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The Marching Chinese

MPS: Yuba City, CA, USA: Mr. Ying Lee Jones, President of the Yuba-Sino Association, has proposed that Yuba City host a Marching Chinese Festival.

The festival will have a theme based on “The Marching Chinese” article that once appeared in Ripley’s Believe It or Not publication (Opens in new page). The article stated that the population of China Marching past a point four abreast would march forever as the population would grow faster than the marchers could march.

Mr. Ying Lee Jones asserted that he had done the math and determined that the march would only last 42 years. He said, “My figures are based on the current population of China and the birth and death rates published in Beijing in 2003, which show the result of the One Baby Decree. The marchers would be 4 feet apart and march at 3 miles per hour. A normal walking speed.

The original article seemed to assume that the reproduction rate would continuously fuel the marching column. But, in reality many of the marchers would pass the counting point before being able to reproduce. The proposed counting point for the festival march would be at The Last Place on Earth (Opens in new page).”

Members of the Yuba City Commerce Board were very enthusiastic about the proposal. “This would be a boon to Yuba City’s economy. Think of the revenue a billion Chinese tourists would generate.”, said Ms. Annabelle Lalabolla, “They would need lodging, food, and they could enjoy all the amenities Yuba City has to offer. We have sixteen oriental restaurants and we are adjacent to a major rice growing district. This would bring 40 years of prosperity to Yuba City and the surrounding area. And if we invite Chinese people from other countries this could last for a century.”

Chinese Parade
The Marching Chinese in Yuba City
will be colorful and resplendent.

Mr. Ying Lee Jones has several suggestions for the march. “It will not be a military style march,” said Mr. Ying lee Jones, “It will be more like a Chinese New Year's parade, with costumes, colorful dragons, and fireworks. Lots of exploding firecrackers.”

“We May have to rethink that aspect,” said Ms. Annabelle Lalabolla who is also a member of the Safe and Sane 4th of July committee.

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