Part III
In which some
Parties strive to know their Duty, and their Hearts, and Others seek to
claim Reason in an utter lack of Sense.
***
“My dear
Calpurnia---“
No. Convention dictated that he
mustn’t address her so. Stephen dipped the quill again, but hesitated
before striking the name through. Hell, convention dictated that he not
write to her at all, an unmarried woman who was not his relation, and
not his affianced. Not in the eyes of the great world, that was, not
yet, but in their hearts…
But this concerned her brother’s
life, damn it, and damn the rest of it too. He crumpled the first sheet
in his hands and tossed it straight onto the fire that crackled
cheerily in The Maidenhead’s mostly empty common room, and drawing
another from the little stack on the table before him, began again:
“My
Own Dear Girl,
He is alive.
That word, before all
else, I know you must be awaiting, and I give it to you now.
He was
wounded, yes, but in the
shoulder only. I have no doubt that Benedick has left town forthwith,
and gone into the country. God knows he barely cared, once he was
satisfied, to stay to see whether or not his victim still breathed. But
if any rumor should come to your ear from his quarter, or anyone
else’s, do not believe it, for here is my word, my dear Calpurnia, and
I tell you that your brother lives, and that I know he will be well.
We are keeping
here at The
Maidenhead, as you see by the direction, but do not come, I beg you. In
only a few days, I am certain, Endymion will be strong enough to
travel, and then I shall take him home to Great Nether, and I would,
most certainly, have you leave town and find us there, for we shall
have need of you, of the comfort and care that only you can give.
My dear, I do
not wish to alarm
you, but neither do I wish for you to observe your brother in his
present state wholly unprepared, and so now I must tell you, as gently
as I may, that although it is naught but a shoulder wound that
compromises the health of Endymion’s body, there is, I fear, yet
another consequence which has manifested itself as a result of his
injury. Forgive me, for I cannot tell if he suffered a blow to the head
as he fell, or if this condition has resulted from what we in the
medical profession would term “the shock” that would most naturally
have accompanied the painful and disruptive invasion of his body by a
leaden ball. In short, my dear, Endymion is not quite himself. Quite
plainly, I am speaking of his mind. In my experience, I must confess I
have never seen the like, but certainly I have read of such cases, and
when I am at home, and can be at my books, I am determined to discover
all that I may. It seems to me that Dr. Beddoes has written extensively
on such cases, and this condition, in particular, which I believe is
properly termed “amnesia” and further, that he believes it to be as
much a corporeal distemper as fever or infection, and therefore as
responsive to physick and the healing benefits of time and good care as
any such ailments.
I should tell
you, too, that this
amnesia seems to have presented itself in what, to my understanding, is
a rather unique way, for, rather than Endymion simply having lost his
memory, and his knowledge of his own identity and those of his friends,
in fact he seems to have substituted them with the most extraordinary
delusions---he seems to believe himself a common seaman, of all things!
Or so he did. Between Nettles and myself, we have already begun to
disabuse him of these absurd notions, and to re-acquaint him with the
true facts of his own life, and these he does seem to accept and to
take to heart quite meekly. But elements of the delusion still persist
as I write, and I believe you may find it quite startling, at first, to
hear him speak! The very cant of Seven Dials! Well you know his gift
for mimicry, and the way he will so often entertain us all with his
characters and his voices. I can only conjecture that in the confusion
of his illness, he…“
“Preposterous!” Peregrine
Purebread crossed the Morning Room on lean, silk-clad legs, from the
chimneypiece---where he’d been idly polishing his quizzing glass as he
listened to her relate the contents of Stephen’s letter---to the
window, where Calpurnia turned slightly away at his approach, as if to
shield the pages from him.
“’Amnesia’? I have never heard of
such nonsense!” he scoffed. “He means to say that Lord Oliphant is mad,
does he not?”
Calpurnia observed that his dark
red hair seemed to glow a most unpleasant shade of orange in the bright
southerly light that streamed in through the windows, and that here and
there a short, tightly curling strand seemed to have escaped the
discipline of the thick, cinnamon oil pomade his valet must have
applied to it that morning, and sprung up in lewd defiance, reminding
her of nothing so much as her own rather coarse, kinky nether hairs.
