Turks Party 13

Turks Party 13 - Nightmare in Nibelhiem
By: Zheng Lee

Tseng unlocked the iron gate in front of Shinra's mansion in Nibelheim.

"Why do we have to stay the night in this dump!?" asked Reno, looking up at the old building that had been in the Shinra family for 8 generations.

"It's not a dump, Reno!" Rufus retorted defensively. As if on cue, the iron gate broke its hinges and clattered to the ground. "It just,...needs work."

"Yeah, yeah..." Reno pushed past him.

"It's gonna be perfect for the Shinra Halloween masquerade ball!" said Elena, looking up at the two-story foyer.

"Some 'masquerade'," grumbled Reno. "Heidegger's smell usually gives him away. And Scarlet and that wretched cackle of hers..."

"It doesn't matter," said Reeve. "The point is that we have a good time. It's kind of just a tradition among the company execs that it doesn't matter."

Reno stepped up to Rufus and nudged the young VP in the ribs. "Hey, kid! Your Pop gonna wear that king's costume he can usually be found wearing at the Honey Bee Inn?"

"Shhh...!!!"

The downstairs was bare aside from a few storage crates and a large area rug. "This place is gonna take a lot of fixing up just to host the party," said Tseng. "How does it get like this every year?"

"We don't keep much in this house any more. Seems travelers like to break in, sleep overnight, try to get that silly safe open, and play the piano that's been broken for years," Rufus explained. "Aside from that, I'm told there are monsters in this house."

"Monsters!? Don't worry, Tseng and I will kick their butts!" Elena roughly hooked Tseng's arm.

"Come on, Elena," the Turk leader replied. "There are no monsters here other than that red-head over there." Reno just grinned at them.

Elena took another look around the freaky mansion kind of hoping there were monsters lying around. On the other hand, the place was just too darn deserted feeling to have monsters in it.

"Well, time to claim bedrooms," said Reno, standing at the foot of the staircase with his carry-on bag in hand. He eyed Rufus competitively.

Rufus bolted, hauling his own luggage, chasing Reno up the stairs. They both got to the south bedroom to the left of the arboretum at the same time. They tried squeezing through the doorway at the same time, bumping each other hoping the other one would give way first. Rufus slammed Reno sideways into the door and rushed in ahead of the Turk, spilling his own luggage contents onto the floor.

"It's gotta be my bedroom," said Rufus. "My clothes are already here."

Reno casually put down his luggage and light up a cigarette, taking his little time about it. After the cancer stick was lit, he tossed the still-flaming match onto the bed. Instantly, the mattress began to burn intensely.

"Okay, you can have the bedroom..." said Rufus.

"No, no..." Reno replied. "You already said it was yours."

"No, I didn't!"

"Did too!"

"Did not...!"

The bickering guys paused and stared at each other, obvious that they had the same thought. Together, they darted out the door and onto the walkway. They leaned on the railing and together, they shouted downstairs, "Rude! Your bedroom's on fire!"

Reeve just rolled his eyes as he helped Tseng survey the downstairs. "Well," he said. "At least the place comes with the creepiness already built in."

"And the musty smell," Tseng added. There was a loud thump from upstairs.

"What the heck was that!?" asked Elena.

Tseng shrugged. "It's probably just Reno and Rufus vying for the same bedroom. They'll probably light 'em all on fire before winding up having to share the last one."

"Hmm... We'd better claim ours before they get carried away." Reeve lead the way up the stairs to the living quarters of the mansion.

"We'll drag some of those coffins out of the cellar and put them out for decorations," said Tseng. "Though we're better off doing it tomorrow after the sun comes up."

"Scared, Tseng?" Reeve teased.

Tseng just narrowed his eyes. "No. It's just gonna take more than us to get those things up here. We'll need Reno and Rude to help us."

Reno only managed to burn the one bedroom. As punishment, Tseng made Reno and Rufus sleep together in the room with the secret entrance to the basement. Reeve slept in the back room behind the false wall, and Tseng and Elena shared the room on the back with the safe. Rude found a place to sleep despite the destroyed mattress.

The next morning was Halloween. The plane carrying the remainder of the Shinra execs would be coming in later that afternoon. Meanwhile, the Turks and Reeve set the place up for the party to come.

After cleaning the place and setting everything up, they were almost too tired to stay up for the party. Reno lounged on the couch, leaning far back to rest his neck. Elena patted every stray speck of dust out of her clothing. Rufus, who'd sat around watching the entire time finally got up and walked around, mocking everyone for being so worn out.

