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Remember our very own 1980-1999 LA icon English Frank? Remember his benefit at 0-1. Remember the scandal at his wake; with Gary Leonard trying to take a coffin picture for profit, and everyone chasing his son down that street? Remember his funeral...Remember all the benefits English Frank threw for his friends in need? All the promotions he did, all the bands he helped? Frank used his family's money to promote Motorhead because he believed in Lemmy and the boys, that's what a great man he was inside. No matter how you fought, he was always your friend in time of need. Remember those glasses, his favorite red pants, and jean vest. Remember how he loved to quack like a duck. Remember how you saw people you had not seen in years at his get togethers? Remember his New Year shows; remember that club in Chinatown? Remember how drunk he would get sometimes, yet be totally functional. Remember his best friend and ours, Michael Morrison-he is in Australia and we miss him. English Frank's 5 year anniversary of his passing is coming up. I picture him hangin' out with his main heaven bud, El Duce, watching us like a never ending HBO series! Frank hung around and got involved, whether you wanted him to or not. Remember Gazzarie's? It was torn down and rebuilt as the Key Club, and Frank helped build the stage, one of many stages he built around town. Frank was a master carpenter, and his spirit remains alive all over this town. English Frank remains alive in our hearts, and much alive in our memories. A special event is being planned for him very soon, we will keep you posted. Frank never left us, he just went to another state of club where smoking is allowed and drinks are on the house!

Once upon a time, dead bands/musicians were honored by forming the traditional tribute band-not anymore! The first real tribute band hit the scene in 1980. Hailing from Long Beach, I can't remember the actual name of the band, but I think the leader was Michael White. Could have been The White. Then came Purple Haze, a Hendrix tribute band started by my friend and surf shop owner Ray Spitzer, at least I think that was his name. Gee, I'd better not toke so much! What can you remember about, other than partying, 24 years ago? Oh yeah-so then came the first official "clone" tribute band-The Rolling Clones. Although I never actually saw them, I did meet with Mic about doing promotion for them. All I remember is that another member came home with his girlfriend, went upstairs, and began to fk. I didn't care, really, except for the fact that they were both moaning so loudly-you would have thought that they were shooting a porn! So Mic and I were shouting at each other. I couldn't hear him, so we decided to meet another time. I never heard from Mic again! Since then, cloning bands have been popping up everywhere, which makes me wonder what has really happend to not only the music, but the LA music scene and originality. All the songs of today can be traced to it's original mother of years ago. These people wrote their own songs without 'sampling', they had nothing to sample from. I just would like to see us using our creativity more, that's all.

And while we are on the subject of mamas-before Quiet Riot and their version of Cum On Feel The Noise, there was SLADE, who actually gave birth to that song and many more remade songs. Slade has released The Ultimate Flashback, featuring Cum On and many others before your time, which spawned many covers, many times over!

And yes, that is Casey Kasem voicing over, tooting St. Joseph Aspirin. Although childless, Jean Kasem designs extravegant baby cribs, and "adult cribs too"-what? What if I wanted an S&M theme? And "adult cribs"? Last time I looked, crib is a pad, unless it's in a dungeon, then it's a crib, Jean.

Beware-WickedGoogleMonsterThisWay Cometh! Google wants to give you something, and without you knowing it, it wants to take your privacy away. Talk about selling your soul to the devil! Google will be offering free, no-nonsense email service. As not a thing is ever really free; Google will be reading your emails, then according to the context of your mail, will spam you with banners and junk. Making the almighty profit from your privacy-isn't that just like today!

Wherehouse Records are closing like a spreading wild fire-why? It's the computer age baby. Just like a page from a Ray Bradbry novel, machines have really taken over the world-and mankind has programmed them to do so. Remember that Twilight Zone episode where the computer fell in love with the scientist? Growing up, those hippies always told me that the 666 anti-christ is actually the US Government computer-as a kid, what were you always told?

So I saw Babs on the news talking about the fundraiser she is throwing for Kerry. It will be an invite only-open house, which means she may or may not invite You to give Kerry Your Money! What's for dinner? what, no dinner? You mean I gatta pay not to eat-and listen to a boring political speech? See what too much money, too much time on your hands, and having too many orgasms can make you do! People-using people- are the happiest people! Kerry Kerry, Quite Contrary, How does your campaign funds grow? Will Jello Biafra be invited to go?-I will gladly pay to see that confrontation!

And speaking of...The Dead Kennedy's have a new release-Live At The Deaf Club. Includes unreleased recordings from 1979, in San Francisco. Includes a never before heard DK song Gaslight, plus, in the spirit of Jello, "an 8 page booklet of brand new art!" The CD is released on Manifistos Records.

Moving on-So what the hell has happened to Us? What, are we hexed by the Great 1980's Curse Of Hollywood, or what? It seems hardly any of us accomplished our dreams, and too many of us died because of it. Our 'normal' friends, leading low key lives, seem to stay married and stay alive. So how come, if we are the creative minds, are we not truly happy? I worry about several people I know, I have to, just look at our history! Fk '13', we blow any movie away with our reality. Be nice to your peeps, you never know exactly when someone you know will die.

