Part Five
"Are you going to be all right?"
Alistair asked quietly. For a long time they had been sitting at the
top of the abandoned servant's stair, far to the back of the house.
Behind them, above the landing, a tall, muntined window let in the
light of a pale, full moon, lending a shadowy, bluish cast to the
surrounding rough-plastered walls and whitewashed stair.
"Fine," Archie replied. There was
a bit of an echo in the high-ceilinged, empty space.
Alistair couldn't stifle a laugh.
"I still can't believe you planted him a facer! I never saw anything
like the look on him! Oh, well, with any luck old Wilkie will have got
him so drunk by now he won't remember a thing come morning!"
Archie didn't say so, but he
really didn't much care if his brother meant to do him harm. Let him
try. He had plenty of tricks up his sleeve, and he'd evaded worse
threats over the years, far more often than not, once he'd grown wise.
"He shouldn't have said it,"
Archie said for what must have been the tenth time, feeling his jaw
tighten at the thought, and the simmering anger that he could not seem
to shake, rising to the surface once more.
Alistair sighed. "No, but George
can be…I don't know…provoking somehow. It's almost as if she's asking
for trouble sometimes---"
"It isn't her fault! There
is still no reason---!"
"I know, I know. You're right. But
Malcolm and George do know each other Archie, and I really don't think
he meant anything. From what I hear, the one time he did try something
that wasn't on, she set him right down. She can look after herself, can
George."
Archie didn't answer. He leaned
back on his elbows and tilted his head back, staring, upside-down, at
the cold, white moon.
"It's chilly up here!" Alistair
said. "I'll tell you what, cuz, I'm about fagged to death."
"I'm fine. Go to bed," Archie said.
"You're sure? Well," Alistair
stood and stretched. "Don't sit here all night, will you?" he gave
Archie's shoulder a nudge with his knee. "I'll see you in the morning?"
"Yes. See you in the morning."
When Alistair had gone, Archie lay
there on the stair, looking up at the night sky. He gathered, from what
Alistair had said, that everyone, including Lady Trim, must believe
he'd made a complete fool of himself. Perhaps, but only he had seen the
horrified look on her face, and only he had known what it meant, and he
had not been able to bear it. Years ago, he had only sat and watched
her suffer. He could not let it happen again, even if it made him look
like the biggest fool in the world. But it had not been only for her,
had it? Should the quick, hot anger, the violence he had discovered
inside himself have come as such a surprise to him?
It was cold, and his arse was numb
from sitting so long on the hard stair. He was tired. Too tired to
think any more, or to worry any more tonight. He got to his feet and
started down the darkened stair to the second floor.
Clearly the servants believed that
everyone had gone to bed, for downstairs it was completely dark, and he
had to feel his way along the heavy carved molding that topped the
paneled wainscoting running the length of the hall. The guest rooms
were at this end of the house, and he was unable to stop himself
thinking that she was somewhere near. Fast asleep, probably, and he
imagined her so, breathing softly, her white skin bathed in moonlight,
her marvelous, wild red hair spreading dark upon the pure, white linen.
"Oof!" he could not help the
exclamation as he suddenly ran into a console that was pushed up
against the wall. Lurching forward, hands fumbling, he barely managed
to rescue what felt like an enormous flower arrangement in a very tall
vase. Regaining his balance and setting the object to rights as best he
could manage, he looked about him, hoping he hadn't just woken
everyone. He hadn't made so very much noise, he didn't think. Carefully
he felt his way around the table, and continued on his way, one hand on
the wall and one hand now held out before him.
He'd taken no more than four steps
when he heard the sound. The soft, sharp click of a latch, a door
opening, the faint swish as it moved over thick carpet. He froze,
afraid to turn around, but suddenly the light of a single candle
illuminated the little circle of space where he---and she---stood still.
"My avenging angel."