"I'll be fine once the beer kegs arrive," said Reno.

"Is that all you think about!?" Elena barked.

"Just about..."

The telephone rang, and Reeve answered it. "Hello." ... "I see." ... "Okay, I'll let everyone know." ... "All right. You enjoy your party; we'll enjoy ours." He hung up and faced the others. "Bad news. There's a horrible storm in Midgar, and the executive plane can't take off. Looks like it's just gonna be us."

"No way!" Reno complained.

"And I broke a nail...for what!?" added Elena.

"Can't we just reschedule?" asked Rufus.

Reeve shook his head. "Halloween isn't the kind of holiday you can reschedule. It's one-night-only, rain-or-shine. The executives back home are having a party at Shinra Headquarters anyway. We may as well just have ours here, especially after all the work we did to get ready. We could always just invite folks from the town, you think?"

Tseng shook his head. "I don't know. If someone should venture downstairs, they'd find out some ugly truths about Shinra."

"But," Reeve argued. "If we do invite them, it's a good chance to try to show the world that Shinra is friendly and compassionate to the world-wide community it controls. Your-tax-dollars-at-work...?"

Tseng just shook his head some more. "Forget it. We may as well just let Reno host one of his usual parties."

"Whoo-hoooo!!" Reno bolted up, feeling rejuvenated.

"That's not creative license to embarrass me!" Tseng added.

"Boy, are you paranoid! Come on. We can still have fun."

One of the coffin lids creaked open, which no one found out of place until they realized that none of them were the one who did it. It was opening on its own.

"Vincent Valentine!" said Tseng, taking a step back.

"What happened? Why is my coffin upstairs?"

"I thought that one was heavier than the rest!" said Reno. "Nearly broke my back picking that one up."

"You dare disturb my sleep?" Vince asked the red head Turk.

"N-no! We're just having a party! Wanna stay and enjoy it with us."

"Not really..." Vince sank back into his coffin and the lid slammed shut.

"Well..." said Reeve with a beefed up accent. "Ain't that odd...?"

"How's about we get into our costumes and start this thing. No point waiting, as there are no more guests to show up," said Elena.

"Uh...except for the musical entertainment," Reno added.

"Huh!?" was everyone's response.

"Well..." Reno admitted. "I thought our previous Halloween parties were too nice and pristine compared to what the holiday's all about, so I figured I'd show the president what kind of music is really representative of Halloween. Too bad he's not here to see it."

"All right, Reno. What ever," said Tseng. "Come on, let's get our costumes on."

* * * *

Music filled the downstairs foyer and make-shift ball room. It was a five-man acapella band singing a calypso tune appropriate to the calendar day. Their name: Rockapella.

"It was a Zombie Jamboree, took place in a New York cemetery...
It was a Zombie Jamboree, took place in a New York cemetery...
Zombies from all parts of the island; some of them were great calypsonians,
Since the season was carnival; they got together in bacchanal !"

One by one, those in attendance filed out of their upstairs room and walked along the walkway to the top of the staircase.

"And they were singing...
Back to back...belly to belly! I don't give a damn...I'm stone-dead already!
Back to back...belly to belly, it's a Zombie Jamboree...!"

Elena was the first down the stairs wearing a shiny tight-fitting mini-skirt and midriff-revealing outfit with colors bright enough to illuminate the dark side of the moon. Her hair was uncharacteristically in a stylish sort of disarray and make-up was glopped on dramatically like a teenager. Dozens of colorful, shiny bracelets dangled from her wrists. A glittery mask fitted around her eyes. Behind her came Reeve dressed in a cowboy outfit complete with hat and shiny pistols. His eye mask was black like a bandit's.

"One female zombie, she wouldn't behave.
See how she's dancing out of the grave.
In one hand she's holding a quart of Rum...
The other hand was knocking a conga drum...!"

Reno came out next in a tight-fitting (semi-revealing) cat's costume with ears, tail, mitts and boots with claws, and a furry and whiskered mask over his eyes and nose. Rufus trailed him wearing a very ornate and complete outfit of a prince apparently from some fairy tale. His crown was gold with faux jewels, and the mask around his eyes was white to match most of his outfit.

"You know the lead singer starts to make his rhyme,
while the other zombies rock in time.
One by-stander, he had this to say:
It was a trip to see the zombies break away!"

