© 2009, David William Johnson - All Rights Reserved
Allyson was mad at me...which was understandable.
I mean, after I'd killed the the Alec Baldwin I'd tried to comfort the hysterical woman he was with and things had kinda gotten out of hand...
...hmmm. Okay, maybe I need to back up a bit more to explain.
When the Alec Baldwin came in, I knew he was going to eat my brains, or try, anyway...
...nope, back a bit more than that ... at least two years worth.
Two years ago, Superbowl Sunday, and Alec Baldwin ... or at least, something that looked like him ... came on a commercial and announced that he was an alien and they were here to "eat our brains." Big laughs all around...
...yeah, well, it stopped being funny about three months later.
By June of that year, mankind was fighting ... well, calling it a "war" implies certain things that weren't happening and circumstances that didn't exist, but it's the best term I've got ... a war with an alien species we knew absolutely diddly about. Not where they were from. Not what they wanted. Not if they would ever go away if we "beat" them, whatever the hell that
would take or even mean.
And these aliens were quite adept at disguising themselves as ordinary humans ... any
ordinary human (though always male, for some reason) ... and there were apparently thousands of them all over the world. You'd be going along, minding your business, when suddenly some nondescript guy would turn and announce he was going to eat your brain. And they did too. Or, at least, victims of their attacks were found with nice empty skulls and not a trace of their former brain to be found anywhere.
And for some reason ... from what the small number of survivors of attacks had said ... they all would transform to look like Alec Baldwin right after their announcement...and right before they pounced.
By any standards of a "war," what the aliens were doing were mere pin-pricks. In the first year, less than three-thousand died worldwide. Mind you, that was three-thousand who died screaming as their brains were sucked out, or whatever. But apart from them, very few people (knowingly) saw them ... and usually only realized it was an alien when they up'd and vanished in front of them...
...okay, I know how this all sounds. It's like some bad 50's horror movie ... really bad. MST3K-class ... except it makes even less sense than those
things did. Of course, who was it who said "truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense?" Still...
I mean, it didn't make any sense from...well...any
angle you took at it, so almost no one believed the aliens were just here to "eat our brains." Or even that they actually ate
them (removed, sure, but ate?
), apart from a few extreme right-wing loonies who previously
had only the belief that Prince Charles was secretly a lizard-man from a lizard cabal that equally secretly ruled the world to sustain them...
...though, honestly, even that
makes more sense than what was happening.
And for what it's worth, no one knew whether the "original" Alec Baldwin was actually human or not ... not even the rest of the Baldwins ... as no one could find
him after the first brains started going bye-bye. In Vegas, the odds are currently four to three against his being human, for what that's
Around the end of year-one of the invasion (or whatever it was), mankind started to get some sort of response going. At first it was just a matter of always going about in groups of more than three, since the aliens didn't seem to like spectators while brain-eating ... probably because while stronger than most individual humans, three on one usually beat them. That's where those "small number of survivors" came from.
Then ways of detecting them, at least locally, were discovered. Ways which fortunately didn't
depend on them looking like Alec Baldwin ... or on me understanding how they'd figured it out in the first place. Or on me knowing how it works,
as I actually have no clue. But work they do, within limits...
...limits like being within about five, six feet of the alien and needed a 220 volt line to power it.
First government buildings, then big office buildings, stores, shops, and finally some homes started getting the detectors, usually mounted over the door in. Mind you, the additional power drain from all these high-voltage do-hickies caused three brown-outs in California and a black-out in New York before someone realized that, hey, they don't have to be on all
the time, just when someone's coming through a door!
Now that they were detectable, some sort of defense seemed to be in order. Guns were used at first, of course. But it wasn't like the detectors (especially at the beginning) never
came up with a false positive ... and it wasn't like the guys shooting never
missed their target and hit, say, the little old lady standing behind them. And you really couldn't be sure you hadn't made an "oopsie" until you saw if the body lying on the floor vanished or not ... which the aliens did, but which humans were never very good at.
It was fortunate, then, that someone discovered that a nice burst of high-voltage made the aliens sparkle, shake a bit and then vanish without the need to shoot leaden holes through them. And if it was a mistaken target, well, heck! There was even a good chance you could get their heart started again!
Hurray for our side.
