Turks Party 2

Turks Party 2 - The Tupperware Party
By: Zheng Lee

Tseng stood outside Reeve's home, pacing around his newly painted sports car. He scrutinized the gloss black finish, meticulously scrubbing away any smudge, finger print, or rain spot he could find with the sleeve of his suit jacket.

Reeve finally came out, squirming into his navy blue jacket in haste and still trying to comb his hair. "Sorry, I'm lagging behind a little. Mom called right before I got into the shower."

"Quit fussing over your hair, Reeve," said Tseng, making sure Reeve didn't get finger prints all over his car. "You know how Reno-parties go. It'll be a mess again before midnight."

"What's this theme of his for tonight's party? Didn't he also say something about a door-prize?"

"Yeah, well I wouldn't get too excited about winning a door-prize. I can just imagine the things his sick mind would choose to give out."

Reeve laughed lightly as Tseng drove away from the curb. "Yeah... Probably bikinis, condoms, and the latest issue of Playboy."

Tseng snorted a laugh. "Yeah. I still have that jock strap I won as a door prize last year. It's too small for me, but I have a feeling it would fit Reno just fine."

"Speaking of which...sort of..." Reeve blushed a little. "How'd Reno's 'Week-of-Hell' go for what happened at the last party?"

Tseng grinned. "The less you know, the better, Reeve."

"Gotchya..."

It wasn't too much farther to the famous apartment. It seemed the land lord couldn't keep tenants long in the unit next to Reno's. He was tempted to start charging Reno rent for the adjacent units as well.

Reeve and Tseng were the last two to the party this time. The music was audible from out in the parking lot. A Calsonic-blue car was parked up front, meaning Reno's not-so-imaginary-friend-after-all was there. Tseng cleverly parked his car several units down just to avoid a repeat of the last fender-bender between his beautiful car and a certain beat-up old Yugo. (See "Cyrus Crashes the Party")

"Looks like we're late," grumbled Tseng.

Reeve walked into the noise and mayhem ahead of Tseng. Reno was poised by the door, lurking behind it with a blow-noise maker ready. When Tseng walked in, Reno jumped out and tooted his little party horn. "Tseng wins the grapefruit peeler!!" he declared, somehow above all the other noise going on. He handed Tseng a rather odd looking plastic wand.

"Most interesting..." Reeve contemplated it.

"I'll put this with my jock strap..." Tseng muttered, wondering just why anyone would want to peel a grapefruit.

"Well, now that the door-prize thing is over with, we can start this Tupperware party!" Reno bounded back into the living room.

"What the hell is a Tupper-Wear Party?" asked Rufus, oblivious to the night's party theme.

"I don't know, but I some how think it's just another fancy ploy to get me to take all my clothes off," said Tseng, dropping heavily onto the sofa with a cold beer. He eyed Reno suspiciously, keen to any attempt at foul-play. For once, Elena was ignoring him and seemed to be fussing around a lot more than usual in the kitchen.

Reeve sat down next to the Turks' leader. "Man, it's hot in here. But I'm afraid to take my jacket off for fear that it'll put me that one step closer to losing at one of Reno's strip party games."

"I know," said Tseng. "I don't think any week-from-hell is ever gonna deter Reno from his party antics. May as well just sit back and be amused."

The music, probably for the first time ever at a Reno-party, was turned down. "Everyone...!" Reno called over the new spell of silence. "Into the kitchen…! Seems Elena has something to show us, and it's not her boobs."

"Reno…!!!" the female Turk's voice screamed from the nearby room.

A few glances were exchanged, but the six men walked into the kitchen. Elena was standing on the opposite end of the table, a grin beaming across the room. Once she had their attention, she pulled a large cloth cover off the table to reveal colorful plastic bowls and cups. She grinned at them, anxiously awaiting an enthusiastic response.

"What is this!?" Reno demanded angrily. "I ordered a Tupperware party! I don't see what all these colourful plastic bowls and cups have anything to do with it!"

"Reno..." Elena hissed quietly in his ear. "These plastic bowls are the Tupperware party."

"What!?" Reno snapped. "Is there some other definition of the word 'party' that I'm not aware of?"

A few moments of silence passed, then Rufus came forward from the back of the room and snatched a bowl and a cup. "All right!! Where's the food and drink to put in these!?" he asked loudly.

Nathan tapped the young V.P. on the shoulder. "Uh...sir, we're here to purchase these bowls, not eat out of them."

"What!?"

Reno pushed Elena aside and addressed his guests. "Look, guys. There seems to be some kind of mistake here! It seems that a Tupperware party is some kind of girly thing. These silly bowls and cups are the party theme...why ever that is. So...what do you guys say...? Give me a hand...?"

Elena grinned hesitantly, hoping Reno would lighten up. But, the other guys stepped forward and helped Reno pick up all the bowls and cups, and dump them out the kitchen window to the alley below.