Tseng came down the stairs, a black cape wrapped around his body. He hopped off the last step and reached his arms out to his sides, opening his cape like bat's wings. Underneath, he had on a black and white tux. His make up paled his skin and reddened his lips which his fangs showed up well against. He wore a silk mask around his eyes.

"And they were singing...
Back to back...belly to belly! I don't give a......"

The singers stopped when they saw the jaw-dropping site of the last one in attendance. Rude.

He came out into the foyer wearing his sunglasses as usual and carrying two multi-colored pom-poms. Aside from that, he was wearing a mini-skirt and sweater with a big letter J on the front. His muscular hairy legs were all too exposed in his cheerleader's outfit.

No one could quite figure out why Rude ever decided on that to wear, but no one was bold enough to ask him. The musicians slowly backed away and exited the mansion.

"Fine!" said Reno. "Let's start drinking, yes!?" He dove right into the booze.

"I wish there were more of us here than this," said Tseng, going to the punch bowl which he knew darn well Reno had spiked.

The doorbell rang, and Reeve went to answer it assuming it would be another music band. Instead, he found that it was two locals all dressed up. One was a girl and the other was...well, at least dressed like a girl. Fine, he figured. He could entertain their other cross-dresser, Rude.

"How could you have a party across the street from us and not invite us!?" said the female in a mini-skirt and sailor outfit.

"Uh...who are you?" asked Reeve, no idea who he was letting in the door.

"I'm Sailor Mars! And this is my side-kick, Miss Cloud!"

From the blush in the blonde's cheeks, Reeve knew for sure it was another cross-dresser. "Hey, I know you two. Cloud and Tifa, right? Cloud, what ever are you doing in that dress."

"It's not mine..." Cloud pushed his way in shuffling his feet in the uncomfortable high heels he'd borrowed from Tifa.

"What do you mean!?" asked Tifa. "It's got your name tag in it!"

"Well, at least that should liven up the party a bit," replied Reeve.

The new guests joined the party.

Reno lounged against a coffin. "You all are just lucky I didn't decide to wear my Birthday Suit for Halloween this year."

"Yes," said Tseng, turning to Reeve. "By the way, Reeve, you owe me 50 gil for losing that bet."

"Oh yeah..." Reeve looked down at the floor.

"Ha, ha, ha..." Reno laughed, taking another swig of beer. "Actually, I brought along this cat costume figuring the president, Hojo, the mayor, and all those other dignitaries were going to be here. Didn't want to go nude around them. But...! Since they aren't here..."

Tseng put both hands on Reno's shoulders and looked him in the eye. "Please, Reno!" he said in his most serious tone. "Please don't get out of hand tonight!"

Reno wrinkled his brow, not fully understanding why Tseng wouldn't share in the fun. "Okay, fine. You win. Besides, I wear my birthday suit to so many other parties I throw."

"Yes, we're aware of that," said Tseng, abandoning the conversation.

Reno leaned back against the coffin with one arm. His elbow knocked against the coffin, and the lid slowly began to rise. "Aaah!!" Reno jumped back. "What is it!?"

"The devil himself!?" shrieked Tifa, pretty much joining Elena in the coward's corner.

"Oh, no..." said Reno. "It's just the second musical guest for this evening. Everyone, meet The Damned. Now, it's time for a little vampire hunting, Tseng!" he wielded a wooden stake.

The menacing electric guitar began to play the intro before the squealing overdrive guitar kicked in followed by the wild drums from the punk band.

"What!?"

"Come on, play along, boss! We gotta have some kind of fun!"

"Uh...is that a real stake?"

"Don't worry, you're supposed to be the best Turk around! No one can catch you, right?"

The Damned's scary lead vocalist with pale make-up, fangs, and black nails took up the mic and began to sing just as the Turks scattered, chasing down Tseng.

"CATCH THE TIDE AT THE FLOOD
MY TV SCREEN IS SEEKING BLOOD
MY WALLS MY FLOORS,ARE RED TOO
THE NIGHT IS COMING AFTER YOU

I ONLY HEAR THE SILVER SCREAMS OF PAIN
HE'S COMING FOR YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN
THERE'S NO ESCAPE,THERE'S NO WAY OUT!"

Tseng ran into the botanical room and slammed the door shut behind him. "You have it all wrong!" he yelled. "I'm not a vampire! I'm a driving instructor from Johannesburg!"

