Title: No Fuss Author/pseudonym: Holly Lyn Email address: wynnel@earthlink.net Rating: (G, PG, PG-13, NC-17): G Status: (NEW/REPOST; in progress or complete): NEW Date: January 4, 1998 Archive: (YES/NO): YES Archive author: same Archive email address: same Series/Sequel: none Disclaimers: The characters of Blair Sandburg and Jim Ellison do not belong to me <*sigh*> but they *do* belong to Pet Fly Productions and UPN. I promise to return them in good condition after I'm finished playing with them. No infringement is intended, this is all in good clean fun. Please don't sue me. I only have $1.60 left each month after paying my bills so it really wouldn't be worth anyone's time ;=). Notes: This is an unadulterated wallow. It was written purely so I could straighten a few things out in my own head and writing helps me do that! Apologies to anyone who does not like this. Feedback is welcome. <> indicates thoughts. Summary: Jim finds out that Blair has not told him about his birthday. Warnings: Any and all mistakes belong to the author but the story was sort of beta'd. Smarm and angst abound. Kleenex may be required (or alternatively a barf bag ). No Fuss by: Holly Lyn December 17th Cascade, WA Detective James Ellison knew even before he opened the door to his loft that his roommate was not inside. He'd been scanning for the younger man's vital signs as he climbed the stairs. He did a quick search of the downstairs area anyway just to be certain before he slumped on the sofa and rubbed his hands over his face. Even the beautiful Christmas decorations the grad student had cajoled him into putting up weren't enough to erase the overall feeling of fatigue that was dragging at him. After spending his day running around like a maniac all because of Blair Sandburg, Ellison wasn't sure if he wanted to shake his Guide until his teeth rattled or gather him in his arms and hug the stuffing out of him until the younger man told him why he'd let such an important fact as his birthday go unnoticed. If it hadn't been for a chance encounter with Trish down in the Human Resources Department..... "Detective Ellison!" the perky blonde behind the counter called out. "Is Blair coming in with you today?" "Um, I don't think so, Trish. He left before I got up this morning and yesterday he said something about posting grades before the Christmas break. Do you need him to fill out some paperwork or something?" he walked over to the counter just in case he needed to pick up some forms for Blair. A blush started from the neck of the young woman's red and white turtle neck sweater and traveled up to the roots of her immaculately styled hair. "I was just hoping to see him so I could give him this," she responded and held out an envelope. "Could you give it to him for me?" "No problem," Ellison smiled and tucked the envelope into his jacket pocket. "I'll see that he gets it as soon as he gets home." "Thanks, Detective," Trish ducked her head and carried a pile of papers back to the file room. Jim continued up to Major Crimes with a grin on his face. Sandburg had more than half of the unmarried female staff wrapped around his little finger and Trish was no exception. The card was probably an invitation to dinner or a holiday party or some such other romantic enticement. There was a crackle from his pocket when Jim took his jacket off to hang it up behind his desk and he pulled the envelope out to make sure he hadn't wrinkled it too badly. 'Happy Birthday, Blair' in Trish's loopy handwriting practically leapt off the robin's egg blue cardstock at him. Jim gaped at the envelope as though he could wring the answer from it with his intense stare. True they'd only been partners for a few months -- and roommates even less than that -- but they'd been through some pretty traumatic adventures which had drawn them closer than Jim would have thought possible given their diverse backgrounds. The David Lash incident was still fresh in Ellison's mind and it pained Jim to think that Blair hadn't bothered to tell his Blessed Protector that such a special occasion was at hand. Jim had sat up with the anthropologist through a week of violent nightmares, holding him while he calmed down, making soothing cups of herb tea to help him get back to sleep, watching the dark circles and lines of strain finally fade from the youthful face. It hurt to think that Blair didn't want Jim to share in something happy for a change. The detective slid the card back into his jacket and approached Simon's office. He knocked on the door, "Can I have a moment, captain?" Exasperation flitted briefly across Simon's face until he noted the concern etched on Ellison's features, "Sure. Come on in, Jim. Coffee?" he