How's Your English Today? 

I'm pretty good at recognizing errors in the way Americans speak and write (American) English. How many of these mistakes have you caught other people making? How many do you make?
Often Spoken As...
Probably Should Be...
 
"I need to lay down for a moment."
"I need to lie down for a moment."
"The problem is is that..." "The problem is that..." or
"What the problem is is that..."
Nucular Nuclear
Ek cetera Et cetera
"It's these kind of things..." "It's this kind of thing..." or
"It's these kinds of things..."
Expecially, excape Especially, escape
"The rebuilding of the houses are done." "The rebuilding of the houses is done."
"You think your pretty smart..." "You think you're pretty smart..."
Asterik or asterix Asterisk
Jagwire Jaguar
"It's one of the only..." "It's one of the few..."
Jewlery Jewelry
Mischievious Mischievous
"It's a whole 'nother matter." "It's a whole other matter."
"I missed not seeing you." "I missed seeing you."
"Watching a 49er game..." "Watching a 49ers game..."
"That's my favorite ice cream flavor, is vanilla." "That's my favorite ice cream flavor, vanilla."
"If I would have been there..." "(If I had)(Had I) been there..."
"If I could of been there..." "If I could have been there..."
"Don't take anything for granite." "Don't take anything for granted."
"The name of the book is called..." "The name of the book is..." or
"The book is called..."
"It's not that big of a deal." "It's not that big a deal."
Esculator, simular Escalator, similar
"For God sakes..." "For God's sake..."
Fermiliar, phertographer Familiar, photographer
"Can I ax you a question?"
"May I ask you a question?"
"To find out more, call..."
"To learn more, call..."
"I got to tell you something."
"I need/have to tell you something."

Some of these errors - assuming I'm correct - have been used so long that they're generally just not considered wrong anymore.

And some of the mistakes are more common then others, like the "is is" thing. Have you noticed how often people make that horrendous goof? It almost drives me crazy! (Note: Above, then should have been than.)

Someone in England pointed out to me that an acceptable alternate spelling for jewelry is jewellery, in which case the Jewlery item above would be inaccurate. But I remind you that my compilation of errors is based on the American usage of English. I don't believe jewellery is commonly used as a spelling here in the U.S.

I suppose you can't really blame the average American English speaker for misusing it so much. It is, after all, a rather silly language, if you think about it. Take, for example, the letters ough, which end many words. What do you notice about the following words?...
 


bough cough dough rough through


 


Oddly, each occurrence of ough is pronounced differently! (It is in the USA, anyway.) And I could have included hiccough, too.

Anyway, I hope you've been entertained or maybe even learned something here today.
Thanks for your attention.

Oh, yes, and stop referring to chimpanzees as monkeys!  How insulting to them it must be.

Thanks for Visiting!

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