Law of Cat Inertia: A cat at rest
will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying
mouse.
Law of Cat Motion: A cat will move
in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Stretching: A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of
the nap just taken.
Law of Cat Acceleration: A cat
will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics:
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
First Law of Energy Conservation:
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
Second Law of Energy Conservation:
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
Fourteenth Law of Energy Conservation (contributed by Calitabby): Whatever
a cat does, it does on purpose. [Therefore, if a cat
seems to do something ungainly or not-so-smart, the cat will act as if s/he has done it on purpose and, furthermore,
it was a very
clever idea to have done it, thank you very much!]
Law of Refrigerator Observation:
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
Law of Milk Consumption: A cat will
drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
Law of Fluid Displacement: A cat
immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
Law of Pill Rejection: Any pill
given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Cat Composition: A cat is
composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
The Cat Uncertainty Principle (contributed by Arbie):
The cat will not be where you predict if it knows you are predicting.
The Law of Cat Indigestion (contributed by O'Mufasa):
A cat will throw-up on your car keys [and possibly your purse] if he/she feels
you have been gone too long.
