Three Blondes were walking through the forest when they came
upon a set of tracks. The first Blonde said "those are deer
tracks."  The second Blonde said "No, those are elk tracks."
The third Blonde said "You're both wrong,those are moose tracks."
The Blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
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What do smart Blondes and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
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Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed
to a regular one?  You have to hollow out the head.
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What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of
Cheerios? "Oh look, daddy ... doughnut seeds."
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How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
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Why can't Blondes make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
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Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to
death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
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Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists?
They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of
their Mercedes with a coat hanger.  They tried and tried to get
the door open, but they couldn't.  The girl with the coat hanger
stopped for a moment to catch her  breath, and her friend said
anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her
husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a
handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with
a
beautiful redhead.  She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading
with her not
to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the
husband, "shut up ... you're next!"
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Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
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What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
They drowned in Spring training.
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What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in
front of the YMCA?
"Look!  they spelled MACYS wrong".
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Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
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How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
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Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice?
Because it said 'concentrate'.
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There was a competition to cross the English channel doing
only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the
race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.

After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on
the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker.

About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore
and was declared the second place finisher.

Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and
promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.

When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete
the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore
loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms."

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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.  It was her
turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature".
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls
your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"