Fives Everyday

by Yvonne Rathbone
©1997

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Some Basic Meanings
Change
Motion
Adaption
Uncertainty
Challenge
Conflict
Fear
Loss

Exercises In This Section
Making Changes
Dealing With Loss

The Buddha had one big realization the night he sat under the Bodhi tree and gained enlightenment. Even though he would later create a body of work that has kept Buddhists busy down through the ages, this one insight was the core of all he tried to convey and the base for all other Buddhist thought and practice. His insight was that all human suffering comes from our belief that things are stable and unchanging.

We believe that this chair or this person or this opportunity will always exist. We base this belief on the circumstantial evidence that the chair or person or opportunity has existed and is continuing to exist right now. But time and again we find that the chair breaks into kindling, the person moves away, or the opportunity disappears. Every time we are startled. We weren't expecting the change when it happened. We had no way of knowing the chair was going to break right then.

Why do we expect things to stay the same? One reason is because it's easier. It's easier to assume that things will continue as they are because when things do change, they often change in ways we can't predict. it's a lot easier to assume the chair will stay a chair than to keep in mind constantly that it might break in this moment, or this next moment. The leg may break or the back. It is convenient to assume the chair will stay a chair because that way we have only one thing to consider and that's something we already know - the chair the way it has been.

But that's not all that is going on. We don't just assume things don't change. We often actively don't want them to. We are attached to the way things are because they're bearable. We know we can survive things as they are because we are surviving them. Because of change, we don't know what we will be made to endure.

A large part of this fear comes from our culture. In Western culture, life is seen as a line from birth to death. In Western culture, life begins with birth. The line of life continues in one direction, from the past to the future and ends with our deaths. After our deaths we spend eternity in either extreme pleasure or pain (if you hold to the most widely held spiritual beliefs of our culture) or we cease to exist at all.

This belief that life is a line extending only into a finite future (or a future with the possibility of eternal pain) makes change a very difficult thing to deal with. Change happens over time. Change means that we are getting closer to death. It's no wonder that we experience the fives as uniformly bad. More than any other number in the Minor Arcana, they show us that we are getting older and closer to death.

There is an alternative to this way of thinking, and it is one that I believe is very much needed in our culture today. It is a view that sees change as not only a part of life, but the best part, the reason for living and the purpose of it all. This is the view of many Pagan paths.

A basic tenet of many Pagan beliefs (not all) is that everything is constantly changing. This attitude is shown in a beautiful chant to the Goddess that goes: "She changes everything she touches, everything she touches, changes."

This change however is not seen as linear with a final end, but as an ongoing cycle. Death is seen as that which brings life, for the moment we destroy one thing, we have created another. The block of marble is destroyed that the statue may be born. The food is destroyed that our bodies may have energy. The sperm and the egg are destroyed that the embryo may live. Our own deaths are only a prelude to rebirth.

Life and change are inextricably connected and we see this in the number five. Five is considered the number of change because it breaks up the stable four and also because it represents life. It is the element of spirit added to the four physical elements. It is directly linked to the life cycles of woman: birth, menarche, motherhood, menopause and death. These are the five major changes women go through in the course of their lives. The number five is also to life as it represents the fives limbs of the body: one head, two arms and two legs.

With these new connections we can begin to free ourselves from the fear of change and death. This allows us to appreciate the present moment. When we fear change, it's hard to stay aware of the present in any detail. The details of this moment, those things that make it unique and special, are the very things that changed to make it different from all the previous moments. To appreciate the present, we must be able to freely accept the changes that created it.

As long as we fear change, we have to do something to keep from noticing it. We develop a perception of our current moment that hides the changes that are happening. Often, we live our lives ina kind of haze ignoring vast amounts of our everyday lives to maintain the illusion that nothing is changing.

This illusion doesn't work. We are able to ignore the change around us only at the cost of detaching ourselves from reality. We must disconnect in order to ignore. And we can only ignore for so long before the wrinkles and grey hair get to be too much and we are forced to recognize that yes, things have changed.

By fearing change, we pull ourselves out of life, distracting ourselves from the very things that could bring us connections, a sense of experience and memories. For when we finally do notice the change, it's too late to go back and appreciate the way things were.

By realizing that change is life (yes, it's that simple!) and that death does not mean the end of everything, we can allay our fear of change and enter into a real connection with the reality going on around us everyday. We can appreciate the things are moving and changing. We can pay attention to what is actually going on and cherish it because we know that it won't last forever. In the realm of everyday spirituality, no number gives you a surer path for experiencing your life than the five.

Making Changes Exercise

Think of your day and your week. List at least five things that you do the same way everytime you do them. Do you drive home from work the same way? Do you make your coffee at the same point in your morning routine? Perhaps you eat the same thing for lunch everyday.

For the next five days you will change one thing on your list for that day. You only have to change that item for that day and only one new change is allowed per day. (You may keep any changes that work out.)

Write about each change. How did you feel? Did the change cause problems for you? For others? Name one positive thing that happened for each change. Finally, connect each change with a Five from the Tarot.


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Dealing With Loss Exercise

Name five things you have lost.

How did you feel about the loss? How did it affect your life?

Connect each loss to a Tarot Five. Are the suits evenly represented? Is any suit not represented?

For each loss, name one thing that has come into your life because of the loss. If you need help thinking of losses, you may pull cards from the deck and use the Recall An Experience exercise.


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