Okay, so you like Sam. But are you a card-carrying member of the select circle of sighing, swooning, steadfast Sam Seaborn supporters? Take the quiz below and find out!

1. You are watching the latest episode. Sam's screen time is less than acceptable. You:
   1. Remain calm. Every character gets their chance to shine; Sam will get his.
   2. Yell obscenities, stomp around and throw things, alarming your pets and neighbors.
   3. Rant throughout each commercial break about how "the powers that be" underutilize Rob Lowe, and they don't know a good thing when they see one.

2. Sam is left in the dark about something (e.g. a drop in, an undisclosed illness, a mistress) once again. You:
   1. Make a doll that looks like the offending character and stick pins in it.
   2. Shake your head in disgust, but comfort yourself knowing it will allow Sam to fire off one of his signature speeches.
   3. Are glad that Sam can write free from unnecessary distractions.

3. You have watched Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Going to Jail:
   1. Twice. The original airing and the repeat.
   2. Five times. Any more and you risk wearing out your tape.
   3. Twenty times. You've made copies of the copies of your original tapes.

4. Sam has draped himself on Toby's couch again.** Your response:
   1. Stop. Rewind. Play. Stop. Rewind. Play. Stop. Rewind. Play.
   2. He's sitting on Toby's couch. What's the big deal?
   3. Thud. You've fallen over in a dead faint.

5. Sam is in the middle of a passionate speech. The phone rings. You:
   1. Let the machine get it, while mumbling rude remarks about the caller under your breath.
   2. Pick up the phone, yell, "What's wrong with you? It's Sam!," then slam the phone down.
   3. Answer the phone and politely talk, while keeping one eye on the screen.