She colored at the very idea of having such a thought in relation to
Peregrine, even if it was only to make an unfavorable comparison.
In any event, he was too near, and
as discreetly as she could manage it, she folded the pages closed, and
brought them close to her breast. “He does not say that Endymion is
mad,” she said firmly. “Only that he is…ill. But Steph---but Dr.
Studley seems certain that he will recover himself completely, and I,
for one, have the utmost faith in his medical judgment.”
“Mm,” Peregrine mumbled,
tight-lipped. “What else does he say? That’s rather a long letter you
have there, and I wonder if you have told us all. Come now, we are
family here, my dear.”
Calpurnia smiled, a bit stiffly.
“Well, it is a rather long
letter, and so I have put much of it in my
own words, of course, but I assure you, sir, I have related all of the
pertinent facts. In addition to these, he only adds that we must all do
what we can to help Endymion in his recovery when he is returned to
Great Nether, and that a quiet life in the country and tender care of
those who love him are what he will need most.”
“Of course! And we must all go
now!” Pandora Purebread rose from the settee. A heavenly creature in
her cloud-blue walking costume, she came to put her arms around
Calpurnia. “Peregrine, you must take me home immediately, so that I
might see to the house and have us packed for the country! Dear
Calpurnia! You mustn’t be afraid! I know that Dr. Studley is correct,
and all will be well! I know it!” Her lovely, angelic face and soft
blue eyes were the picture of tender care as she stroked Calpurnia’s
arm, soothing her.
Not for the first time, Calpurnia
could not help but think how different a brother and sister could be.
Here was Pansy, as beautiful as a painting, all softness and golden
hair, so perfectly sweet and good. And there was Peregrine, slender and
sharp---not truly unhandsome, if she were to judge without
partiality---but she never could abide that dreadful red hair, and his
rather long, inquisitive nose had always made her think of one of these
hideous ferrets that Endymion used to keep. But why should she wonder
at the contrast, really? She had only to look at herself and Endymion:
light and dark, frivolous and serious, reckless and responsible.
Fearless and…
Stinging tears sprang suddenly to
her eyes, in spite of her determined resolve.
“Oh, no!” cried Pansy, embracing
her fully, holding her close against her generous bosom. “Oh, my dear,
you mustn’t! Oh, come now, it isn’t like you to fret, is it? We are
here to help you as best we may, aren’t we, Peregrine?”
“Of course,” her brother replied,
bowing slightly and smiling in a way that Calpurnia believed she was
meant to read as charming. “Miss Oliphant knows that I am her servant,
as ever.”
Might she give him the sack and
send him off without a character, then? Oh, she was ungrateful and
cross! What would Grandpapa have said? It wasn’t as if she as the only
one who must be suffering this anxiety. Although it did seem to
Calpurnia that Pansy was a good deal more concerned with how she,
Calpurnia, was adjusting to the news, than for herself or her injured
fiance. Perhaps that was understandable, in light of the circumstances
that had led to Endymion’s wounding---dueling, risking his life for the
sake of another man’s wife, with seemingly little regard for the woman
to whom he owed the most consideration, and whose very future and
reputation he would so cavalierly put in jeopardy, to say nothing of
whatever tender feelings she might hold for the man she was to marry.
And Pansy was, above all, a tender sort of girl.
Calpurnia gave her head a shake
and sniffed, composing herself quickly. Pansy was right, of course. It
simply wasn’t like her to fret or fall to bits, especially when there
was so much to be done!
“You are so good to me, dear
Pansy,” she said, returning the girl’s embrace. “Both of you are…such
cherished friends,” she added, giving Peregrine a quick smile.
“Well, we have always been as
sisters, haven’t we?” Pansy said. “And before long, we shall be, really
and truly, won’t we?”
Peregrine snorted. “Naturally, the
wedding will have to be postponed, at the very least!” he said.
