It was about six weeks of plotting, planning, designing, fabricating and a lifetime of training that prepared me for the challenge of the Shipyard Power Tool Drag Race. On Sunday, April 21, 2002, the noise ceased, the dust settled, the smoke cleared, the garage doors opened and I wheeled my creation, "1134 bent hEll" Skilsaw Dragster, over to Ace Auto Dismantlers to compete in the Super Stock class of the first Shipyard Power Tool Drag Race.

The Super Stock class, required the vehicle to be driven down a plywood track using the original power handtool drive and attachments directly contacting the track surface to propel the unmanned racer fifty feet to an exhilarating victory or tearful defeat. Whoo! ...this is gonna be fun!

It was another clear San Francisco Day at Ace Auto Dismantlers, perfect for drag racing. Pit reports indicated the tarmac was heating up nicely and the test runs on the newly built track proved there was gonna be some fast competition. Fourteen racers took the challenge and stepped forward with their rigs to battle it out for supremacy in the Super Stock class. Only fifty feet of track separated the racers from the checkered flag and each competitor was eyeing the $240 in cold hard cash that was up for grabs.

The tension was stiff, but the distractions were colorful. From the cotton candy, vodka sno-kones, beautiful cheerleaders, sexy flag girl/boy, table full of trophies, polished aluminum flame throwers spitting bursts of fire, classic rock hits blaring through the air and fantastic spectators doing the wave; there was something for everyone.

The racing was single eliminator leaving no room for error. Any mishap could make your machine lose the heat leaving you a spectator in the finals.

I was able to make one run during the track testing. The crowd roared as the Dragster cut a groove down the track leaving a fishtail of sawdust in it's wake, ending in a spectacular spin out and wide-eyed, open-mouthed gawks of astonishment and horror from the spectators at the finishing line. With a big grin on my face, I was confident with my design and ready for the elimination heats. Yeee-Haaawwww!

In my first heat I was pitted against a circular saw with a bunch of casters bolted to it's table. I had seen the tool run during testing and knew it was a capable machine. When the flag dropped, my finger pushed the button to the floor and the Dragsters blade hooked up solid and ripped down the track to an easy win. I won my first heat!

The Open Class Racer and One-rider Modified classes raced their elimination rounds, then the second heats of the Super Stock class were announced. I was paired with Ariel for a speed match. Her machine was a pretty much out of the box stock powersander that would hook up consistently and pull down the track leaving a fine cloud of dust billowing behind. During testing, her racer was the first to make it down the track with an intimidating rate of speed which made the crowd roar as we all began to see the potential and what we might see during the races. In her first elimination heat she left her competition at the starting line, literally, the other racer was so intimidated it fell apart and didn't even finish.

With our fingers on the buttons, like a lightning round of Jeopardy, our eyes were fixed on the starter flags raised in the air, ONE!... TWO!... THREE!... the flags dropped. I pushed that button like I never pushed before, but the saw blade was slipping letting Ariel take the lead. Suddenly the tool hooked up and the Dragster began to make up ground as it cut a groove into the track. At the finish, the Dragster's classic spin-out with an added twist and roll with chips of wood settling to the ground. It was a close race, but I was not fast enough. The track marshal signaled Ariel as the winner.

My racing day was over in my second heat, but some of the fans and racers congratulated me on constructing such a fine machine. I was also able to catch the eyes of the judges who awarded a trophy for most dangerous machine. One of the nuances of the Dragster was to surge as the sawblade teeth grabbed more solid wood in the track surface, giving spectators the feeling of eminent danger. Imagine this four foot long, 30 pound contraption of jagged whirring steel and aluminum hopping out of the confines of the track and running uncontrolled spinning, flipping and throwing sparks toward you with a little luck and a tire barrier being your only protectection.

It makes me realize I'm still alive whenever it made a run and that's pretty much what the Shipyard Power Tool Drag Race celebrates. See you next year.

Thanks Jim, Charlie, Bill, Ace Auto Dismantlers, The Shipyard and the rest of the crew and participants that helped put on such a fine event. As a friend, now living in Seattle said, "Events like this make me really miss San Francisco."

Wanna read more? Pick up the 4/24 issue of the SF Weekly and find the Night Crawler by Silke Tudor.