offered the pot sitting on the warmer behind him. "Ah, no thanks, sir. Maybe later." Jim sat stiffly in one of the empty chairs in front of his superior's desk. Simon frowned. "What's up, Jim?" Ellison squirmed a little in his seat. "Did you know today was Sandburg's birthday?" "No," Simon shook his head. "Is that why he's not here? He out celebrating already?" "I don't know, sir. I haven't seen him since last night and he didn't mention anything to me about today being his birthday. I wouldn't have even known if Trish down in HR hadn't handed me a card to give to him." "Maybe he had a reason for not telling you," Simon tried to rationalize Sandburg's behavior. "I suppose," Ellison said grudgingly. "All the same ..... would you mind if I took today as a personal day? I'd like to do something for him and I may need some time to set things up. How do you think the guys would feel about attending a surprise party this evening?" Surveying the occupants of the Major Crimes bull pen, Simon snorted, "Just give these guys the slightest provocation to behave like children why don't you?" "I'll call you and let you know the details when I get things sorted out." Jim stood up and moved towards the doorway. "Thank you, sir," he grinned and left quickly to begin his search for the perfect gift to thank his Guide for all of his help ..... Everything was all set. All Jim needed was to find Blair and somehow coax him out for a celebratory dinner without tipping his hand about the party. He'd gotten in touch with an old buddy who ran one of the best Italian restaurants in the city and managed to secure the back room for the festivities. As soon as the rest of the motley crew from Major Crimes had heard about Blair's birthday, everyone had chipped in to help pay not only for the room, but also for food and drinks for a hungry bunch of cops. The present had even turned out to be an easy acquisition. Jim had been walking past the Future Shop when a sign had caught his eye. 'Increase your download speed with a new 56.6 modem'. Blair had been grousing during the past week about the amount of time he was spending on line visiting some of the more complex anthropology related web sites because his current 14.4 modem wasn't designed to comfortably handle the size of files he was downloading. A chat with the manager of the store had convinced Jim that the 56.6 modem card would be a great gift for someone who spent as much time working on the computer as his partner did. The present was now hidden under the seat of Jim's F150 and all Ellison had to do was wait for the grad student to show up -- hopefully before the rest of the guys devoured all of the food and left only cake and ice cream for the birthday boy. Jim headed towards the bathroom and stopped at the sight of Blair's backpack sitting on the foot of his bed. He *had* been home at some point during the day. A plain white card had fallen to the floor and was sticking out from under the bed. Jim bent down to retrieve it and felt the shock course through him for a second time. The card was from Sandburg's mother and had a picture of a tiny puppy with soulful eyes on the front. Inside there was no verse, just Naomi's familiar scrawl 'Have a nice day sweetie, Naomi'. No loving birthday sentiments from a mother to her son; no indication at all that today was special in any way to the recipient of the card. A quick look inside the backpack revealed Blair's wallet and car keys. He couldn't have gone too far. Not in the chill winter night. Ellison thought to himself, operating on pure instinct. That was where Blair had escaped to after the first of his Lash-induced nightmares. He had felt totally humiliated waking up screaming and crying in Jim's arms and had bolted from the loft at breakneck speed. After heading upstairs, he'd spent the better part of an hour freezing his butt off until Jim managed to tempt him back inside with the promise of a hot mug of his favorite herbal tea mixture. Jim grabbed the card Trish had given him earlier and headed up to the roof. He could use the card as a reason to question the younger man about his odd behavior and if he played his cards right, Blair would willingly go along with him for a quiet birthday dinner -- just the two of them. Ellison extended his senses as he climbed the stairs leading to the roof and was relieved to hear the familiar heartbeat and breathing pattern; the chattering teeth that accompanied the other sounds was worrisome but Jim didn't think they'd be outside for too long once he got Blair to open up. Blair was sitting with his back against a wall, his knees were drawn up to his chin and his arms were wrapped around his legs. He was rocking slightly and