“Whatever can you mean, Perry?”
said Pansy, turning on her brother and seeming to puff up with pretty
indignation, like a little hen with her cloud-blue feathers ruffled.
“We shall assume nothing of the sort at the moment, shall we,
Calpurnia? And I don’t know what you mean by, ‘at the very least’! For
shame! As if I would ever think of such a thing as crying off our
engagement at a time like this, when Calpurnia---and Endymion---need
me!”
Peregrine, in turn, drew himself
up as stiff as a fighting cock, his bristling red comb and long, sharp
beak completing the picture to perfection. He snapped, “It is well
enough that I am expected to stand aside and watch my only sister be
married to a fool and a libertine, but I will be damned if I shall let
you give yourself up to a Bedlamite, Pandora, Papa’s will be damned!”
Pandora gasped. “Perry! How can
you---?”
“Please!” Calpurnia interrupted.
“Please, Lord Purebread. Your sister is right, surely? We need make no
assumptions, just yet, as to Lord Oliphant’s future…health. And as to
your other remarks regarding my brother, I am prepared, in this
instance, to grant you pardon. You spoke, I know, only out of a
brother’s concern.”
Peregrine bowed low, his eyes on
hers, grey, with shards of white ice that seemed to match the chill in
her heart when she looked at him. No, not unhandsome; no one would
really say so, but oh, how could she ever---? But inwardly she must
concede that they were in agreement on at least one thing. In fact,
Endymion and Pansy were a terrible match, and Calpurnia had always
known it. There had been times when she had almost been able to make
herself believe that Pansy might, in the end, have a gentling effect on
Endymion, that her beauty and sweet simplicity might work a settling
charm upon his restless nature. But in her heart, she knew that it
would never have been enough for him, and that Pansy would surely be
the one to suffer. How could she, Calpurnia, wish such a thing on
Pansy, who truly had been, just as she had said, so very much like a
dear little sister to her?
“It is a woman’s duty,” her
grandpapa would say. Oh, Grandpapa! She had loved him so! And she knew,
even, that he was not always right, but she had loved him, and she had
promised him, and if it came to it, could she be so disloyal to his
precious memory?
When the Purebreads had gone at
last, Calpurnia rang the bell, and when Keeble appeared, she instructed
him to make arrangements to remove to Great Nether. Then she stood by
the window for a few moments more, bathed in the warm, bright sun---so
rare for London at this time of year!---and unfolded her letter. Once
more, she smiled, reading his bold salutation, and then, the final
lines, intended only for her:
“I have your
trust, do I not,
Calpurnia? You know, do you not, that all I do is for the sake of but
one object, that I would forfeit my very life for your protection, and
for your most perfect happiness?
“My
trespasses are already far too
many to ever be forgiven, and if I am a criminal condemned, then let me
revel in my crime: I kiss your hands, your eyes, your mouth. I have
promised you, my dear, my darling girl! When, oh, when, shall you
promise me? “
***
“Is the food to your
liking, sir?”
The tall feller asked him. He was bringing in more water. What else was
left to wash, Alfie wondered? He’d been soaped and scrubbed from head
to toe a couple of times already, and he didn’t see as that could be
good for a body, no matter what that feller---Nettles was his
name---said. He was about rubbed raw, and still the man weren’t
satisfied.
“Mmm. Good!” Alfie mumbled through
a large mouthful in answer to the question. Good? It was the best
damned grub he’d ever had! Even the leftovers he was used to get from
the kitchens at Lombard Street when he was a mite weren’t near as good
as this, at least not that he remembered. Today he had a nice beef and
kidney pie with lots of onions and a thick and tender gold-y brown
crust that he would swear just melted away right in his mouth whenever
he took a bite. He didn’t mind that there wasn’t so much salt to the
beef, even, because there were so many other good tastes in there
besides. Herbs and pepper and things, he reckoned. He had a loaf of
fresh white bread and a nice hunk of yellow cheese, and some good dark
brown ale to wash it all down. There was even some pretty-looking red
apples in a bowl on the table next to the bed, and he reckoned he might
have one of those later, while he was looking out the window at the
birds and the trees. Even with his shoulder paining him the way it did,
and even with all the soaping and shaving and scrubbing, it was a fact
that he was pretty sure this was the most comfortable he’d ever been in
his life. And Nettles said that this wasn’t nothing compared to what it
was like at this place they were going, Great Nether, what had belonged
to this feller, Lord Oliphant, who they said looked had just like him,
and who they said he was meant to pretend to be now.
