My Floaty Pen Obsession

This is me with my husband, Scott, and our two kids, Andy and Allie.
I can't help it. Every time I am in an office setting, I scan the pencil cup on the receptionist's desk looking for floaty pens. I'm not sure what I would actually do if I saw one there...offer money, favors, a trade??? (I know the eighth commandment, the seventh and tenth, too, for that matter.)

One time when I was at my aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary party, I saw an old man with a floaty in his pocket. I was close enough to read the "Made in Denmark" on the clip. He had a pocket protector with lots of pens in it, but only one was a floaty.

I guess it is a little weird to go to an anniversary party with a bunch of writing instruments in your dress shirt pocket. Maybe he thought there would be a drawing, and he wanted to be able to enter it. (If there was a drawing, he would win because he would have all of the pens and no one else could enter.) Maybe when he was a kid he got in trouble at school for not having a pencil. Maybe he is famous and people ask for his autograph all the time, and he doesn't want to embarrass his fans by not having a pen. Maybe he is an inventor and gets inspired ideas and jots down them down on cocktail napkins so he won't forget them.

I didn't know him, so I didn't say anything. I still wonder what pen it was.

I actually use my floaty pens. It is about the only thing I ever write with. I lose a lot of them. I bet someone is really happy when they find them. Maybe I am a pen-goddess in their eyes. Usually I lose the really cool ones because I like them and take them places with me.

I am a mystery shopper, and I lose them at restaurants a lot. A mystery shopper is a person who pretends to be a regular customer but is really a spy. I have to sneak and write down things like how long it takes me to get my appetizer, if the rest rooms are clean, and if they offer me "smoking or non". I am a professional tattler. I fill out long reports and have to think of synonyms for words like 'slow' and 'dirty'. I sit on my pen and secret pad so the servers won't know my true identity. Sometimes my pen falls on the floor, but that's OK because I have to report if the floors are clean or not. I get a lot of free meals for being a mystery shopper, but no money with which to buy pens.

I take a different floaty pen with me to church each week. It is a Baptist church so I don't take any of the pens that advertise beer. Pens come in handy at church for filling out offering envelopes. If you fill out your envelope, you can use your offering for a tax deduction. If the sermon is boring, you can pretend to be at some exotic location where your pen is from. You can also write down really important stuff you hear. Sometimes people borrow my pens at church. I can't concentrate until they give them back. I'm afraid I will forget to get them back, and people like to keep pens that they borrow, even at church.

A lot of the senior adults at our church have a floaty pen. Their senior adult group is called "The Classics". I ordered a bunch of pens from Diana Andra that said, "The Classics" on them, and my mom sold them to the people in the group. They weren't custom made pens. It was just a coincedence. The pens had classic cars on them, but the people in the group wanted them because they said, "The Classics". Sometimes I forget that they have them, and I get all excited to see a floaty in the hands of someone at church. If the hands I see them in are old, it is a safe bet that it is a "classics" pen. "The Classics" pen isn't made anymore, so if you want one, you will have to get one from an old person at my church.

I have been trying to come up with an interesting way to display my pen collection. All of my other collections are displayed so I can see them and enjoy them. I've heard of pen collectors who keep their pens in coffee mugs. I decided to look for unusual coffee mugs that would be appropriate for travel pens. I figured that there would be a lot of souvenir-type ceramic mugs at thrift shops and in garage sales. I was wrong. I couldn't find anything that I liked. I checked eBay under "state mug". I discovered 20 oz. Starbucks Coffee mugs from different cities and states. Little did I know that these are a hot collectable. One Boston mug I saw went for $60! I was able to buy an Ohio "States of Bean" mug for much less. It says, "Ohio" on the handle and outside, and has fun facts about the state all over it. A 20 oz. mug will hold about 50 pens. I don't have 50 Ohio pens, so I combined them with my advertising pens to fill up the mug. I found a Virginia mug too. I am on the lookout for more. If you see any of them, pick them up for me, OK?

Speaking of eBay, have you seen the pen prices lately? I cringe when I see someone pay exorbitant prices for pens that are abundant and easily available. Older or very rare pens are worth it to some collectors. I don't know what my top dollar to pay for a floaty pen would be. I don't think I have ever paid more than $6 for one.

I don't have a problem with people buying items to turn around and sell on eBay. I do it all the time myself. I'm rather good at it, if I do say so myself. Maybe I should sell some floaty pens. No, that would never work because I want to keep them all.

This is me at my sister's wedding.
My sister picked up an Ohio State "Go Buckeyes!" floaty pen for her guests to sign the guest book at her wedding. The pen was a hit with the many Ohio State football fans who were in attendance.

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