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The New Bio-Fuel

MPS: Yuba City, CA, USA: As a member of the Avant Garde of alternative fuels, the newly formed Sutter Bio-Fuel Corporation has located its headquarters in Yuba City. Departing from the usual forms of bio-fuels such as ethanol made from corn and grasses, the Sutter Bio-Fuel Corporation proposes to render fat into a viable fuel.

At the introduction ceremony of the Sutter Bio-Fuel Corporation, CEO Jacque Spratt said, "The expensive production cost of using fat as a fuel is offset by two factors; the high cost of petroleum and the abundance of fat available in the United States. We propose to solve two issues with our process. One, we will reduce our dependency on foreign oil, and two, we will counteract the epidemic of obesity in America.

Raising livestock to produce fat is wasteful as the amount of feed needed exceeds the amount of corn required to produce an equivalent amount of ethanol fuel. While we will use animal fat from the current levels of livestock we will not raise additional livestock for use as fuel.

Thick slabs of bacon are never less than 50% fat.

Fortunately 80% of the American population is more than 30% overweight with 25% of that group being more than 50%, and a significant number being over 100% overweight. That's a lot of fat. Our plan is to create liposuction stations throughout the country where people can can lose their unwanted fat for a small fee. We believe this is a renewable source as most Americans will continue to overeat.

We predict that by the year 2050 The United states will completely eliminate its dependency on foreign oil."

The Sutter Bio-Fuel Corporation is awaiting approval of their environmental impact studies by the Environmental Protection Agency.

Five 100% obese people will supply enough fuel to drive the average SUV from Yuba City, California to Miami, Florida.