The news started listing "aliens killed" as part of their nightly broadcasts (right under the already existing "brains sucked out" count), but honestly, no one was even sure if we were doing more than just sending the aliens back "home, even when they had shotgun-blast sized holes in their chests before vanishing. We had no alien bodies to examine ... live or dead. No blood samples (red or green...or peppermint, for that matter) to test ... no samples of...anything at all,
...and didn't that
put a crimp in CBS's plans for CSI: Brain Squad...
Not one bit of neat-O alien tech to reverse engineer. No spaceships seen flying overhead. Heck, conspiracy theorists couldn't even link them to anything at Area-51! There was just an unknown number of aliens who could look like humans ... or Alec Baldwin (and we had no idea of what they looked like as "themselves"). They could appear (and disappear) anywhere. Suck a brain or two for no conceivable
reason. Then merrily be on their way. Heck, we didn't even know how they got the brain out!
The skulls were always intact!
Armies, police, and finally even private security companies started putting out alien "defense" specialists, which is how Allyson and I involved in this on a more than "keep an eye out for Alec Baldwin" paranoia level. What with the economy being what it was ... and adding brain-sucking aliens to it did not
improve matters any ... we both needed a job and Pacific Security's posting for applicants promised to be interesting and exciting, what with alien invaders and "Defending the Earth" and all.
Not that we had much choice ... couples who were just entering their thirties and
newly unemployed during a recession rarely do.
So we applied...were hired...became Peter and Allyson: "Defenders of the Earth"...and, honestly, it wasn't very interesting at all.
Like I said earlier, from any sort of war
viewpoint ... or even a "crime prevention" one ... the alien's attacks were pin-pricks. Six, seven-thousand-odd total attacks spread over nearly two years and most of the world (but not Australia for some reason. Weird) meant that the people doing the "defending" outnumbered the aliens by about a hundred-thousand to one. Which in real-world terms meant that was about the odds against
you ever running into an alien. And that's just counting the people specifically
supposed to be defending against aliens. Throw the rest
of the world's population into the odds and...
...and what you did was stand near one of the detector-enhanced doorways out there, all day long, your souped-up taser by your side, and wait for that detector to beep...
...and do that the next day...
...and the next week...
...and the next month...
...and probably the next year, though most didn't last in the job that long.
You get the picture. For almost everyone involved, neither the word "interesting" nor "exciting" got anywhere within a hundred miles of you. You ended up buying the video game versions of "your" job just so you could see what it was supposed
to be like.
I preferred the "Wii" version myself, but the X-Box one has a lot of fans too.
Then, somewhat after our fifth month on the job, brains approaching the consistency of cottage-cheese from boredom, the gods of probability smiled and one bright Tuesday morning, while diligently protecting a medium-sized shopping mall, Allyson heard a sound she couldn't immediately identify...then realized it was the detector announcing that the man who had just come through the "Macy's" entrance wasn't.
Amazingly, given the months of inertia she needed to overcome, Ally actually reacted quickly and
correctly: Taser up, safety off, lunge and shock...
And an alien sparkled and vanished. Applause all around. Repeating the story to me that night, Allyson said she though he'd smiled at her before he vanished.
For the next two weeks I absolutely refused
to admit that I was jealous she had actually seen/banished an alien while I was still spending my time still trying to stay away at my post between announcements for Kmart shoppers.
Until one afternoon fifteen days after her encounter, the buzzer went off at that Kmart.
Unlike Ally, I'm afraid, it took me almost ten, fifteen seconds to react, then I fumbled with the taser for another five seconds before I could bring it up to shock...
...but the alien just walked up to me, changing into Alec Baldwin as he walked, and waited until I shocked him...
...and, yes, he did
smile as he dissolved away into sparkles.
We just thought we were lucky ... and pretty much the envy of everyone who worked at Pacific (which, up till us, hadn't had a single encounter for the entire company) ... but as you see, already we're up in the "won the lotto, twice!"
Then, sixteen days later, Allyson sees an "Alec" again
while guarding the same mall. Some electrified sparkles and he's gone...
...eleven days after that, I
get hit while in front of an auditorium...
...nineteen days and we get hit together
walking to the flipping office
...then a week later...
...after five months of this, we'd personally zapped thirteen of the aliens, which is about as likely as winning the lotto five or six times in a row...while never once
buying a ticket! And work had gone from "not very interesting at all" clear over to "
So one night we just looked at each other and I said what we'd both been afraid to say:
They were interested
And by now, they weren't the only ones either. We'd had seven "interviews" with various government organizations and were supposed to meet with this guy from Homeland Security on a weekly basis. One "interview" had included blood tests, an MRI, EKG, and repeated high-voltage shocks just to see if maybe we would disappear too, 'cause ... who knows ... we might be aliens as well...