"A what!?" asked Rufus in his pristine outfit, holding a crucifix.

"Oh, never mind! It's not the first time we've used lines from The Young Ones tonight!"

"CATCH CATCH THE HORROR TAXI!
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A VIDEO NASTY!
CATCH CATCH THE HORROR TRAIN!
FREEZE FRAME GONNA DRIVE YOU INSANE!"

"That's the botanical garden room, Tseng!" Reno yelled. "What are you planning to do in there? Photosynthesize!?"

Tseng shoved the door open, sending Reno staggering back. He darted out wielding a cactus plant so no one would try to get too close. He ran across the walkway while the punk music played.

Everyone chased him, Reno leading the pack wielding the stake. Next to him was Rufus with the crucifix.

Tseng ran into the rear bedroom and slammed that door shut. Everyone piled up against the door, the front people beating their fists on the door.

"Come on! Don't be a poor sport, Tseng!" Elena yelled through the door, pushing several of the guys aside to get her way. "All we want to do is drive a stake through your heart!"

"THE AXE IS SHARP AND THE BLADE IS KEEN
CREATURE FEATURES,SPIRITS ON YOUR SCREEN
SHADOWS FALL,IN ALL THIS GLOOM
YOU'RE NOT SO SAFE
IN THE SAFETY OF YOUR ROOM!

ALL I WANT IS TO MAKE A KILLING
TO DRILL A KILLER MIGHT BE REALLY THRILLING
WHY ARE MY VICTIMS SO UNWILLING
YOU CANT BE SURE THAT YOU WONT SEE ME!
CAREFUL WITH THAT AXE YOU MEANIE!"

"What is wrong with you people!" Tseng shouted. "You aren't even drunk yet, Reno!"

"I don't need to be drunk to get on your nerves, boss-man!"

Tseng gave up and let them into the room. He tried to escape upstream through the mob, but they tackled him down onto the bed. Reno loomed over him, hand with the stake raised high above his head and a wicked grin on his cat-face.

Tseng squirmed, afraid that the unpredictable young Turk might actually do it. "Don't you dare...!!" he growled, baring his costume fangs, making the scene all the more amusing.

Reno reared back and jabbed the stake forward. At the last second, he dropped the stake and leaned on his hands, positioned on either side of Tseng's head. He bent down and gave a mocking kiss to Tseng's cheek.

Tseng leaned up on his elbows and wiped his cheek. "Why do you keep doing that!?"

Reno sat back and shrugged. "Because it annoys you."

Tseng pushed Reno off of him, noticing that the music had stopped. "All right, all right. We had our fun. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go back downstairs."

The mob parted and let the vampire through. The band was gone, probably having retreated back into their coffins.

"You know..." said Rufus, "I swear we're having more fun without everyone else here."

"Are we still gonna have that wussy band coming to play ball room dance music?" Reno asked as he got off the stairs to the main room downstairs.

"They aren't wussies," said Elena. "I kind of think they are cute."

"Great! Just what we need; more hormones flying around this room!" snorted Reno. Elena smacked him.

"Well..." Rufus looked at his watch. "They should be here any minute."

Sure enough, the two guys walked into the room, all set to perform.

Cloud walked by, leaning in close to Tifa, "I should've know the bald guy and his gay friend would be here."

Rude perked up, something about the b-word that Cloud had said. Reno perked up also, and instantly got annoyed. He walked right up to Cloud and got into his face. "What did you call me!?"

Cloud was taken aback, unsure of what he'd said wrong. Across the room, Rude scratched his bald head. He walked up behind Reno and tapped the young Turk's shoulder. "Reno…?" he asked timidly.

"What!?" Reno retorted.

"……Am I really bald?"

Reno's eyes narrowed, and he humored Rude with a brief glance before slapping the bigger Turk across the face.

"I don't understand… Is that a yes or a no?"

Reno slapped him again.

Rude decided to remedy the situation by putting a cheerleader's pom-poms on his head.

"No! No! I didn't mean you! I meant...you know...those guys..." Cloud insisted. "Why? Is there a reason you should be taking offense?"

"Well, look at you! You're in a poufy dress!"

Erasure started the music, which was basically the bald guy starting the computerized music and the gay friend singing. The song was one of their slower ones, and it was in waltz measure.

Tseng looked at Elena in her hot outfit and 6-inch platform shoes. For the first time, he felt like he just might want to sink his fangs into something. While there were stars in her eyes, she also had the devious, teasing look of a seductress in her partially obscured eyes. Tseng pulled his eye mask off and looked at her. Elena, too, took hers off.