Probably they were crazy, both of
them, Nettles and the Doctor feller, but Alfie didn’t mind going along
with them for now. Sometimes that was what you had to do with crazy
people. Like poor old Finch, when he’d get to seeing God in the
rigging; it was always best to go along with him, and say you saw Him
too, or Finch would go even crazier, and sometimes he’d even start to
cry, and such. If he thought you saw God, too, though, he was happy.
He was warm and dry and
comfortable, he had plenty to eat, and he wasn’t fit for work, anyhow.
On top of it, he’d had enough trouble with soldiers and the like along
the road, even with his liberty ticket on him, and now something had
happened to that. There must be some kind of a hot press on, and he
wasn’t too keen to get nabbed for some ship that wasn’t the Indy, what
might have a captain that wasn’t a good one like Pellew. The Indy might
even have sailed by now, and he reckoned he might as well lay low here
as anywhere. He’d miss his mates, and he didn’t much like the idea of
being thought a deserter, either, but he’d have to think about all of
that later.
He was curious, too, and that was
a fact. He hadn’t been able to believe that any one feller could really
look so much like any other so that folk that knew the other feller
could really be fooled, but then Doctor Studley had showed him the
picture. It was just a tiny picture---a pair of them, in fact---in a
little gold case that opened up like a book.
“Lord Oliphant had these made only
recently,” the Doctor said. “It was to be wedding gift to his
betrothed, I believe. This is Miss Purebread, his lordship’s affianced.
And this, of course, is his lordship. Can you tell me it is not exactly
like looking in a mirror, Mr. Oldroyd?”
For a minute, Alfie couldn’t help
thinking about the last time he’d seen himself in a mirror, and he had
to admit, it gave him a little pang to think again how Betty Brewster
had messed him about. He couldn’t help thinking, either, that this
shore leave business could be rougher on a body than serving on a man
‘o war. What with the beating he’d taken from Finchley Figgers, and
then getting run down by a carriage and a pair of horses, he reckoned
he hadn’t known how safe he was at sea. At least with the Frogs, you
knew they was going to be shooting at you. A man could at least be
prepared!
And then it took him another
minute to answer the Doctor’s question, because all of a sudden he had
the funniest feeling, like he’d been run down all over again. Course,
he wasn’t thinking it as such, at the time, but when he had time to
ponder on it later, he decided that, if ever he’d tried to figure out
what the angels in heaven might look like, his imagination probably
couldn’t come a lot closer than the picture that was looking back at
him from that little gold case. If angels had tits, that was.
“Well?” Doctor Studley asked. He
was a youngish feller that reminded Alfie a lot of Mr. Hornblower. Real
serious and smart, and he was tall, too, with dark hair and those same
kind of brown eyes that was kind of deep and maybe a little bit sad.
Like Mr. Hornblower, too, you could just tell he was the sort of man
you could trust to be fair and look after you and make sure you didn’t
get yourself into too much trouble.
“Yeah,” Alfie said finally. “I
reckon he does look like me at that. What’s a fee-once?”
“Pardon? Oh. Affianced, Mr.
Oldroyd. Miss Purebread is---or was---Lord Oliphant’s intended. She was
to be his wife,” Studley said.
At first Alfie didn’t think too
much about what the doctor had just said. He was just staring at the
picture. “Ain’t she pretty, though? But them…” he looked up at the
doctor. “I reckon the artist feller, he made ‘em look so big and nice
just for the picture, eh? They ain’t real?”
Studley laughed and his dark eyes
held a knowing glint that Alfie sure enough rrecognized. They were
talking, after all, man to man. “Oh, I can assure you they are! Indeed,
Miss Purebread is an acknowledged beauty, and her figure---although
some will call it far too lavish for fashion---is greatly admired, at
least among most gentlemen of my
acquaintance!”
