I am not a good housekeeper--never have been. As a friend once told me, I am too creative and intelligent to have a clean house. Now, one of the features of my messy home is Mound Doom, the pile of dirty clothes in the bedroom. I only approach Mound Doom in desperation, and since I mostly wear dark colors, that's what I wash first. However, I only wear white socks. Which means I either dive into the skanky realms of Mound Doom for a pair of previously worn socks, or I buy a new pair. And since socks are predisposed to being single, I usually end up doing the latter.
This morning, though, I didn't need to buy new socks, as I washed a load of whites last night after my nap and thus had clean pairs. AND I did a little bit of straightening up, so I have not created any new messes in my house since the weekend.
Wearing clean socks must've renewed my defenses: I was able to thwart the Earl Collective for about an hour and a half this morning at work. I actually did my job. Wow.
Think I'll celebrate tonight at gaming by buying myself a new Magic deck.
It's a big blog. I can't wait to tell all my friends. They don't have a blog this big.
I was so tired today. Kept nodding off at my desk at work. Took a nap during lunch, which helped a bit, but not much. Came home and took a long nap on the couch -- almost two hours. I feel much, much better now.
Napping, though, meant I missed choir again. I haven't been back to choir since Christmas. I usually take a few weeks off after Christmas because I get so worn out, but this is the longest I've stayed away. I meant to go back tonight, but my body had other ideas. It was with guilty heart that I sat down in front of the computer to dial in... but wait, my line's beeping, I have a message! It wasa choirmate, telling me there was no practice tonight, so I didn't miss it! I immediately called her back and left her a message, apologizing for being away for so long and promising to come back next week. So one good thing happened today, yay!
Things to dull the pain
Here's a variety of things I found on the web to amuse me in my shattered state. Strange how most of them are suitable for teenagers. Well, you know what they say--you're only as old as you pretend to be.
You're a spoiled brat. You don't want a man, you want a dog, and Sam's just the Hobbit for you. Sure he may be a little clingy, but this professional sidekick will do ANYTHING for you. In fact, the only thing he wants more than to play slave to your master is to molest Frodo.
Well, I was hoping to get Frodo since I have a huge crush on Elijah Wood, but Sam's fine with me.
Speaking about Samwise Gamgee, he was recently the Boyfriend of the Week. Now why didn't I think of creating that site? I change my crushes nearly every week myself.
And speaking about crushes... remember MASH? (now, if that doesn't prove I've recessed into childhood, I don't know what does). My MASH results:
You live in a House. You're married to Elijah Wood. You drive a Prowler. Your car is the color silver. You live in the state Illinois. Your honeymoon is Disney World. Your occupation is a Librarian. You have this many kids: 1 (1 male; 0 female).
Hehe!
And then there's celebmatch, which tells me that I have 85% physical compatibility, 94% emotional, but only 4% intellectual compatibility with Elijah Wood. Okay, so our relationship will be purely physical... I can live with that.
Hey, Cassie Claire has announced that she's opening a Very Secret Diary store in a few days! Soon we'll all be wearing Pervy Hobbit Fancier shirts, woohoo!
Okay, I think that's enough about Hobbits and the men who play them. I'm thinking my blog needs some sort of schtick, something that will keep people visiting every week. Oh, I'm sure my insane musings are fascinating, but it's not as good as having a schtick, like Cassie's VSDs, or the Boyfriend of the Week site, or Eric Conveys an Emotion. I need some sort of theme, I think... hmmm... gotta think about that.
I've suffered from depression most of my life; I'm used to it. But I will never understand it. I don't understand how my sister can get up in the morning as soon as her alarm rings, while I hit the snooze for an hour. I don't understand how my coworkers can do their job calling customers, even if they're in a bad mood, while all I can do is sit and stare at my computer. I don't understand how others can live life fully while I can barely exist. How do they do it? Why can't I?
If you ask me how I'm doing, I'll say "Just fine". Most of the time I mean it. Even now, when I know the depression has flared up again, I don't really feel melancholy or sad. I don't feel upset. I like life; I feel happy. There are things to smile about, like my nephew and my friends and my hobbies. But I wonder if it's all a big lie. Am I really happy, or am I deluding myself that I'm happy just so I don't have to feel bad? What is the truth, the depression or the happiness? Which is really me? Or am I neither, but someone totally different, someone who I haven't discovered yet?
I am sitting here repeatedly eek-ing with extreme happiness! The past few days have been really, really good. I got a hug from my nephew who is only two and completely adorable. My house is two-thirds clean. Had a friend over on Sunday; we went on a photo-shooting tromp on the trails near me, watched some Buffy, had some Chinese, and she gave me tons of LOTR cards! She's deeply in crush right now and it's so much fun to gossip about the guy. I only had to work for a few hours this morning so I had the afternoon off, yay! And then I log online and find out that not only did a friend of mine get kissed for the first time this weekend, but Script Shack has the Lord of the Rings script! WHEE! I am a script junkie so I immediately whipped out my credit card and ordered it. I am so excited! But what really makes this a great day is that a friend who has long been silent has spoken again. It's so good to hear from her.
Big ol' smile on my face right now. I'm so happy that I've been able to spend time with my friends lately. And I'm happy that my friends are happy! Why can't every day be just this good? (yeah, still singing Travis Tritt songs)
Now, one of the features of my messy home is Mound Doom, the pile of dirty clothes in the bedroom. I only approach Mound Doom in desperation, and since I mostly wear dark colors, that's what I wash first. However, I only wear white socks. Which means I either dive into the skanky realms of Mound Doom for a pair of previously worn socks, or I buy a new pair. And since socks are predisposed to being single, I usually end up doing the latter.