That was kind of the cue for everyone to take their masks off, as if they hadn't known who was who all along. Reno grabbed Cloud before Tifa could take him.

"Aw, no, Miss Cloud," Reno teased. "Girls should not dance with other girls."

"But I don't want to dance with you," Cloud protested.

"Oh, but I insist!" Reno said dramatically and teasingly, refusing to let his hand go. Lucky he was good at such a thing, throwing himself into situations no other sane man would think of doing. It was more for ridicule than anything else.

Rude in his cheerleader outfit looked at Tifa in an equally as short mini-skirt. Having heard Reno's comment, Rude just turned and walked away, one of his dreams taken away from him for the moment.

Rufus stepped right in and took her hand. Tifa smiled despite Cloud's scowl as the handsome prince / VP took her out onto the dance floor.

"No, I would never step into your shoes,
Or dance in my chamber without you.
I'm looking; I'm praying, for a place I can dwell in,
A place where my dreams can come true...
Yes, it was you, my friend, that made me turn around....
Yes, it was you , mein herr, that made me turn around...."

Tseng took Elena across the dance floor, respecting her in a different way seeing her in such a flashy costume. She no longer looked as delicate as the Turk he was used to seeing. Either that, or so many consecutive Reno-parties had cracked her little rookie-egg. They danced in perfect form while on the other end of the room, Reno was stepping on Miss Cloud's toes every other step. Rufus proved himself to be quite a dancer with Tifa.

The music may not have been as representative of Erasure's techno-pop style, but it was perfect for the dance. It was a little dark, but it fit the Halloween theme just fine.

"Were we never to be forgotten,
Lay down your sweet head and cry.
We'll live in dream-land tonight.
O, come all ye who are faithful,
Lay down your sweet head and cry.
Enter the valley of light."

Reno stepped on Cloud's foot one time too many, and Cloud slapped his face and stomped off the dance floor. Reno stood there, arms out to the side as if to ask what he ever did wrong.

Grinning bashfully, Reeve stepped out and offered his hand to Reno. Reno was hesitant, looking at the proffered hand all the while remembering the crack Cloud had made at two people other than him and Rude.

For once, Reno felt weak, but Reeve didn't hesitate to lead on. The cowboy and the cat... Very unusual. Reno put his mask back on. One, to look more like a cat in his costume, and two, a subconscious act to conceal his identity (especially male identity) while he danced with the tall Daniel Reeve, even if just for the spirit of the holiday.

"Just watch this witch dig her heels in the ditch
as the ministry waves her goodbye.
Awake from the dream with a start and a scream,
and the prisoner gives out a sigh..."

Apparently curious and able to hear all that was going on, Vincent emerged from his coffin once again. He sat on top of it and observed for a while, his arms folded and a look on his face that almost created a distraction.

"Yes it was you, mein schatz,
that made me turn around..."

"Turn around!!" someone yelled, not in melody with the music, but in startled horror.

Vincent just sat on his coffin and smirked.

A triad of small pumpkin-headed ghosts swooped down from the rafters sending party-goers running in all directions. They swung like a pendulum past the costumed guests then turned back towards their prey.

Tseng slapped the back of Reno's head. "Is this another of your pranks?"

"No!!" Reno said, a shade paler than usual.

"Oh, Rufus..." Tseng called, turning to the other possible suspect. Behind him, the three ghouls advanced again.

"Tseng!!" Elena ran and threw her weight on Tseng, knocking him to the ground just as the ghosts flew by.

"Damn, they're real!" said Rufus, drawing his shotgun from inside the folds of his costume. Reno and Rude also drew weapons.

Tseng looked up at the man sitting on the coffin. Those red eyes...that smirk... Kind of like it was worth it to awaken on just this one day to see it all played out. Rufus' shotgun fired, hitting one of the flying monsters, separating it from the pack.

Rude had a handgun but couldn't get too many good shots. Elena, Tseng, and Reeve were unarmed.

"Where's your meat cleaver when you need it?" Tifa asked her date.

Cloud just shrugged. "I guess I left it with my other bra."

"Mwahhahahaha...!" Vincent levitated in the air above the fray. "You have all picked the entirely wrong night to invade the Shinra Mansion."

"What's it to you!?" Elena snapped.