“Cor,” Alfie sighed, staring. And
then it hit him. “Hang on---I don’t got to get married, do I?”
It seemed to Alfie that he never
did get a straight answer to that question. Studley had said something
about crossing some bridge, and he’d started in messing about with
Alfie’s sling and asking him all kinds of questions about whether this
hurt, or that was feeling any better yet, and how was he liking the
food and was the bed comfortable enough, and before Alfie knew it, the
pictures had been put away, and Nettles was back in there with some
more water, and that had just been that. But in the meantime, Alfie had
thought on it and decided he didn’t reckon anybody could make him get
married, and all he’d have to do, if worse come to worst, was just to
jump for it, and find him a new ship at the nearest port. If it came to
that, it sure would make a good story to tell in the mess, if nothing
else.
He reckoned they was both crazy,
and he wasn’t at all sure about any of it, but then, he’d never been
any place like this Great Nether, and he thought it sounded like a
place he should see. For that matter, he’d never laid eyes on a real
angel, neither. What man wouldn’t be curious?
It wasn’t easy to eat in bed, and
he was trying to be careful not to get any of the beef gravy on his
nice white shirt. Really, it had belonged to that Lord Oliphant feller,
and it was the only one he’d got at the moment. Not that it mattered if
he did dirty himself, because that feller Nettles would have it off him
and clean again in no time. The man was a fool for cleaning things,
that was for sure. He reckoned some people were just like that. Captain
Pellew was a right one for a nice, white deck, for instance, and any
time there wasn’t nothing else to do, and even sometimes when there
was, he’d have ‘em all down on their knees, sanding and holystoning the
boards until they shone like a piece of silver.
It wasn’t easy trying to use a
fork, either, especially with these mitts the feller had put on him,
and truth be told, whatever that nasty paste was he’d smeared all over
Alfie’s hands before he’d shoved them in there was beginning to burn
just a little bit. Alfie thought maybe he’d better mention it.
“Ah, that’s because it’s working!”
Nettles said with a smile. “But perhaps it has been on long enough.
Let’s have a look, shall we?”
Alfie held up his good hand, and
after removing Alfie’s dinner tray and placing it on the table with the
apples, Nettles slowly peeled the glove off it, taking a lot of the
greasy, grayish paste along with it. Alfie wrinkled his nose at the
peculiar smell.
“Oh, yes. Look at that!” Nettles
said proudly, taking Alfie’s hand in his own and turning it, palm up,
to inspect it. “Now that is the hand of a gentleman, sir.”
Alfie couldn’t believe it. Anybody
knew that a couple years of hauling rope and climbing ratlines and a
man would go to his grave with the tar stains as much a part of his
skin as his tattoos, and no amount of scrubbing was going to make any
kind of difference. But now Alfie looked down at his own hand, turning
it over and back, and over and back again, and damned if it weren’t as
pink and soft as a little baby’s. Not any woman he’d ever had, even,
had hands as clean as this.
He whistled in amazement. “Cor!
What’d you do to me?”
Nettles beamed. “Nettle’s Secret
Bleaching Preparation. I used it to get the…bloodstains out of your
shirt as well. Can’t give away the entire secret, of course. Lime and a
bit of potash, a dash of this and a dribble of that. I daresay it
worked even better than I expected! Fancy that! I am pleased!”
After he’d pulled the other mitt
off the hand that belonged to the arm in the sling, and saw it just as
pink and soft and clean as the first, Nettles went and poured some of
the hot water he’d brought into the basin, soaked a piece of linen in
it, and began to wash the remains of the greasy stuff from Alfie’s
hands for him. “But we don’t say, ‘cor’ anymore, do we sir?” the man
said, looking Alfie in the eye.
“Oh, right. Forgot, “ Alfie said
agreeably. “What d’we say, then?”
“Oh, any number of things, “
Nettles said thoughtfully. “It rather depends on the company. It is
perhaps always safest to say something like, ‘my goodness!’ or ‘good
heavens!’