shivering from the cold. Wide blue eyes were staring up at the clear winter sky as if he could find the answers to life, the universe and everything within the brilliance of the twinkling stars. Not wanting to startle the other man, Jim crouched a few feet away and cleared his throat softly. "You trying to turn yourself into the world's first human popsicle, Chief?" Jumping slightly, Blair acknowledged his friend, "Hey, Jim. You didn't need to come looking for me, man. I was gonna come down pretty soon. I just needed a little time to myself, you know?" Jim held out Trish's card so Blair could see her handwriting on the envelope. "Does this have anything to do with your sudden need to commune with mother nature?" Blair closed his eyes and swallowed but didn't answer the question. Jim decided to press the issue a little further, "Why didn't you tell me about your birthday, Chief? Did you think I wouldn't want to know about it?" Blair shrugged. "It's no big deal, man." "It's your birthday, Sandburg. Of course it's a big deal." "Not to me. It never has been," Blair tried his best to look like he believed what he was saying but his voice was tight with hurt and pain. "You should know better than to try to pull one over on me by now, Blair," Jim sighed. "Talk to me and tell me what's going on." "Why don't you believe that there's really nothing to tell? I already told you Naomi and I moved around a lot when I was little so we didn't really have a lot of time for silly celebrations. Even when we were actually settled during the holidays, everyone was so busy between Thanksgiving and Christmas that the birthday of a strange, too quiet hippie kid just got forgotten in the rush. I guess I just got kind of used to no muss, no fuss on a day that wasn't really any different from any other day of the year." Jim couldn't tell if Blair was aware of the tears sparkling on his eyelashes but just the sight of them glittering like diamonds in the starlight was enough to twist his heart strings. He crouched closer to his partner and draped an arm across his shoulders. "I think it's time to make a change here, Chief." "No. Jim, don't." Blair's half-hearted protest fell on deaf ears. "Let's get you inside and warmed up then you and I are going out to my friend Tony Giovanni's for dinner. My treat." Blair opened his mouth one more time but Jim silenced him by pulling him to his feet. "No arguments, Sandburg. We're going out to dinner and *you* are going to enjoy your birthday treat." "Okay," the grad student mumbled softly and allowed himself to be steered back into the heat of the building. As soon as Blair was safely ensconced in the warmth of a hot shower, Jim grabbed his cell phone and hit Simon's redial. He could hear the festivities in the background as his superior answered. "Hello, Simon, it's Jim." "Where are you and the guest of honor, Jim? You're missing quite a party here." "Uh, yeah. That's what I wanted to talk to you about, sir. This whole birthday thing has Blair pretty shook up already. I don't want to put a damper on anyone's spirits but do you think you and the rest could tone it down a little before we get there? He's not overly enthused about going to dinner with just me. A room full of screaming maniacs might be a bit more than he can handle." "I'll see what I can do, Jim, but you're going to have to tell me what this is all about someday." "As soon as I know for sure what's going on myself, sir." "That good, huh? Well, don't rush him. I'll make sure there's plenty of pizza and pasta left for both of you," Simon's gentle concern warmed Jim through the phone line. Jim grimaced as he heard the water cut off. "He's out of the shower, Simon, gotta run. See you shortly, I hope. If something else comes up I'll call." "You'll be here," Simon said with conviction and hung up. Jim loped up the stairs to change into slacks and a sweater, giving Blair time to get ready without feeling like he was being hovered over or pressured. When twenty more minutes passed and his young partner still hadn't come out of his room, Ellison began to worry. He stepped over to the curtained alcove that hid Blair's room and knocked on the door jamb. "You decent in there, Sandburg?" A sniff preceded a watery sounding chuckle and Blair said, "Depends on what you'd call decent, man," in a decidedly husky voice. Ellison pushed the curtain aside and moved into the room. Blair was sitting on his bed nicely dressed in a pair of new black jeans and a deep red turtleneck. The saline scent of fresh tears was in the air and Blair was fumbling with a damp Kleenex. "Okay, Chief, rule number one: no tears on your birthday. This is supposed to be a happy day for you, remember?" Blair