| fine art by irina-garmashova |
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The name of my garden could be 'Where Lizards Go to Die' since the accidental mortality rate here is greatly exasperated
by myself. Whether it's because they crawl into a garden spigot and get squirted out the other end under extreme water pressure
(I know - elyucko), dehydrate after climbing into or onto something that becomes a lizard trap or get eaten by the cats, snakes
and Cuban tree frogs. They even sometimes get squished under the bird bath bowl.
Yet they journey to the garden like pilgrims to Mecca. Perhaps that explains it.
Nevertheless, there exists a more insidious reason my garden is feared by humans and lizards alike. But, more on that
later. Here are some pretty baubles to lure you in. (whoops, did I say that out loud?)
First is a slide show of blooms.
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What you see pictured to the right is my attempt at a cheap gazing ball imitation. After my neighbor threw out the plastic
resin gazing ball stand, I nabbed it and decided that I could take one of those bouncy balls from Walmart and adhere it to
the stand. To make it shiny and appear like glass, I figured spray-on lacquer would do the job.
The ball was sticky from the resin, so I set it near some plants on the patio to dry.
Two days later I checked it and was dismayed to find dead lizards pasted to the surface of the still-sticky ball. I deduced
that they jumped from a nearby plant to land on the sphere which had reacted with the resin to form a lizard glue trap.
For some reason I don't recall, I thought maybe if I my creation in direct sunlight it would dry so I set it next to the
fence line and left it.
The next day I discovered a poor lizard still alive on the surface. So I sloowly peeled him off like a band-aid and feeling
very much ashamed of myself, let him go.
Now I just try to trap humans with it.
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Ever since my years in the Coast Guard, I have collected blue and green glass, I like the spherical forms but I branched out
to other pieces to be used in the garden alongside my garden rats. This slide show consists of 50 photos, but it's well worth
the view IMHO. Plus, it takes less time to load.
I have gotten numerous donated pieces from friends as bribes to avoid the compost heap. (story below) Which just gives
me incentive to keep the Death Garden alive. FOOLS!!! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I am a lucid dreamer and I have recurring dreams. One particular one is that I had murdered some person/s from my past (who
shall remain nameless) and buried them in the backyard of one of the many homes I have resided in.
The scenario varies, but it boils down to the bodies are about to be discovered for some mundane reason.
I never told anyone about the dream but I always had this suspicion that perhaps I really DID do it and I have just blocked
the memory because it felt so real.
A few years back I had the dream and the next day on CNN was a story about Kansas house where bodies had been discovered
buried in the backyard. (I'm from Kansas).
My overactive imagination posted this story on the forum I frequent. Because I had already talked about my garden and
my very large compost pile, it became a Zoo-legend that I have such beautiful plants because of a 'secret' ingredient.
Then I posted pictures of my pods and now no one will come visit me.
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