Hangi © Óðindís 1999

Song of Three Nights
by Duncan Smart

I was screaming, and the scream filled all the air and then froze And in its frozen time I lay slit open Watching myself from within myself And around me, within me, beyond me She was Knotting, sewing, staring, singing Her form slipped and twisted in my awareness Sometimes she was a young girl kicking up rainbows from bright water Sometimes she swam with the otter and her hair filled with gold Sometimes she was the slow breath within a rock Always she was older than time And her eyes never blinked or changed Fierceness without anger Determination without will She wove in me And into her weaving she sang spells "I teach you nothing All is within you I show you your shape Nothing more Do you dare to know your own shape? Do you dare to sing your own song? Do you dare to live?" My answer was a ripple under my opened skin A sob in my scream She went on. "One brings freedom Flight - ferocious life. When it flares in you You will transcend fear Its flame is the light by which you see You and no one else. "Two is a howl from the ooze Sap you suck up from your roots Cool, fluent, blue, It drags back, settles into lagoons, Drowning-moons. It is in your breath. "Three's strength thunders Sunders thought and form With the thump of a blow or the thud of a bomb The thickest fog thaws, Air's cleared, song glitters in its wake. "Four, my echo, you are the glass Focusing sunlight to fire A madness dancing in everlasting reflections An eye in a stare of an eye in a stare Sculpt wild light, wild thought Remember tomorrow Dream yesterday. "Five is a coil of rightness Writhing in your belly - Reaching into its red fronds You are renewed Rewritten in every shiver of Wyrd. "Six crackles and sparks In deepest dark Your keenest blade Keeps eyes awake Cat-like, seeking, sleek. "Seven is a dissolving gladness As a glamour vanishes Engulfed by a quenching heave As gardens forget their gates and fences Become a galaxy of sheer colour. "Eight whispers through the leaves Willow-boughs wafting over sweet water It is the wondering silence between the music and the applause Where Wyrd won you over to make your truth. Do you dare to know more?" No "no" was my "yes" Held by her eyes, I became my scream No longer knew myself from not-myself - Her deft thoughts Weaving being into becoming - Dispersed, I entered this intensity... "Grey is the first, heavy with what may be A haunted haar Lashed into a haze of becomings Thoughts play upon it as fingers on a harpstring Raw helix, it holds all happenings, all worlds. "Nerve's fire's the second, The inexorable burn Need-fever as now anew breeds now This blind one, so strong it knows no stealth Ignites to nurture Wyrd's web. "Between summer and winter outstretches the third, A peace-spear cast into mist The still centre, the storm's eye The freeze, the cease, a seed of form. Fetterer, shaper, white bones in red flesh. "Between summer and winter dances the fourth Thrilling to the year's pulse Propelled beyond, the eye turning outwards Yearns to fly arrow-swift or grow, silent as ivy, Into the new. "The fifth is the way beyond the dance The body, made still, feigns death Eyes closed, blindness fades Light of day was a deceit No near, no far, no time, no space... Free thought is faster than light. "The sixth is the universe in a raindrop A thrown ball caught before it flies The point made possible By spells it span itself A portal all see, but no one knows - Words will not reach it. You might. "The seventh bell has rung In the sky's deep blue vault Zero sound And a rain of silver sycamore seeds - Hope that one embeds in your skin, Thirst-for-life, Dew-drinker! A sky-spin the eighth, A dizzying swish, singing through senses, Shines with the sun, cuts with the scythe, Reshapes soul of all things - In the ash of its blast, new crystals, new harmonies. Do you dare to know more?" I sank back within my skin Felt my soul breathe Her needle hovered above me My scream surrounded it I lifted myself Impaled myself on it It shrieked in me I withstood. Else nothing. And at the point of the dread my scream and her voice were one. "One is the terror of utter truthfulness Not bravery, but the warrior's clarity As the sails are trimmed to embrace the hurricane Beauty was alone this alignment to Wyrd. "Two bare feet buried in loam. Listen. Hoping - nothing. Knowing - nothing. Flesh, brain - as if glass. Hair - winterfronds. Skin - bark. A new blossom blooms into the blood At the season's voice, to the warrior who dares to wait. "Three is a daring leap into certain death Surrender to necessity, trusting only Swelling breath in the nerves A twin's reflected eye - Alive to now, the warrior wakes - There was zero knit to infinity. Fare far, fare well. "Four is the might of matter's remaking Meteoric inspiration giving speech to the mouth Inherited beam, an ascent to wisdom - The warrior never lets it be master, but always be free. "Five is lissom, liquid life The third well, whose roar is silent Time and space wallow in its magnetic lag - As river to ocean is warrior to this invisible vastness. "Six is the all-nourished green lord Springing into being as the vortex whirls Warrior's warrior, waxes and wanes With each breath, each day, each year, each life Dancing, sensing, singing, dying, Vessel which transforms and is transformed. "Seven is always. In dreams. At dewfall, consciousness condenses Food for the dark warrior - Day is now! Made of all times, all deeds. "Eight is home The known unknown Where the far-sown grows The rose in snow, the last completion The ever-repeating moment Of the warrior's death and rebirth." My scream unfroze and faded Her touch sealed my last wound - Scarless, I floated in space - She dissolved around me and melted into me The last words like memories Unheard Flowering in my bones... "Now you know Your pattern is revealed But do not think that what you know is true You have a lifetime to live your truth Use it well. Find the life in the words, dare to unknow them Then you will be a "warrior" Then you will live what "warrior" means Then you will sing what "warrior" means Wordless."

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