...I mentioned work had gotten "way too
interesting," already, right?
For the latest "interview" they'd sent us Barstow ... no, I don't know why ... and we needed to stay at a motel for the night since it would be an all day affair tomorrow. Allyson had gone out to find a book at a nearby store because she'd forgotten to bring any of her own ... and the available cable options at the motel were charmingly pathetic.
Me, I'd brought
a book (and, yes, I teased her about that unmercifully) and thus was laying on the bed, farthest from the room's door ... the room had two queens ... reading away.
About twenty minutes after Ally had left, I heard the door lock beep and the handle turn. Well, that didn't take long
thought I and I turned over on the bed, expecting to see Allyson come in.
And instead, it's Alec Baldwin.
I'm off the bed and stumbling to the dresser that's against the wall at its foot before I notice he's followed in by a woman. Some what...distracted by thoughts of having my brain eaten, I don't notice much else besides the fact she's a light-skinned black girl, younger than me, who pretty much looked
as terrified as I felt
"Alec" continued on into the room, woman in tow, while I tried to first open, then rifle through a dresser drawer without at any time taking my eyes off him ... 'cause that's where our tasers were.
It was at about that point that tentacles started coming out of his suit ... about a half dozen of them.
The action got somewhat confused here ... which is a fancy way of saying "I don't remember what happened" - but it ended up with Alec grabbing me with his tentacles and dragging me towards him. Meanwhile, my
hands are desperately clutching at my taser, trying to get the stupid thing out of the case.
Which I do...with my face about three inches from his...which is smiling.
At this point, a movie hero would say something stylish like "you know Earth's electric eels?" pause while he nods, then follow with "Well this works nothing like them." Then zap him with the taser ... or even a handy exposed power cable, which would be more heroic - while he screams.
Me, all I managed was a bunch of incoherent vowels before I
screamed and jammed the taser against him...
...and discovered that alien tentacles are pretty good conductors.
I didn't pass out, exactly, but there were several long seconds there while the taser went off, but before he vanished, where I really, really
wanted to. Remember when I said they tested us with high-voltage shocks? This was worse.
Finally he dissolved into sparkles and I fell to my knees, panting like I'd just run a marathon and clamping my fingers to my jugular, trying to feel a pulse and see if my heart had stopped or not.
Gradually I realized that I was still alive ... and wasn't the only one on the floor. The woman had collapsed about five feet away from me near the foot of the bed, fear on her face, tears streaming down, and only not screaming because I think she'd forgotten how.
Now that little things like having my brain eaten were no longer a distraction, I noticed more about her. For one thing, by my standards ... hell, by anyone's
... she was stunningly
sexy. Slim but with lots of curves, full lips and eyes that though red at the moment, had irises the color of infinitely deep pools of honey.
If you went into the back of my head and dug up the version of "My Perfect Fantasy Girl" that dated from when I was sixteen, she'd be it. And, honestly, my tastes hadn't changed a lot in the last fifteen years.
She was wearing a dark red slinky dress that ... along with the shoes, jewelry and makeup ... said "night out on the town" in large, friendly letters. And the town in question wasn't Barstow. The only thing that distracted her from the vision of "My Fantasy Girl" was her makeup ... it was on way too heavy for my tastes. Mind you, it didn't help that her tears were making a mess of it. Correction: The only thing apart
from the fact she was crying, shaking and terrified.
I slowly got up, even more slowly walked the five feet, then nearly collapsed back down on my knees in front of her...
...near-electrocution. Not fun. Don't recommend it...
...anyway I took her hand in mine, trying to offer some comfort, or reassurance, or something
because a woman crying tugs at an absurdly
overwhelming need in me to try and help make it all better.
"What's your name," I tried, voice a little raspy from screaming.
It took a minute, but her eyes finally focus on me and her sobs pause as she considers the question.
"Rianna..." she began, then paused, shrugged and went "No, it's Rose. Just Rose."
She started crying again and I put my arms around her, feeling the front of my shirt getting damp with tears. After a few minutes, her regained her voice and began to try and explain just how
the hell she'd ended up entering my room with an Alec, lifting her face from my chest to look up at me.