“Good ‘eavens!” Alfie tried it
out. “Yeah, that one’s all right!”
Nettles shook his head. “No,
‘heavens’. Ha-heavens. You must sound the haitch, sir. You remember.
Hah! As if you have something at the back of your throat, or you are
making to spit. Try it again.”
“Good ha-heavens!”
“Yes, sir! That’s rather more like
it. Very good indeed!”
“Ha-Horatio Ha-Hornblower!”
“I beg your pardon, sir?”
“Oh, nuffink. I was just trying
out my ha-haitches.”
“Very good, sir.” Nettles finished
washing Alfie’s hands, then straightened up and took the water away.
“I told you there’s already some
things I can say proper, didn’t I, Mr. Nettles? Leastwise my mates
always said I sounded just like the real thing,” Alfie said with a
grin, remembering some good times on the old Indy when he’d been able
to make Stylesy just about jump out of his skin, thinking the captain
was standing right behind him when he were up to something he shouldn’t
be!
“Listen to this,” he said, waiting
until he had the man’s full attention, and taking a moment to arrange
himself just right, sitting up real straight, like he’d got a proper
big stick up his arse. He cleared his throat a little and made sure he
talked real low and slow:
“I usually find that the more able
the officer, the better turned out the men,” he said. Then, doing his
best not to giggle, he lowered his chin just a little bit, and gave
Nettles That Look, the look like he weren’t no more than a little dried
up speck of turd stuck to the bottom of his, Alfie’s, nice, shiny new
boots, and said, “At least in the ahh-my.”
Nettles looked at the young man,
feeling an odd mixture of sadness and wonder. What an utterly curious
person! He was indeed a gifted mimic—although so was a trained
crow---but that was so very curious as well, for Lord Oliphant too, of
course…
How, he asked himself again, had
this happened? And what was he to make of it all? Was it indeed, as
Doctor Studley had declared, the very work of Providence? Or was it
rather, he wondered with a bit of a chill, the inevitable hand of Fate?
Was it even for him to consider
these things, and were the consequences yet to come any kind of thing
that he should take upon himself either to nurture or to prevent? He
had served Lord Oliphant, and his father, and his father before him. He
had kept his counsel always, and he knew that he would keep it still,
for he was a gentleman’s gentleman, first, last, and above all.
“So what d’you think?” young
Oldroyd asked, grinning expectantly. The afternoon sun crept in through
the small, muntined window and lit his shining yellow curls, glinting
off the gold ring he still wore in his ear. The diamond, Nettles
thought. We overlooked that, didn’t we? Or did we? It was the only
thing of his to go with him to his grave. Well, Lord Oliphant did have
another. Several, in fact.
“Oh, excellent, Mr. Oldroyd!” he
replied. “Most excellent indeed. And now that you’ve had your dinner,
would you like to rest for a bit? I am just going to take these and put
them outside for the girl, and then I shall go and see if there is
anything Doctor Studley requires,” he said, picking up the dinner tray,
and moving towards the door.
Alfie reckoned he was about ready
to take a rest from resting, but he’d already figured out it didn’t do
a bit of good to start an argument with Nettles or the Doctor feller.
He gave a sigh and settled back against the big feather pillows, and
reckoned he’d just watch his birds some more, until he felt like
sleeping.
He was all right, was Old Nettles,
though.
“Oi! Nettles!,” he called out as
the man was turning the doorknob, about to step out into the hall. He
turned round again, and Alfie just could tell by that patient look on
his face he was about to tell him he needed to sound his ‘tee’s, or
something.
He gave the old feller a wink and
made like he’d got that stick up his arse again.
“By the by, Net-tles,” he said
carefully, making sure to give him the turd look, too. “I think it might be better if you were to
address me as ‘my lord’.”
The old man just about grinned,
which gave Alfie almost as good a feeling as when Mr. Hornblower would
call him a “good man”.
“Of course, my lord,” Nettles
replied with a nod of his head. “It might at that.”