"No...!!" the female Turk shrieked, dashing for the back door immediately to retrieve her precious Tupperware.

Reno clapped imaginary dust off his hands. "Well, with that taken care of, I officially dub this 'Tupperware Party' and official 'Reno-party'!!"

The guys cheered as the music immediately went up to headache volume again. The billiards balls broke from their triangular formation on the pool table.

Reno hopped over the back of the sofa and landed squarely between Reeve and Tseng, dressed in nothing but his socks and tight-fitting underwear.

"Do you mind, Reno!?" said Tseng, whacking a pillow into Reno's mid-section on onto the boy's lap. "I've seen enough of your balls lately."

"Tseng...!" Reeve said accusingly.

"Oh, yes..." Reno grinned. "My little...what did you call it...? Week from Heaven...?"

"You weren't suppose to enjoy it!" Tseng growled.

"Let that be a lesson to you! There is nothing you can do to piss me off!" Reno got up and thankfully went to bother some other people.

Tseng minded his beer during the spell of silence that followed. Reeve shifted a little. "Uh...Tseng...? You didn't actually...?"

"It's not what you think, Reeve. I'll explain later."

"Darn!" Reno said, going through his refrigerator. "All this alcohol, and Scarlett isn't here to drink it." He popped two corked bottles open at the same time and helped himself to more than just a sampling of each.

Nathan slipped away from the scene and helped Elena outside with gathering up her Tupperware. "I didn't know you sold Tupperware," he said, grabbing some of the bowls for her.

"Yeah..." she said dejectedly. "It's not like I need the extra money, being a Turk and all. I just..."

"Say no more," said Nathan. "I want to buy some of these. And...I want the green ones, not the blue. Trust me, when you live with Cyrus in his mansion, you get sick of blue real quick."

"Who's this Cyrus guy you keep talking about?"

"It's a long story, Elena."

Meanwhile, back inside, Reno had a little too much to drink too fast. He stumbled on the living room carpet and landed face-down in Rude's lap, his nose between the giant Turk's legs. Rude stood up and grabbed Reno by the scruff of his neck.

"I swear, Reno... Do that again I'll break every tooth out of that sly grin of yours!" he growled, meaning every bit of it.

"Go ahead. I could use some time off."

Rude threw Reno's thin body down onto the loveseat and walked away to take his turn at the billiards table.

"Hey, Tseng doesn't mind my friskiness! Just ask him 'bout my week-from-hell!!" Reno called behind his friend, and over the volume of the obnoxious stereo.

Tseng's face lit up bright red as if to beckon all who hadn't initially turned his way in shock. Reno slumped like a boneless ragdoll on the loveseat, one leg draped over the back of the sofa.

"Reno!" Tseng snapped, standing up to tower over the already-wasted young Turk. Reno looked up through sleepy eyes, allowing the shorter but older man to stand over him in whatever fit of rage was about to come. "You and I did not 'get frisky'! I don't know what twisted fantasy world of drunken dreams you are living in, but come out of it! Now!!"

Reno shined a smile, still gripping a bottle of clear alcohol he'd been drinking directly from. His incoherent gaze told Tseng that it wasn't worth the argument. He'd just have to clear up the rumors later, hopefully before they got out and around to all the water coolers at work.

"Give me that!" Tseng wrenched the bottle out of Reno's hand. The red-haired Turk was too dizzy from the booze to get up and fetch another drink. "And get some clothes on!"

Rufus was lining up for another shot at the pool table. "What's with Reno, anyway?" he asked the giant Turk. "He's a bit of a pervert outside of the office, isn't he?"

Rude shrugged, chalking up his cue stick. "I think he likes to boast about it a lot because he doesn't get too many women these days. Or…with the way he's been lately, not very many men either."

Tseng found Elena and offered her a glass of wine. "Wow," he said to her. "An hour into the party, and you're still sober. Something wrong?"

Elena shrugged and took the glass of red wine. "Other than Reno and his obnoxious attitude? I should have made him aware of what a Tupperware party really was. I don't think he had any clue. You know Reno, though. If it sounds good to him, he'll try it."

"Hmm. I'll have to suggest a few more Wutan dishes to him. We all know the various colors he turns when he finds out he's eaten caviar."

Elena giggled, her mood finally broken up quite a bit. She put an arm around Tseng's waist and took a sip of her wine. "You're so mean to him."

"Yeah, I know. It's just too bad he's so resistant to being humiliated and picked on."

"Hey, Elena..." a very drunk Reno staggered up to them. "Do you sell any of the useful kinds of cups...? You know, the kind I could use to protect my manhood from getting kicked by angry prostitutes?"

"Reno...!" Tseng growled, lunging at the young Turk. "Get lost now, or you'll wish you had one on now!"