Rose was ... as they delicately call it these days ... an "escort" for a company that worked out of the Valley. She'd originally started "escorting" to help pay her way through school...then had to keep it up when she found that these days degrees no longer translated into jobs very well. She didn't really like
what she was doing, but she liked eviction notices even less.
"Rianna," of course, was her "stage name" for this.
Earlier, at five-o-clock this evening, she'd gone on a call to a house in Eagle Rock, met her "gentleman" and they left in his car about fifteen minutes later. Then, after merging onto the freeway, her "gentleman" changed into Alec Baldwin...
"I was so scared, so scared. He just kept looking at me and smiling
the whole way. I screamed, but he just sat there and drove. I thought about jumping out of the car, but we never slowed down, not even a little, not until we got off in Barstow. Then his...tentacle came out and just sort of pointed at me, right between my eyes and I...
...I couldn't do anything
She rested her head again against my chest, tears nearly gone now.
The Alec finally drove into the motel parking lot and...suggested she follow him...which she did, right into our room here...
...at which point I knew what happened next...
...I just didn't have a clue why...
The aliens had never used humans before for...well, for whatever
the heck this Alec was using Rose for. Heck, they'd never even been seen to go in pairs even with their own
species. So why the hell
would one hire an escort, drive her a hundred miles, simply so she could follow him into my room?
Even by the standards of the wacky world of "alien motivations," this one was way out on the WTF fringe.
As I worked on the impossibilities of understanding Alec reasoning I continued to hold Rose against me, the last of her tears gradually sniffing away. In the back of my mind, though, a little worry was beginning to poke at me for attention...
...holding her was starting to feel...nice...
...especially when she started snuggling in closer against me.
Finally she finished explaining how she had ended up her and looked up at me with those honey-colored eyes ... reddened, but still beautiful ... and I felt something just *ding*
in my head. I don't know why, but before I knew it I'd bent down and kissed her.
Her eyes widened slightly, surprised and puzzled, then closed as she kissed me right back...
...this went on for quite a while.
Finally "quite a while" ended and we came up for air. Most of me was all tingly because, damn
, that felt good. But the little worry at the back of my head was now a big
worry, slapping across the face with a two-by-four.
I was in
a relationship, damnit!
Me and Allyson had been together as a couple for three years now. We were happy
together. We could say "I love you" without it being either a false sentiment or having a sub-vocalized "I think" added to it. Shoot, the only reason no one ever said the "M" word was because Allyson was still gun-shy after the six-month disaster that was her marriage with Steve. Hell, it didn't even bother me anymore when she snored at night!
But somehow, holding Rose, kissing
Right enough that not
kissing her felt even more wrong than cheating on Allyson...
...so I did it again, harder, with a lot more passion.
And hands, hands got involved somehow.
And all my worries just gave up when Rose responded in kind. It was the kind of kiss that could only end either in bed, or in a pair of cold showers...really
...or it could end when your girlfriend comes into the room.
Allyson lay on the other bed, nearer the room door, with her back to me and just radiating pissed. I was back on the far bed and trying desperately not to say or do anything that might make her more pissed ... which basically meant saying and doing nothing at all ... while also trying to think of something to
say or do
that would make things better ... and, yes, I could
see the conflict there, thank you very much.
There had been a hell
of a long silent pause when she'd walked into the room and found me and Rose...well, let's leave it at being "affectionate." Then there were some icy-cold questions from her which led me to try and explain what was going on. And the explanation went pretty well, I thought, right up to the point where I had to cover me and Rose on the floor, kissing...
...at which point things got a little incoherent. Which, since I couldn't even really explain it to me
is probably not a big surprise ... and since Rose and I were still...tangled together.
Rose ... who in the course of the last half-hour or so had gone from terrified to comforted to aroused to wildly uncomfortably embarrassed, untangled herself from me and gathered herself up.
She tried to apologize to Allyson. She tried to thank me for rescuing her. She tried to convince Ally that neither of us would see her again. She tried to reassure me that she was going home and would be safe. She tried to do all this as she was working her way to the door, while avoiding Ally's eyes...
...which was fairly easy, as the only person Allyson was glaring at right now was me.
Feeling very small ... and incredibly stupid ... under the icy-burn that Allyson was lasering over me I tried to explain again, or some more, or better.