stared at the floor but nodded his head slightly. "Rule number two: when I tell you I'm taking you out to dinner, I want to see you dressed and ready out in the living room, not hiding in here like I'm going to take you to your own gallows. So, tell me what's on your mind." Blair looked up blinking back unshed tears. "We're still going out?" A soft sigh escaped Jim's lips, "I told you we were. Did you think I changed my mind on you?" "Well, no. Not exactly," Blair hedged. "The thought occurred to me that you only said that to get me back inside, though." Jim sat down on the bed and turned Blair to face him, "You know me better than that, Blair. Is there something else about this birthday stuff you haven't told me?" When Blair swallowed and dropped his gaze back to the floor, Jim knew he'd struck a nerve. "Talk to me, Blair. I--I want you to have a nice birthday but everything I say or do seems to hurt you more. Please tell me what happened?" Jim asked softly and laid a sympathetic hand on his friend's shoulder. He could see Blair's inner defenses crumple in the face of his sincerity. Blair started picking nervously at the Kleenex in his hands as he spoke. "It was like I said earlier. I never got to celebrate my birthday when I was growing up but even worse than that was when I'd see other kids that we lived with having parties and getting all sorts of neat presents and stuff. Every year I'd hope that maybe that would be the year I'd get to see what all the fuss was about. "The year I turned thirteen we'd just joined a bunch of families living in this huge house not too far outside of Seattle. There was a kid who celebrated his ninth birthday just four days before mine and everyone was so into the occasion. He got to hunt for presents as soon as he woke up, got special meals all day, and he even got a huge party with his favorite cake and ice cream that evening. Naomi got drafted into helping to organize the festivities by the other adults and I couldn't help but hope that just maybe that would be the year my day would be special like other people." A lump was forming in Ellison's throat. He knew what was coming and as much as he didn't want Blair to relive the pain -- hell even *he* didn't want to go through it -- he was sure Blair would benefit from getting it out in the open. Blair took a couple of deep breaths and grabbed another Kleenex; the first was in little damp tatters all over his comforter. "It was a Saturday so no one had to get up early to go to work or school. Naomi woke me up at eight in the morning anyway to tell me that all of the adults were going in to the city for a day long Christmas shopping expedition and that I'd have to stay home and take care of the younger kids that lived there. Some special day it turned out to be. Three of the seven kids I was watching were sick and Josh, the kid who'd just had his birthday, led the other four in a reign of terror and destruction around the house." Tears had started again but Jim had no desire to put a stop to them. He watched Blair wipe his eyes and blow his nose and silently encouraged him to continue with a pat to his knee. "I finally got all of the little monsters to bed and had just started cleaning up the mess when Naomi and the others came home. I got into such trouble because of the mess. Everyone was yelling; it didn't seem to matter that I was cleaning it all up. I didn't even get the baby-sitting money I'd earned. When I finally finished cleaning the mess I went to talk to Naomi but she was with the others. They were all busy getting stoned so I just turned around and ran out of the house. I wound up at the farthest end of the property and spent the next few hours looking up at the stars and wondering why I wasn't special." Jim was rubbing Blair's shoulders now, trying to ease the knots of tension that had built up during his recitation. The tears had gradually dried and the grad student seemed calmer than when he'd started his tale. "So all of this today.....?" Ellison prompted. Blair swallowed a couple of times before he continued. "Naomi finally found me about one the next morning. I was frozen almost solid and didn't know it then but I'd caught a cold from one of the sick kids. I spent that Christmas in the hospital with pneumonia. I remember one night in the children's ward asking Naomi why no one had even bothered to wish me a happy birthday. She just smiled at me and said 'Why would they, sweetie? I didn't tell them about it'. God, it felt like someone kicked my teeth in. Ever since then, I don't tell people. I figure that if no one knows about it I won't get my hopes up just to be disappointed again." "Blair, I don't know what to say," Jim whispered roughly. "That