Articles

The New Historically Worst President

The Gold Rush

What Plug?

Hillary's Dream Ticket

The 10 most popular numbers

The Forever Stamp

End of an Era

Bio-Fuels

Birdwars

Yuba Library Bans Book

Aliens: Foiled Again

First Class Security

A Tale of Two Dogs

The Grand Amnesty

Internet Language Classes

It's a Big Country

Creation or Evolution?

Interview With a Saint

This is Heavy, Maybe

New Ten Commandments

A Nation of Laws

Reasonable Motif

One Cool Job

Nothing Lasts Forever

The Marching Chinese

Another Money-making Scheme on the Internet

The Supreme Taco Supreme Eater

New Old Sacramento

Sky High on the World's Smallest Mountain Range

Holy Mary Mother of God

The Last Place on Earth

Archives

Articles are archived as situations change. They may be interesting but no longer relevant. Articles are discarded when they are not read for a specific period as determined by our esteemed editor..

Bless Our Nation

42 Million Mini Macs

Red Rats, Blue Rats

Two Golden Rules

Everything is Fine

Where Are We?

Links

Contact Us

The Marching Chinese

MPS: Yuba City, CA, USA: Mr. Ying Lee Jones, President of the Yuba-Sino Association, has proposed that Yuba City host a Marching Chinese Festival.

The festival will have a theme based on “The Marching Chinese” article that once appeared in Ripley’s Believe It or Not publication (Opens in new page). The article stated that the population of China Marching past a point four abreast would march forever as the population would grow faster than the marchers could march.

Mr. Ying Lee Jones asserted that he had done the math and determined that the march would only last 42 years. He said, “My figures are based on the current population of China and the birth and death rates published in Beijing in 2003. The marchers would be 4 feet apart and march at 3 miles per hour. A normal walking speed.

The original article seemed to assume that the reproduction rate would continuously fuel the marching column. But, in reality many of the marchers would pass the counting point before being able to reproduce. The proposed counting point for the festival march would be at The Last Place on Earth (Opens in new page).”

Members of the Yuba City Commerce Board were very enthusiastic about the proposal. “This would be a boon to Yuba City’s economy. Think of the revenue a billion Chinese tourists would generate.”, said Ms. Annabelle Lalabolla, “They would need lodging, food, and they could enjoy all the amenities Yuba City has to offer. We have sixteen oriental restaurants and we are adjacent to a major rice growing district. This would bring 40 years of prosperity to Yuba City and the surrounding area. And if we invite Chinese people from other countries this could last for a century.”

Mr. Ying Lee Jones has several suggestions for the march. “It will not be a military style march,” said Mr. Ying lee Jones, “It will be more like a Chinese New Year's parade, with costumes, colorful dragons, and fireworks. Lots of exploding firecrackers.”

“We May have to rethink that aspect,” said Ms. Annabelle Lalabolla who is also a member of the Safe and Sane 4Th committee.

Chinese Parade Marching Chinese Illustration
The Marching Chinese in Yuba City
will be colorful and resplendent.
This illustration of The
Marching Chinese may have
appeared in Ripley's Believe
It or Not as early as 1910.

Untitled
Bookcover

For description and sample chapter go to Author

To purchase go to: Amazon
or
Barnes & Noble

The Bull Shirt & Stuff

The Bull Shirt

Left Brain, Right Brain

Flying Logic
Sciral Consistancy