Jesse's Romance Test

                           o    Is your head shaved?
                           o    Do you have delusions that your really Klingon?
                           o    Consume human blood?
                           o    Are you pierced in places other than your ears?
                           o    Do you have any tattoos?
                           o    Do you have a felony conviction?
                           o    Do you belong or did belong to a group that advocates overthrowing
                                the U.S. government?
                           o    Have you visited Cuba, North Korea or Iraq in the last year?
                           o    Are you a registered agent for a foreign government?
                           o    Were you released from any mental health institution?
                           o    Are you under psychiatric care right now?
                           o    Were you born a female? Come on guys, makeup, clothes and plastic
                                surgery don't cut it.
                           o    Do you have one and only one personality? If not each personality must
                                complete a separate questionaire.
                           o    If you have multiple personalities, does any personality stalk anothe
                                personality?
                           o    Are any two or more of your personalities dating each other?
                           o    Are you a Wicca/Pagan believer, cult member or priestest?
                           o    Do you have red hair? No peeking at the bottle.
                           o    Do you have blonde hair? No peeking at the bottle.
                           o    Do you have brunette hair? No peeking at the bottle.
                           o    Can you swim?
                           o    Have you ever had a date with Martina Navratalova?
                           o    Do you belong to a witch coven?
                           o    Are you a vampire?
                           o    Are you a veteran of the Sexual Revolution?
                           
                           Have you ever, at any time in your life.
                           o    Been a Cheerleader?
                           o    Belonged to a sorority
                           o    Done professional work as a model?
                           o    Done professional work as an actress?

                           
                           Controlled Substances
                           o    Do you use Prozac?
                           o    Do you use Marijuana, but only if you inhaled?
                           o    Do you use Caffine? Intravenous caffine feeds DO NOT count.
                           o    Do you like/use Chocolate?
                           
                           Encounters with Extraterrestrial Aliens
                           o    If you are a nonhuman Extra Terrestrial let's just forget the whole thing.
                           o    If you are a Human Extra Terrestrial, we can talk.
                           
                           Abductions
                           o    Were you ever kidnapped/abducted by a UFO?
                           o    Were you ever kidnapped/abducted by the CIA?
                                (Kidnappings and abductions by the FBI don't count.)
                                Were any of the people listed below in the kidnapping/abduction party?
                                o    Pee Wee Herman
                                o    Lee Majors
                                o    Elvis Presly
                                o    Cary Grant
                           o    Have you ever dated outside the human species?
                           
                           Have you ever, at any time had
                           o    Puppy love
                           o    A crush
                           o    A broken heart
                           o    Unrequited love
                           o    Toxic Chocolate Shock
                           o    Toxic Garlic Shock