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Friday, December 26, 2003

Lorem ipsum
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
10:36 am cst

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Okay, if I tempted you, I apologize. I just had to know for sure what kind of person you are. It's not the door. It's not the chocolate. Well... maybe it is the chocolate to some extent, but let's not talk about that now. It's the true meaning of Christmas.
I hope that you and yours had a splendid Christmas. Advent is the season of anticipation. Today, the waiting is over. A blessed Christmas to you all.
8:37 pm cst

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Go for it
Go ahead. Open that last little door. Who would know? You could just close it up again and no one would be the wiser. You've been patient. You've waited 24 days for this. But now you're so close. You've been dreaming of this moment. It's on your mind all the time. It's driving you insane. Sure, patience is a virtue, but we're talking Christmas here. The final door. Open it, I say. Open it!
Merry Christmas!
8:58 am cst

Monday, December 22, 2003

Now is the time
Here's a question for you all. (Because I could think of absolutely nothing to write about today.) When you're trying out a new pen (or keyboard), what do you write (or type)?
My old standby is "Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party." which I've typed so often over the years that if I were to take a typing test consisting only of that sentence over and over again, I'd probably score in excess of 200 wpm!
I'd always thought that this was an actual quotation by some notable historical figure, but it turns out that it was, in fact, a typing drill devised by a teacher named Charles E. Weller. Further, many typing books now use the variant "Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country" instead, because it exactly fills out a 70-space line if you put a period at the end. (Thanks to The Straight Dope!)
How about that?!
2:21 pm cst

Sunday, December 21, 2003

Attention shoppers
Man, what a weekend! The Vikings whomp KC, the terror alert is up, Bush is still president. It's all so perplexing. What's next? Oh, that's right. (sigh) Christmas shopping.
I am not a shopper. I freely admit it. I can handle the weekly trip to the grocery store and the occasional trip to Target for toilet paper and other such necessities, but when it comes to the annual year-end mall mosh, you can count me out. Or can you?
Every year, I solemnly pronounce that my holiday shopping will be completed by the end of July (August, tops), and yet every year you can find my sorry self trudging through the crowds right up to and including Christmas eve. I have come to believe that I am genetically encoded to procrastinate. Either you've got that "plan-ahead" gene or you don't. And I, evidently, don't.
I haven't given up yet, though. Let me tell you this. Next year, if you should happen to receive a package from me somewhere near the end of July (or August, tops), don't open it until Christmas.
10:09 pm cst

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The dated links above are to previous week's posts. Take a look if you haven't been following along. And just for the record, all words and pictures, except as noted, are mine and mine alone. I take full responsibility for them (unless, of course, legal action is threatened).
Willie, here, is both the mascot and the arbiter of good taste for this site... So, as you might expect, people will be offended. My apologies.

"There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman!"


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