MPS: Yuba City, CA, USA: The faithful are descending upon the Yuba City Mall to witness the image of The Virgin Mary found in bird droppings on the parking lot pavement beneath the decorative roosting trees favored by a local flock of blackbirds.
Discovered by a patron of the mall, Mrs. Alicenta MacGartle, the droppings are a remarkable likeness of The Virgin Mary as depicted in the Bottchelli Fresco in the Vatican.
Unconfirmed reports of miraculous cures, restored eyesight, and use of damaged limbs have attracted hundreds of the desperate faithful to the parking lot to pray to the image.
Merchants in the mall are dismayed by the large crowds congregating in the parking lot barring shoppers access to the mall stores.
Mr. James C. Haliburtrib, manager of Caroline's Tea Shoppe, complained about the loss of business since the discovery of the image. "This is ridiculous. said Mr. Haliburtrib, "People are letting their imaginations run wild over a bunch of bird crap. It doesn't even look anything like a person, never mind the Virgin Mary."
Miss. Olivia Dawsen, president of the Mall Protectorate League, agreed. "The police should remove these people and sweep up the mess." said Miss Dawsen.
A member of the local law enforcement speaking anonymously said, "This is beyond our jurisdiction. There is no criminal action, no evidence of fraud and therefore no perpetrators. Besides, one good rain will put an end to this."
At this time there has been no comment from religious leaders of the community.