KAUAI News - 

Roadside church signs provide drive-by witticism

John Bohling leans against his holiday message to harried parents.

By Pamela V. Brown - Special to The Garden Island

KAPA‘A -- When John Bohling chooses a pithy saying to be displayed on his church's roadside sign each week, he looks for a witticism that will trigger thoughts about the more important things in life - and one that is only 12 to 15 words long.

For Bohling, Christian Education Director at the Kapaa Missionary Church, providing succinct reflections to passing motorists is a challenge and a calling that he relishes. He likes inserting a little contemplation into drive time that would often be filled with mindless thoughts. One of his favorites from signs past: "Don't write a check with your mouth that your body can't cash."

Bohling finds clever, concise advice in many places - on the Internet and in books such as "Your Church Sign" and "Signs for These Times" - and from a Kaua‘i readership that isn't shy about offering suggestions. Bohling says he's open to contributions but often they're too long to fit on the sign.

He's usually letter-perfect, but once after posting a misspelling, Bohling received several phone calls within an hour. "It made me feel good that at least people are looking at the sign," he said.

Until recently, Bohling displayed a different maxim on each side of his sign, causing inspiration-hungry northbound readers to crane their necks as they drove by to read the southbound phrase. The church's new pastor now uses one side of the sign to announce the next Sunday's service agenda.

Letting the public know service times was the primary reason All Saints Church in Kapa‘a recently set up their own curbside sign, said Pastor Liz Beasley. "We've had people come to church who discovered what our service time was by reading the sign," she said.

On the other side of the sign, Beasley said she often posts messages taken from Scripture. "We hope to have people get a sense of the Christian message - to think or be comforted," she said.

But nothing too long. "We try to keep it relatively short so people don't have a wreck when they're going by," she said.

At Kapa‘a Missionary, Bohling doesn't limit himself to religious messages - "I believe God is concerned about every aspect of our lives. We're not just having this sign for the holy people on this island," he said.

He's partial to sayings that remind people how their actions and words impact others. Such as another one of his favorites: "Don't sell your parrot to the town gossip."

Though the sign is a fun part of his job, Bohling also recognizes his opportunity to have an arm's - er, car's length influence on people.

"If I can get someone to laugh or recognize the truth, then I think I've contributed to the community in a positive way," he said. So remember: "Middle age is where your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places."