Well, this is it -- it's reorg day. Very strange here. People are mostly standing around talking. Every now and then someone will disappear into a manager's office, and then emerge to say their goodbyes and leave.
Disco Karen just left. OMG, I'm crying. I'm going to miss her terribly. She was my best friend at work.
I don't know what's going to happen to me. That's the worst thing about this. We've known this was coming for seventeen months now, and the associates have known exactly what was going to happen to them for six months. Heck, they got to choose where they went! But I'm in a different part of the company, and this reorg only affects me indirectly. I'm pretty sure I will still have a job, but I'm not positive.
And the hardest thing about not knowing is that I haven't done any kind of preparation. Everyone else, they've been looking for new jobs or looking for housing in the cities they're moving to or learning new job skills for their new positions. But me, I've been stuck doing the same thing I've always done. So today is hitting me really, really hard because it's like all of a sudden I'm realizing that yeah, everything is going to be different come Monday morning. It's a start of a new chapter in my working life. And I'm just not sure I'm ready for that.
When did I start using the word wonky and where did I pick it up from? Everything is wonky these days. Especially the Notes server, which (as usual) crashed late in the afternoon on a Thursday when I have somewhere to go after work. Grr. Argh.
Okay, truthfully, things are a lot better than they were. I was going to write a long blog about it today, but I was distracted in that I had to do some actual work, imagine that. So you may or may not get to hear the details of my incredibly soap opera-ish but still somehow dull life (said dullness excludes my fantabulous boyfriend. Definitely no dullness there).
Oh, and TsuKata, you elderberry-smelling daughter of a hamster, there's a few things I forgot to say on the phone last night, so I'll say them now: You are a shallow cowardly hind, and you lie. Thou infectious hasty-witted gudgeon! Thou mewling clay-brained lewdster! Thou loathed issue of thy father's loins! Thou stale old mouse eaten dry cheese! Thou wayward rump-fed mammet! Thou wimpled pottle-deep barnacle! Thou dissembling flap-mouthed miscreant!
I had a penny collection when I was a kid. When I moved into my condo I somehow misplaced my Indian Head pennies. I miss them terribly. Some of them were from the 1800's and probably quite valuable by now. I've searched everywhere for them but can't find them.
I like pennies, because they bring back lots of good memories. We skipped them across the surface of our pool, then had a contest to see who could pick up the most from the bottom on one dive. I used pennies to weigh down the posters in my bedroom so they hung straight. I used them to balance the needle on the record player. I received a roll of ten pennies from neighboors on Halloween. They were our poker chips when we played Tripoli. I even sometimes use them to pay for things.
There are some people who say we should get rid of the penny. Round everything to the nearest nickel. I'm very much against this. Prices would likely be raised, which would bring about an increase in inflation, and that leads to hardship and who wants that? Besides, pennies are just too damn cool to give up. I say we keep them. We're much better off with pennies in our life.
I had no words. None for the blog, none for my journal, none for chatting with my friends. They were stolen by tiredness and blankness and too many emotions.
Sometimes I get frustrated that I cannot speak. I read my old journals and remember when I had thoughts and opinions and things I cared about. That part of me is gone, hidden behind the wall of depression. I cannot think, I cannot speak. I can only feel and emote.