"Oooh..." Reno mocked in a girly tone, slinking away for more alcohol.

"Tseng, I think if you play along with him, you're only encouraging him."

"Hey, Elena..." Tseng grinned, taking the glass from her hand. "How's about before you and I get totally drunk, we go upstairs and I show you what Reno and I didn't do during his week of hell...?"

Elena stood on her toes and brushed her lips against his. "Oh, really...!? Well…like…I guess I'm glad the rumor's not true…" They kissed, them Tseng took her by the hand and lead her up the stairs.

Reeve started throwing darts all by himself, carefully checking for photos of Shinra executives tacked up on the board before fully opening the doors covering it. Reno came into the room looking a little more steadied than before, apparently some kind of elixir in his blood to partially detox him only so he could keep on drinking a little more.

"I'm going upstairs to change into something a little more comfortable!" he announced, twirling his recently removed underwear on one finger and slowly making his way across the room. He stopped at the foot of the stairs in mock contemplation. "On the other hand, I'm quite comfortable the way I am now..."

"Reno!" Rude's voice thundered at him. "Go upstairs now and get some clothes on, or I'll ram this cue stick up your ass!"

"Hmm..." Reno paused again, pretending to contemplate again.

Rude hurled the cue stick across the room at him, and Reno narrowly avoided it's flying tip. It hit the wall, leaving a blue chalk mark on the white paint that stayed there for several weeks after. He went up the stairs reluctantly.

Meanwhile, Tseng was kissing Elena passionately, and she was bowled over with the unexpected dream of hers that was coming true. "Tseng..." she giggled, playfully pushing him away as his kissing lips assaulted her neck.

"Come on, Elena. This is your chance. For once you're not drunk, so all the more you can enjoy it."

"You surprise me, Tseng. For how cold and in control you are 24 hours a day, what on earth is setting you off today."

Tseng kissed her neck and buried his nose in her hair. His hand ventured down to his fly and pushed the zipper half way down. "I don't know. I...I kind of think it had something to do with Reno wearing that tight underwear. It kind of...turned me on a little."

"What!?!?" Elena moved away from him and slapped his face. "You do have a thing for him, don't you!?" She evaded him as she rolled off the bed and scurried out of the room.

"Elena! Wait!! No...!!" Tseng just hung his head, leaning on all fours on the otherwise empty mattress.

Seconds later, the light turned on, startling both Tseng and the room's newest arrival. "Oh...!" Reno yelped, halting the spin he was twirling his underwear in.

Tseng looked back at him, trying not to stare at the one thing his eyes had managed to avoid during all the other parties in which Reno spent much time nude.

"I was just coming for a change of clothes," said Reno, putting the skimpy underwear down and fetching a loose pair of boxers out of the drawer.

"Yeah..." Tseng said somberly.

"What's the matter? What are you doing up here all by yourself?"

"Well...I was with Elena..." Tseng paused for a while.

"Hmm... Doesn't look like you got far?"

"Huh...? Oh. No, we didn't. All the better, I suppose, though."

"Hmm... Well, hey. How's about coming back down stairs for another round of drinks. Don't worry if you start getting too wasted. I have an elixir on hand so we can keep partying 'til the alcohol's gone."

"And, now that you're a little more sober, do you care to help me diffuse the misleading rumors you started? You know which ones I'm talking about."

"Oh, that...? Yeah, I know. It was kind of fun, though, watching you get all defensive and stuff." Reno also fetched a button-up shirt out of his dresser drawer and put it on, leaving it completely open in the front.

"All right. Come on. We have to extinguish it all now before it becomes number one on the charts at the water coolers Monday morning." Tseng hastily groomed his hair with his fingers to straighten it up from his brief episode with Elena.

Reno lit up a cigarette and lead the way down stairs.

They made Reeve, Rufus, and Nathan perfectly aware that nothing sexual had gone on between them after the last disastrous party. Rude and Elena already knew, but it was good that they were informed just to keep them from eternally wondering anyway.

Reno immediately went back to drinking as if being sober at his own parties was a cardinal sin. Tseng decided it was time to lay off the booze before he wound up in bed again with someone, whether it be Elena or something worse. Rude was already thoroughly drunk, but one could hardly tell as he kept himself very well composed, all things considered.

Rufus lost at billiards and proceeded to throw a mini tantrum which ended in his downing an entire beer in less than a minute. Elena was flirting with Reeve, and Nathan was sifting through Reno's CD collection looking for something interesting that might have lyrics that a sane person might understand. Surprisingly, he found a Yanni CD among the pile.

"More beer...!" Rufus called leaning his head against a wall as if the pose made him feel like he was standing upright.

"I got a whole case in the kitchen," said Reno, ready for another one himself.

"And I want another Zima," Elena whined to Tseng, making the Turk leader give in and follow Reno into the kitchen to fetch more booze.

