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The creature that claims to be Michael Jackson.
[ click pic ]
Michael Jackson Jokes
Q.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue.
Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing”.
Q. How do you know Michael Jackson is having a
party?
A. There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his house.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Detroit Tigers
have in common?
A: They both wear one glove for no apparent reason.
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off!
Q. What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
A.
Michael Jackson has had more noses.
Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
A. They both ride
three year olds.
Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's
makeup.
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is plastic and harmful to children,
the other is used to carry groceries.
Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson decide to have a boy of his own?
A. Because it's too expensive to rent them at $2 million
a pop!
Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 44 year old meat between 10 year
old buns!
Q: What's black on the inside, white on the outside, and comes in little cans?
A: Michael Jackson!
Q.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor?
A. One got burnt doing Pepsi, the other got burnt doing
coke.
Q: What was the foundation that Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor started?
A: The Ignited Negro College
Fund!
Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson?
A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!!
Q. What does
Michael Jackson reminisce about?
A. Blowing his first nose.
Q. Who is the greatest person ever?
A. Michael
Jackson - he was born a poor black boy in Gary, Indiana and grew up to become a rich white woman in Europe.
Q. What
did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?
A. "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black
guy!"
Q. What did Lisa-Marie Presley say to Michael Jackson when he proposed?
A. "Yes, I'll marry you. But promise
me one thing -- no kids!"
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
A. About two
dress sizes.
Q. What was Michael Jackson thinking on his wedding night?
A. "Now Lisa-Marie can give me a little
boy of my own."
Q. What were Lisa-Marie's newlywed complaints about Michael Jackson?
A1. He leaves the lid off
the mascara, causing it to dry out.
A2. That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she comes over.
A3. She suspects
he's using her to get to Elvis' bones.
A4. He touches her kids more than he touches her.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson
cross the road?
A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd join in.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a
phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q. How did Michael Jackson get in trouble?
A. He was feeling a little Randy.
Q.
Why does Michael Jackson like children so much?
A. He knows how they feel.
Q. What did Michael Jackson say when
he got back to Neverland Ranch from drug rehab?
A. You know, I feel like a new boy!
Q. How do we know Michael
Jackson is guilty?
A. Several children have fingered him.
Q. Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date?
A.
Boys 'R Us.
Q. Why is Michael Jackson so tough?
A. He can lick any kid on the block.
Knock Knock! Who's
There?
Little boy blue! Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson!
Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 cub scouts
when it hit an iceberg and started to sink. The captain announced, "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"
Michael Jackson
asked, "What about the children?"
The captain replied, "Screw the children!"
Michael Jackson looked around eagerly
and said, "Do we have time?"
A little boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God a male or a female?"
After thinking
for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, God is both a male and a female."
This confuses the little boy, so he asks,
"Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding
and he triumphantly asks,
"Is Michael Jackson God?"
Michael Jackson asked his wife's doctor how soon after the
birth could he have sex.
The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at least 12 or 13 years old.
Did
you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
People get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
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