***
“Dear God. What crimes have I
committed thus far, Nettles?” Stephen was stretched out on his bed,
fully dressed, but for his boots, and he covered his squinting eyes
with one hand, pinching the bridge of his nose, as if his head was
paining him.
“Kidnapping and fraud, sir,”
Nettles replied, bending to pick up the boots. “Oh, and theft, I
suppose, if the cost of the inn is coming out of his lordship’s purse.”
“You’re guilty too, of course,”
the doctor said. “If only by association.”
“Yes, sir. Shall I have these
cleaned for you?” He held up the boots.
Stephen sat up suddenly, onto the
edge of the bed. “You are---you have been---rather acquiescent, I must
say! Have you nothing more to say on the matter? I think that is rather
unlike you, Nettles, if I might presume to know your character.”
The old fellow merely nodded, and
Stephen thought he detected the hint of a shrug about those straight,
elegant shoulders. “Perhaps, sir, it is merely because, like you, I
cannot think why it might be that circumstances should have presented
themselves as they have, were it not for a very particular---and as you
have termed it---a Provident cause. I simply do not know. But…”
“But what, man?” Stephen demanded
sharply, and it occurred to Nettles that his eyes were slightly red and
swollen, as if he’d been weeping. Well, very likely he had. He had just
buried his dearest friend.
“Well, sir, I was only going to
say that nothing has been done thus far that cannot be undone.”
Stephen shook his head. “I have
written to Calpurnia.”
“Even so, sir.”
“Even so?” Stephen got to his feet
and began to pace the bare floorboards in his stockinged feet, one hand
on his hip, the other raking back his thick, dark forelock. “Even so? I
have told her that her brother lives, that he was barely wounded! Am I
to tell her now that it was all a lie, that I have seen Endymion laid,
a stranger in a stranger’s grave, and that I have done these things,
that I have concocted this…this ridiculous story---for no other reason
than that I feared to lose her?” He gave a bitter laugh. “I shall lose
her, shan’t I Nettles? One way or another, now, I shall! Oh, God! This
is madness! What was I thinking?”
Neither man said anything for a
long moment, although it seemed to Stephen that Nettles did have
something in mind to say.
“What, Nettles?” he asked,
finally.
“It’s nothing, sir.”
“It’s not nothing. Say your piece,
man!”
Nettles hesitated a moment more,
and then said. “I’m sorry, sir. It is only that I was suddenly reminded
of something. I was thinking of Violet. Do you remember?”
Stephen looked confused. “Violet?
The spaniel bitch? Endymion’s pet?”
“Yes, sir. One of his old
lordship’s hunters kicked her in the stall and broke her back.”
Dear God. And Endymion wouldn’t
let them shoot her, wouldn’t let them tell his grandfather. Stephen
felt ill just thinking about it again, the poor creature. How she had
suffered. They had constructed a brace to keep her perfectly still, fed
her by hand for months. They had only been boys, but even then, he
should have known better. Cruelty, was absolutely what it was, but
Endymion had been wild with grief, and he, Stephen had not then, any
more than he did now, been able to accept that there were some things
that even he could not change.
“Anyone else would have shot that
dog, sir,” Nettles went on. “And of course, it would have been the
right thing to do.”
Yes. Stephen thought. But Violet
had lived, after all, to walk and run, and to whelp litter upon litter
of the finest bird dogs in all the Home Counties. Her descendents
hunted the preserves of Dukes and Kings.
Stephen frowned. “Are you saying
that the end can justify the means, Nettles? Christ, how trite.”
Nettle shook his head. “Oh, not at
all, sir. At least, on the face of it, I was only thinking that I have
seen what you can do when you put your mind to it. But now I imagine I
am saying too that perhaps there is never only one right thing. That
perhaps we cannot know, until we have seen a thing through, whether or
not what is right is also what is best.”
Stephen had to laugh in spite of
himself. “Not even Endymion himself could do a better job of
rationalizing such an utterly appalling lack of sense. He would be
amused, I think. So…in for a penny, in for a pound, eh, Nettles?”
“You might say that, sir,” Nettles
replied. “I’ll just have these boots cleaned for you then, shall I?
To be continued
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