6 Use the active voice and positive words
Use the active voice to give directions and to assign responsibilities. The active voice is ideal for giving commands because the subject of the sentence is usually the person or agency that performs the action.
Whenever possible, use positive words to prescribe or describe actions and duties. The passive voice, negative words, and negative sentence constructions can easily confuse readers because the meaning of passive, negative phasing is often vague.
Compare the original text to the improved text in the example below:
Original Text (adapted from an operator's manual for machinery)
Instructions for the Operator
The [machine] should not be started by the operator until after the main valves have been opened.
Improved Text
Instructions for the Operator
WARNING: Do this BEFORE you start the [machine].
- Verify that the main valves are open.
- [add the other steps of the procedure here]
7 Be clear and concise
The definition of Alternative Power Source in the Original Text below is not clear -- even to readers whose native language is English; nor is it concise (one sentence of 45 words!). This style of writing is not only hard to understand, it can be easily misunderstood with bad consequences.
Compare the original text to the improved text in the example below:>
Original Text (adapted from the National Electrical Code, 1987 edition )
Alternative Power Source. One or more generator sets, or battery systems where permitted, intended to provide power during the interruption of the normal electrical services or the public utility electrical service intended to provide power during interruption of service normally provided by the generating facilities on the premises.
Improved Text
Alternative Power Source. A secondary source of electric power that delivers electric power when the normal supply of electric power fails. An Alternative Power Source may comprise (a) one or more sets of power generators, (b) a public utility electrical service, or (c) battery systems (if batteries are permitted).
Editor's comment: I tested the definition in the original text on several rather literate native speakers of English, all of whom had trouble understanding the meaning. Imagine the difficulty a nonnative speaker of English would have with it.
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