8 Emphasize important information
Put the most important information at the top of your paragraph or section and highlight it. Lists are an excellent device to highlight important information and commands. If certain actions or events must be performed in a particular sequence, list the steps in numerical order. Less important information belongs in a secondary position.
The following two examples illustrate this technique:
FIRST EXAMPLE:
Original Text (adapted from an operator's manual for a machine)
CHAPTER 3
Chapter 3 provides an introduction to the main principles of operation. It is conceived to provide an operator with sufficient background and theoretical information that can be followed in operating the equipment after installing it. A short discussion about how this equipment compares to other types of similar equipment is also offered. This chapter should be reviewed by the operator before starting the equipment.
Improved Text
CHAPTER 3
Important: Read and understand the information in Chapter 3 before you start the equipment!
Chapter 3 teaches you how to operate the equipment safely and correctly. It explains the principles of operation in detail. It also compares the operation of this equipment to other similar types of equipment.
[Editor's comment: In the original text of the first example, the key point is that the operator must review the information in Chapter 3 before starting the equipment. But poor writing buried this important point at the end of the paragraph, behind much less important information. The operator might in fact skip Chapter 3, believing it is not important to him!]
SECOND EXAMPLE:
Original Text (adapted from an operator's manual for a machine)
Prior to making the connection to the power supply, the safety switch must be on "SAFE", and the control panel barrier should be in the correct position. Also check the grounding.
Improved Text
DO THIS before you connect the power supply:
• Turn on the safety switch to the SAFE position
• Lock the barrier of the control panel
• Verify that the ground or ground wire is connected. (Note: the ground or ground wire is sometimes called an earth.)
[Editor's comment: In the original text of the second example, important information is presented in a vague and indirect manner. Re-phasing these vague statements into commands will produce better results.
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