There was no hint of mockery in
her voice, only gentleness. He turned around slowly, finally. She
looked so small to him all of a sudden, where he had always thought her
rather tall for a woman. She was in a white night dress, high necked
and full, and the green woolen shawl. Instinctively, he cast his eyes
down, and saw that her feet, narrow and very white, were bare.
"F-forgive me. I'm sorry to wake
you, my lady. I bumped into something in the dark." He whispered.
She smiled, "I wasn't sleeping."
He couldn't seem to speak. What
was there to say? She was still smiling at him, and she cocked her head
to one side. "Archie."
"My lady?"
"Please call me George," she said
very softly. "For we are old friends. Or do you not remember? You were
just a little boy when I came to stay."
"O-of course I do," he smiled.
"I'm so sorry, I should go before I wake everyone."
"You have nothing to be sorry
for," she came a few steps closer, and she was looking up at him, the
light from the candle in her hand casting the bones of her face into
dramatic relief. Once again, he could not help but notice the beauty of
her skin, how very smooth and soft it looked. Suddenly his mouth went
very dry.
"I was awake because I was
thinking of coming to find you. But…here you are! Shall I tell you
something Archie?" she asked softly.
He waited, thinking that even the
sound of his breathing sounded monstrously loud here in the quiet and
the dark.
"No one has ever defended my honor
before, sir. And with such fervor! You needn't have done, you know, but
I could not help but be impressed—" She bowed her head, and dipped in a
little curtsy. "---and honored."
Again, he felt afraid that he was
being mocked, but hearing her voice, and seeing the smile in her eyes,
he could not believe it.
Slowly he shook his head, "No one…"
He was only repeating her words in
his distraction, but she misunderstood him.
"Oh." She lifted her chin, and she
crossed her arms, wrapping the shawl closer around her. "Of course,
everyone knows that men have died for me, isn't that so?"
"Oh, no," Archie said, shaking his
head. "I didn't mean to---"
"But it isn't true, not really. My
husband, even the man who killed him, they died for their own vanity.
It isn't quite the same." She lifted her head and looked at him again,
a bit of a smirking smile playing about her lips. "Not that it matters,
of course! Either way, they'd both be just foolish and just as dead!"
He stared at her, blinking.
"Oh, my dear!" she whispered. "Do
I shock you? Oh---I never meant to call you foolish!"
"No, I---"
"I am sorry Archie, "she laughed
quietly. "I know I am peculiar! I don't really expect anyone to
understand me!"
"But I do." Saying the words was
automatic. So natural, so inevitable, like an exhalation of breath, and
now he was taking a step towards her. He raised his hands, as if he
would touch her, then stopped as he saw her look up, and he thought she
seemed to shrink away from him, ever so slightly. Oh, damn and hell!
"My la---George!" he whispered,
and his throat was so tight he felt he would choke. "Please
don't—Please! I must speak to you!"
******
He was in her room, seated on her
little damask wingchair before the fire, and she sat before him on a
little gilt footstool, her knees drawn up almost to her chin, and her
shawl wrapped around her. With the fire behind her, her hair was ablaze
with the warm, red light, floating about her thin, pale face like the
halo of the sun.
"I was sixteen when Phillip
seduced me," she was saying. "What did I know? I thought I was in love.
It thrilled me the way he frightened me, the way he wanted me. I loved
his pride, even his jealousy. If he had been denied me, no one could
have kept me from running away with him, but why would they have denied
us? It was a fantastic match. No one knew the truth, and I was such a
little fool."
"No. It wasn't your fault," Archie
said.
"Wasn't it?" she asked. "There is
something about me, Archie. I love to play with fire, even when I
should know better. I try and try to resist, but soon it becomes like
the itch that will drive you mad! My Papa used to swear I was the
devil's child, with this red hair of mine!"
Her wild, amazing red hair. "He
had no right to hurt you."
"I know." She lowered her head.