Reno was struggling with a case of beer, trying to lift the heavy box from on top of the refrigerator. "Need any help with that?" asked Tseng, opening the fridge to get Elena her damn Zima.

"I'm fine..." Reno grunted, sliding the case off the high place and trying to catch in on his shoulder. The box slipped, and Reno twisted his body to keep it from crashing to the ground. Tseng leapt to the rescue and saved the case from disaster while Reno let out a blood-curdling scream.

"Reno!!"

Reeve's ears perked up over the loud music while no one else seemed to notice. He looked down at his drink, seriously contemplating not finishing it, as it might have been causing hallucinations. There was another human yell, a little more audible this time. He stood up with an attentive look on his face, which drew curious glances from the other party-goers.

Reeve didn't even wait for them; he went straight to the kitchen, as it seemed to be the origin of all the noise. Curious, Nathan and Elena followed.

When they opened the door, they were horrified at the scene before them. Reno was bent over a chair, and Tseng was behind him with his arms around the young Turk's waist, hands over his navel. Reno's buttocks were pressed firmly against Tseng's waist line, and the young man's body convulsed slightly, pushing himself harder against the older man's body.

"Oooww...Tseng do you have to do this...!?" he moaned, his features tense with obvious pain.

"It's for your own good, you big bad drunk," Tseng replied, pushing his pelvis forward at regular intervals against the young man's back end.

"Damn...! Stop!! What did I do to deserve this!!?" Reno cried, his eyes still clenched shut to the sensation that gnawed at him.

"I'm almost done. If you'd just relax, all the sooner this'll all be over for you. Come on...take it like a man, Reno..." Tseng looked up at the trio that had gone unnoticed. Their mouths were agape, jaws dropped almost to the floor at the sight that was before them. Tseng stopped working Reno's body, much to the young Turk's comfort. "Uh........." was all he could manage.

"Tseng!?!" Elena scolded him fierce.

Tseng let go of Reno, leaving the red head slumped over the back of a chair. "Uh...I.......Uh..." he couldn't untie his tongue fast enough to speak.

"Tseng! You oughta be ashamed of yourself!" Elena snarled, looking down at Tseng's pants, just below his belt.

"Elena...I assure you this isn't what it seems to be!" Tseng looked up at the stunned faces of Reeve and Nathan. Their eyes were also down, looking at what Elena noticed. He ventured a look down for himself and was mortified to find that his trousers fly was wide open. He quickly turned sideways and remedied the situation with this pants.

"Is that right...!?" Elena disbelieved the excuses he was handing her. "You wouldn't do it with me, and now we catch you red-handed fucking Reno in the kitchen."

"No, Elena, you have it all wrong...!" Tseng looked to Reeve and Nathan for support, only to find that the audience had increased itself to include Rude and Rufus as well.

"Aaaaowwww, Tseng......!" Reno cried from his uncomfortable position.

Tseng rushed up behind him and held his body again. "Reno hurt his back," he told the curious on-lookers. "I'm just trying to help him stretch the muscles out of spasms. I know it looks bad, especially to those who saw that my fly was down, but I assure you, that was only left-over from something me and Elena almost got into together and has nothing to do with what's going on now."

There seemed to be a few skeptics, yet no one in the audience was willing to leave as their imaginations ran away again watching Tseng manipulate the young man's bent-over body. Finally, Reno's locked back gave in and offered him more mobility and relief from the spasm that had gripped it. His forced gasping slowed, and he pushed up with his hands. Tseng eased him to an upright position.

"What are you all looking at!?" Reno demanded, seeing the gawking company at the entrance to the kitchen.

"Don't worry, Reno. We're glad you're okay," said Reeve.

Reno winced, holding a hand against the side of his lower back. "Come on, Reno. Let's get you upstairs." Before Reno could protest, Tseng swept him off his feet and carried him out of the kitchen like a groom might carry a bride. Again, stares flew their way, but Tseng paid them no mind.

Rufus scratched the back of his head. "Uh...what the hell was that?"

Reeve shrugged. "I don't know, but I think we'd best never bring it up again."

"Agreed," said Nathan, diving into the secret stash of Ginger Ale that Reno kept around specially for him.

"So ends another Reno-party, eh?" asked Rufus.

"Yeah, I think so..." Elena replied. "So, uh...does anyone want to buy any Tupperware?"

The party-goers looked around among themselves for a few moments before turning their full attention to Elena and her colorful plastic bowls.

BONUS!!

The "Original" Tupperware Party
[if this link is broken, I will fix it]

Written MANY years ago by my older sister...takes place in the Star Trek universe. Ideas and lines for the beginning of this Turk Party story came from this version. It never got finished as there became really nowhere to take the story once all the funny lines were used up. And...don't ask us what a grapefruit peeler is...we never heard of one really existing. It just seemed funny at the time.

THE END