Welcome to the summary of my 2002 trip to the South Island of New Zealand, a country of 4 million people, 20 million sheep, and an unknown number of hobbits.  It is a tale of danger, fear, loathing, espionage, overbearing pleasantness, modest sailboats, sneezing, coughing, sheep stomachs, sticky wickets, gridiron stars, penguins committing acts of abomination, a Swedish supergroup, unnecessarily curving roads, one ring to rule them all, and Canadians.
 
 

Narrator – your intrepid traveler
Todd – his neurotic sidekick for much of the trip
Mike – the Zen master, chief scientist of the conference
Ed – whose life was saved by Mike and to whom I still owe a beer
John – a converted Speight’s beer drinker defeated by a hill
Ted – a Canadian ex-patriot
Trish – the blond female scientist from Canada
Susan – the redheaded female scientist from Canada
Derek – yet another Canadian with a nose for finding scotch whiskey
Adidas Joe – an undercover CIA agent, perhaps
Brett Favre – the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers

The following tale is mostly true.  The views presented here are those of the narrator and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Walt Meier.  Any resemblance in this narrative to real persons, living or dead, is not at all coincidental.  Distances, currency, and other units have been converted to American because…well, because anything American is the best.

To start the journey, click here or go to the individual chapters below.  I recommend you read through the chapters in order though.

Kiwi:  (1) a flightless New Zealand bird of the genus Apteryx; (2) fruit of the Chinese gooseberry, first grown as a commercial crop in New Zealand (also called “kiwifruit”); (3) a native or resident of New Zealand, used as a nickname.

1.  Prologue in a New Zealand Airport
2.  Sky High in Auckland
3.  The Southern Hemisphere Pabst
4.  Todd’s Tips for Public Speaking
5.  Big Birds, Little Birds, Sinful Birds
6.  A Feast Fit for Groundskeeper Willy
7.  Saving Ed’s Life…Again
8.  Momma Mia!  Those Are Big Meatballs!
9.  Because the Weather’s Better Than in England
10.  It Looks Just Like Mt. McKinley
11.  Heck of a Long Way to go for a Picture, Part 1
12.  Better Than an E-Ticket Ride at Disneyland
13.  Heck of a Long Way to go for a Picture, Parts 2&3
14.  There’s Something About Brett Favre
15.  Where Did the Summer Go?
 

Read about Walt's first trip to New Zealand (and Australia) in 1997

Read about Walt's third trip to New Zealand and Australia in 2005

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