"I am so sorry. I have been
wanting to tell you that for so long," he said. "And when I saw you
again…"
"So that is why you are always
watching me?" she asked with a little laugh, and unfolding herself,
turned and picked up the poker to jab the shifting embers of the fire,
sending a sudden exodus of bright sparks scurrying up the flue.
"Forgive me," he said,
embarrassed. "I can imagine what you must have been thinking of me."
She laid the poker on the hearth
and turned to him. She was suddenly so close, their knees were all but
touching. And when she spoke, once again he had to wonder if she must
not be mocking him, but again he could not believe it, not when he saw
her sweet smile, the gentle honesty in her eyes.
She said, "I believe I must have
thought, 'That beautiful young man must be in love with me.'"
She was putting out her hand
to him and he could only hold his breath as her fingers brushed his
cheek, and suddenly he gasped and brought his own hand up to catch
hers, holding it, small, hot as the fire, against his cheek.
"I think---" he began and suddenly
he knew, of all the urgent confessions of this night, there was yet one
more that would not be denied. "I don't know…that I am not."
"Archie…" she did not try to pull
her hand away, although he knew he was squeezing it so tightly he could
feel the fragile bones compress. With a little noise that sounded like
sobbing, he turned his head and pressed his lips against the burning
palm, and she moved towards him, coming off the footstool and dropping
to her knees before him. Her free hand touched his face and moved into
his hair, and before he could think what he was doing, his arm was
around her, pulling her close.
Why didn't she stop him? In his
arms, she was perfectly quiet and soft, and he could feel the heat of
her, warmed by the fire. He had never kissed a woman, had no idea how,
but surely that was what he meant to do. Did she know it? There was a
dizziness in his brain that made him feel giddy and mad, and from deep
in his belly a fierce heat was rising, as hectic and volatile as sparks
from the fire.
Slowly, awkwardly, he leaned
in to her, and still she did not pull away, and finally, he put his
lips to hers. Soft as rose petals, and he sighed against her mouth and
moved his head a little to the side, brushing his lips over hers. The
barest touch was like a lick of flame, and suddenly his insides felt
singed.
"I'm sorry! I don't know what I'm
doing!" he gasped breathlessly, pulling away.
"Yes you do," she whispered,
taking his face in her hands. "Try again."
This time, she held him, and when
he brushed her lips once more with his, she pulled him nearer, and
then, as he grew bolder, pressing harder, she let her lips part
slightly, and he felt the slight flicker of her warm, wet tongue, and
instinctively, he opened to her. He wanted to taste her! The fire, the
strange madness surged in him. He was trying to be so careful, but he
felt unwieldy and half drunk, and his own frantic breath was roaring in
his ears as he opened his mouth and pushed his tongue into hers. He
felt as if he was lapping at her like an over-eager pup, and he could
no more control himself than he could have added two-and-two at that
moment, or lord help him, even have remembered his own name! He knew he
must be holding her too tightly, at any moment she would try to push
him away---
"Here, darling, here," she was
laughing at him sweetly, softly, as she turned her head away at last,
and she leaned back in his arms. He let her slide away, but he did not
let go; his hands were wrapped in the folds of her shawl.
When she looked at him
again, she reached up and put her hands in his hair, loosening his
queue, brushing the gently waving golden strands over his shoulders
with her fingers.
"You are so sweet," she whispered.
"So beautiful. It's all new to you, isn't it?"
It was so obvious, of course. His
cheeks flamed with shame.
She moved closer to him again, her
hands resting on his shoulders, her body between his thighs. He knew
that were he to pull her close enough, she would be able to feel just
what she did to him. Oh God, he burned, he ached! What was he to do?
She came in slowly, her arms
sliding around his neck, and her warm, soft, smooth cheek was touching
his; her gentle breath was in his ear.
"Shall I show you, my angel?" she
whispered, and the length of her body was pressed to his, her soft
belly curving into his crotch and he could not help but shift his hips
to move against her.
"Shall I teach you how to play
with fire?"
Go
to Part Six