is such a lousy thing to have happen to you -- to anyone. I can't even begin to imagine what it must've been like." He pulled the smaller man into a loose embrace and smiled when he felt Blair's arms encircle him in return. Patting Blair on the back, he eased away and said, "Why don't you go clean up again and we'll get going. I hear one of Tony's pizza specials calling my name." Blair's stomach growled loudly and a tiny chuckle escaped his lips. "Hope we don't have a problem getting in this late, man," he said as he crossed the hall to wash his hands and face. Jim dialed Simon one more time to let him know they were on their way and slipped Trish's card back in his jacket pocket as he grabbed both of their coats. Blair could open the card at the party. ~~~~~ As he parked the truck Jim's eyes drifted over the other vehicles in the parking lot. He recognized at least a dozen cars from the precinct garage and a huge smile broke out on his face. He toned it down and hid the gift under his coat as Blair joined him and they made their way through lightly falling snow to the entrance of the restaurant. Tony Giovanni met them inside. "Jimbo! Long time no see! Annie was beginning to think you'd given up on us!" "Tonio!" Jim replied. "How could I ever forget you or the fine food here. I've just been a tad busy lately. Tony, I'd like you to meet my partner, Blair Sandburg. Blair this is Tony Giovanni, the finest cook I ever had the pleasure to serve with in the military. This man's cooking could make the gods cry." Tony laughed, "Maybe from all the garlic and onions." Blair was grinning hugely, "Bring it on! I'm starving!" "Ah, a man after my own heart," Tony beamed and waved them towards the back of the room. "We're having a hectic night tonight but I should be able to squeeze you in the back room," he winked at Jim and ushered Blair along in front of them. Blair stopped dead on the threshold as he was confronted with over two dozen familiar faces from the precinct. "Jim?" he quavered softly and backed into the well-muscled chest behind him. "Happy Birthday, buddy," Jim answered and gave him a little push. As Jim continued to nudge Blair further into the room, Simon stood up and starting singing "Happy Birthday" to the stunned police observer. The rest of the room's occupants joined in and when Blair turned to stare at his partner he saw Tony and the restaurant's employees adding their voices to the increasing din. Jim's sensitive hearing picked up the sound of Blair's breath beginning to hitch in his chest and he leaned over to ask, "You okay, Chief?" Blair's eyes were huge and seemed very blue in the subdued lighting. He nodded and swallowed. "I'm trying real hard not to break rule number one here, big guy." Moving in even closer, Jim began to sing 'it's my party and I'll cry if I want to' softly enough so only Blair would hear. Laughter banished all traces of tears from Blair's face and he surveyed the room full of his friends with a huge smile on his face. "I----I don't know what to say. I am *totally* stunned here," he admitted. "Another reason to celebrate," Detective Henri Brown crowed, "Hairboy is speechless!" Simon took Blair's right arm while Jim grabbed his left to steer him to the seat of honor. "Come on, Sandburg," Simon urged. "Dig in. As soon as you finish your dinner you've got a mountain of presents to open." "Presents?" Blair's eyebrows climbed up to his hairline as Brown swept aside a section of table cloth to reveal brightly wrapped packages of all shapes and sizes hidden underneath on the floor. Jim got up and added his gift and Trish's card to the pile. "Don't eat too much dinner, Chief, there's cake and gelato ice cream for dessert." Blair's eyes were glistening again as his Sentinel sat back down next to him. "I don't understand, man. You didn't even know about the birthday thing until today. Did you?" "Let's just say I had a little help from our friends," Jim raised his glass of wine in a general salute to their co-workers. "Speech! Speech!" Brown yelled and the chant was taken up by the majority of the room. A rosy blush that was 10% embarrassment and 90% pleasure highlighted his cheekbones as Blair stood and raised his hands in surrender. "I -- ah -- don't quite know what to say here. Thank you just doesn't seem to be enough. But ...... thank you!" Blair sat to a round of applause and turned overly bright eyes to his partner. "Jim, there are no words. Thank you for making this so special." Throwing himself into Ellison's arms, Blair hugged him tightly and let go with gratitude shining on his face. "No sweat, Chief," Jim responded and turned to the task of making this a night no one would ever forget. ~~~Finis~~~