No-it's not PMS! Blame it all on the rain, with a little disgust and heartbreak on the side. Don't forget the un-fulfillment, which seems to be well-done and served on a hot plate lately.

Hollywood devours another of its young-Another end of an era: Freedom Guitar is closing its doors after 34 years of Hell-A service. Home away from home to Randy Rhodes, Buck Owens, Bob Dylan,Neil Young, Joe Walsh, even Zakk Wylde since 1972, will pull the official plug on May 31, 2004. Yet another victim of rent increase, combined with a bad Cali economy and a sorry-ass music industry. Store savings of up to 80%. We have had so many 'end of an era', do we even have an LA era left to end?

Mercury is in retrograde until the end of the month-but add another week for it to be fully direct. So life will return to normal about the second week of May, just in time for better weather, and those inflated, god-awful, festival seating with warped sound, outdoor concerts we keep being subjected to, out in burning hell, miles from any real civilized county! Remember when you could smoke in clubs, it certainly helped block the b.o. fumes from all the sweat in the air - of course never from us girls because girls wear deodorant and smell good........

*Our very own Fishbone Norwood Fisher returns with his all star line-up Trulio Disgracias. One of the best shows I have ever attended-look for them, and catch it, cuz it would be truly disgraceful if you miss it!

*Check out the self-proclaimed "CBGB of SoCal" club-The Anarchy Library in Downey.

*Punk Rock Karaoke is back and at The Parlour Club- tons better than American Idol !

*Buddy Childers began playing the trumpet when he was just a tot. He also became a composer, having played with big band legends including Woody Herman and Tommy Dorsey. Watch for him and take a Granny, for a true blast from Granny's past!

*Was it 40 years ago today? The Beatles In America 1964-1965 US Tour retrospect at Museum Of Television & Radio, through May 2.

*The Last Picture Show-Artists Using Photography 1960-1982 featuring Andy Warhol along with 57 artists @ UCLA Hammer Museum through May 9.

*New York 1940-1960's, photo exibition by Louis Faurer @ Stephan Cohen Gallery through May 8.

*David Bunn: Subliminal Messages-discarded Central Library card-Catalog Project @ Angles Gallery thru May 1-strange but very inviting, or perhaps it's just me!

*From the makers of Endless Summer-director Dana Brown has delivered yet another surf flick, Step Into Liquid. He will be appearing 7pm Tuesday, 4/20 at Tower Records, Long Beach, hosting a DVD signing.

*Rhythm Drum Jam Circle @ Remo Drums Recreational Center, N. Hollywood. 6:30-8pm-it's free, so go on and jam with the circle!

*Laughing Matters Luncheon featuring Valerie Harper, Henry Winkler, Nancy Dussault, and many others @ Regent Beverly Wilshire. Gee-Rhoda and The Fonz, Ayyyyeee-Ma!

*The Wal-Martization Of America: Occidental College politics professor Dr. Peter Dreier speaks of "The effects that Wall-Mart, the store spawned by SATAN, has on the choices Americans make..." @ Marymount College Auditorium, Rancho PV. It's Satin baby!

*Fantomas featuring Mike Patton @ Henry Ford Theatre, but which Mike Patton-Faith No More, or Annette's?

*Conrad Janis and the Beverly Hills Unlisted Jazz Band @ Lunaria-I have their original album-and they haven't changed a bit, great as ever!

*Those old Dante Fox dudes Great White @ Ventura Theatre. An Italian record label has released Burning House Of Love, without their consent, it's KARMA, babys.

*War, Shadows, and the Night Stalker: A Conversation With Dan Curtis. The producer/director behind Dark Shadows, The Wind Of War....gives you such a lecture @ The Museum Of Television & Radio. Vampires in a mansion on a soap opera- baby!

**Live From Death Row: Tookie Williams. LA Crips Gang founder Stan 'Tookie' Williams has been a death row inmate for 22 years. He has recently been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for his children's books, stressing non-violence. Tookie will talk by speakerphone about racism, and injustice of the death penalty @ The Holman United Methodist Church, LA. We lost Toupac and Biggie Smalls, and countless others, can't we really get along?

*The Midnight At The Oasis girl from your past Maria Muldar @ Mc Cabes, SM. Put your camel to bed, and catch her retro show.

*Bad Company's Paul Rodgers @ Fender Center for the performing Arts, Corona. Bad Co, I can't deny, bad company, till the day I die!

*Hookers & Blow, a night of Guns & Roses featuring GNR Dizzy Reed, members of Bang Tango, and then some @ Paladinos.

*Our favorite duo boyz are back, together, in this town- General Public @ The Malibu Inn.

*Mr. The Smiths Morrissey, @ The Wiltern Theatre-And If A Ten Ton Truck...

*From the heart of the 50's, don't miss Keely Smith singing Sinatra @ Cinegrill, till May 1st.

Keely Smith leans against Louis Prima while they sing into a Columbia Records microphone, 1950s.

*Mr. The Smiths Morrissey, @ The Wiltern Theatre-To Die By Your Side, Oh, The Pleasure, The Privilege Is his!

*Mac Africa - today's queen of LA clubs promotions. From A to Z, you wanna be on her list! MacAfrica1@earthlink.net