"Yeah!" said Rufus. "You never bothered us before! What's with you tonight?"

"Well, Hojo is not among you. There's something about the party when that...despicable man is here. Keeps me locked up in my coffin. For years he's threatened to throw the key to the basement into the safe upstairs where he keeps one of Professor Gast's more...ghastly creations, if you don't mind the pun."

"Call off the monsters, Vincent!" said Reeve.

"Ha!! Call off your party, and I'll consider."

"No one interferes with a Reno-party!" said the red-head Turk, strutting up to Vincent with authority.

"Fine! Then let me be 'No one'!" Vincent's body expanded and darkened, transforming into the winged beast, Chaos.

Everyone took a step back except Elena. "Vincent...!" Tseng grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back.

"Let's just go everyone! It's not worth dealing with this man!" Tseng insisted, being one of the two present who knew anything about what they were witnessing.

"Why not!?" Elena tried to get away, but the vampire man held her back. "Come on, dammit! We can't end it like this! The story hasn't even had its climax yet!"

There was a little scuffling noise coming from the snack table, and everyone saw a chubby little hand reaching up for more food. Chaos waited while everyone else scanned the area. Soon, a balding head with a little wisp of gray hair poked up from behind the table.

"Palmer!" Tseng yelled, startling the chubby man.

Palmer flailed his arms in surprise and fell over onto his butt. "W--w--wait!!" he screamed as several Turks cornered him. "It's all just a joke!!"

"You're a joke, Fatman!" Elena grabbed him by the suit collar.

"Wait!! Let me explain!!"

"Let him, Elena," said Tseng. "This oughta be good."

"Vincent, and the musicians...and the monsters...!! They're all just holograms created by Hojo in order to torment you guys! There wasn't really a storm in Midgar! This was all just a set-up!"

"Set up, huh!?" said Tseng.

"Is it my imagination, or is Palmer fatter than usual?" asked Rude.

"Of course he's fatter!" replied Elena. "He's been hiding under the table all night eating our food."

"Ugh..." Palmer bent over holding his belly and tooted a bottom-burp.

Tseng wrinkled his nose and took a step back. "Well, you had your fun, now please leave. And tell President Shinra we liked the treats better than the tricks."

Palmer waddled away from the snack table, farting a few more times along the way. "Okay...fine!" he pouted. "I'll leave. Just don't say I didn't warn you..."

"About what?" asked Rude.

Palmer passed a load more gas and every one yelled at him at once to leave. Scared, the chubby man toddled off and out of the mansion.

"Pathetic," hissed Tseng. "We spent the night being nothing but lab rats in their stupid little experiment. What's next? They're gonna lock us in here and make us watch the cheesiest movies ever made while they monitor our minds?"

The others just gave him an odd stare. Elena waved her hand in front of her nose. "Ugh... He sure knows how to stink up the place."

Not involved in the conversation with Palmer, Cloud and some of the others were back a ways, contemplating the monsters before them.

"I know how to get rid of these pests," said 'Miss' Cloud, readying a mastered materia crystal.

"No, Cloud!! DON'T!!!" Tifa yelled.

KA-BAMMMMM!!!!!

The Mansion exploded into a fireball from within, sending shutters and window frames out in all directions. Seemed Palmer had left behind quite a lot of methane which exploded when Cloud cast Fire 3 on the illusionary monsters.

The Turks climbed out of the debris with the others not far behind.

"You ruined my pretty dress!!" squealed Tifa.

"Your pretty dress!?" retorted Cloud. "What about my pretty dress!? You know how embarrassing it's gonna be to have to go back to Wall Market and have the guy make me another one!?"

"My mansion!!" Rufus bawled. "My glorious mansion!! It was supposed to be part of the inheritance!!"

"Ah, shut up," grumbled Reno. "It was a dump anyway!"

"Yeah, Ruffie!" said Elena, smacking the VP's shoulder. "Don't worry, they'll rebuild it, just like they did the first time. Complete with the broken piano if you'd like."

"All right, all right!" said Tseng. "Have we had enough Young Ones references for the night? There are some people out there who never saw the show, you know."

"Yes..." everyone said in unison.

"That's better. Now, let's get back to the good old fashioned parties we're used to having in Midgar every Friday night."

"Oh, you mean the ones that I make it a point to specifically embarrass you?" said Reno.

"Yeah, those ones...."

The End

Author's note: This Turk Party is inspired by ideas and suggestions from Chaos Theory.