Then tried to apologize. Then came to the realization that anything I could possibly
say would only make things worse, which led to a deep painful silence highlighted only by the sounds of Allyson going to bed ... still fully dressed, except for her shoes and jacket ... and me hesitantly laying down as well, just as dressed, but in the room's other bed. In my head I tried to work out why
I'd kissed Rose and just how
badly I'd fucked up with Allyson by doing so. Oh yes, and that "figuring out what to do to fix it" I mentioned earlier.
Forty-five minutes later, Ally was still deliberately not-sleeping at me and I still hadn't figured out a damn thing...
...suddenly, there was a noise ... and for pete's sake, don't ask me to explain "a noise of what?"
- and Ally gave a start and sat up...quickly followed by sliding back off her bed to stand between it and mine.
"What the fuck?!?" She pointed.
The small writing table that sat under the room's window was glowing blue. And it was the really weird blue glow of a hokey, 1970's-level special effect too ... I swear, you could see
the matte line around it.
Then the glow sort of...dripped
sideways...and the two chairs that went with the table developed their own glow. A pause...another sideways drip...and the end table next to Ally's bed went glow-y.
Then I was off my bed with a yell, joining Allyson in the middle, when I noticed the luggage rack and our luggage behind me had just gone blue.
The glow dripped from furniture to furniture, slowly surrounding us with a glowing blue motel room. Finally the two beds went blue and all the various glows began to flow into one another, completely encircling us, then contracting towards us.
All I could think was that something absolutely horrible was about to happen. I wrapped my arms around Allyson and clung to her...and she held on to me just as hard...
...then all I could see was blue.
There was a flash and more bad 70's SFX swirled around me for a good minute. Finally, the bad special effects faded, original blue glow and all, and I slowly regained my vision.
There was a brief dislocation as I realized I was no longer standing vertical but laying horizontal. And I was laying on
someone. Someone female. But it wasn't Allyson.
It was Rose.
But then again, it wasn't.
In shock, I just lay there on her for a long minute. Rather than the slinky dress, Rose ... or "Rose," I still couldn't shake the feeling of otherness ... was wearing a rather bulky gray sweater. Hair that had been professionally quaffed about half an hour ago was now simply pulled back in a pony tail. And if she had any makeup on at all, it was so light as to be undetectable.
"Peter?" She asked.
That broke the spell and I tried to scramble off her, face flushing with embarrassment. It took longer than it should, but finally I was sitting on the floor next to her, rather than laying on top, and hesitantly offering a hand so she could sit up too. She took it with nearly the tentativeness I had stuck it out with and pulled herself up.
I then managed to look around.
I was no longer in a motel room ... and probably not even in Barstow. We appeared to be in a old-school-style bookshop, you know, pre-Borders, with tall dark-wooden shelves that reached up to the high ceiling as they circled nearly the entirety of the long, narrow room. A room that was also nearly filled with freestanding shelves made of matching wood. Rolling ladders sat against each wall's supply of bookshelves, two of which had a couple of people on them, bringing down heavy books.
We were at the end of one of the rows of freestanding shelves, now sitting on a thick wool carpet. I could see sparkles of dust drifting down through the slanted sunlight that came in through narrow windows set high up near the ceiling.
Sunlight...something not often seen in Barstow at eleven p.m....
There were about a dozen or so people in the bookstore, casually wandering around, or thumbing through books. None of them seemed to have noticed ... or at least, didn't care
... that two people had suddenly just appeared in the cookbook section or whatever the shelves we were next to were.
A woman wearing a deep maroon jacket and equally deep blue skirt came around our end of the shelves, looked at us, then smiled slightly and gave a mock finger wagging at us before moving on. I could swear
she was doing the equivalent of saying "you two, at it again?"
That got us both off the floor and onto our feet, blushing ... though we didn't know why ... and going through the motions of dusting lint off ourselves.
Rose was wide-eyed in shock and I suspected a mirror would show me my face was similar. We both stared at the shop, at the people, heck, at that slowly descending dust for an embarrassingly long time. Then, like we got the same idea at the exact same moment, we headed over to the farthest and least populated corner of the bookstore.
Now standing right next to me, but still trying to stare at everything, Rose whispered "Peter, where are
I had no clue...and I was staring just as hard.
"All I can tell you is we're not, well, we're not where we were
when the blue glow hit." I thought about that a second. I knew what happened at the motel room, but didn't really know what had happened to her
, wherever she'd been at the time.
"Ummm, you did
see a blue glow before we ended up here, right?" I asked.
She looked at me kinda funny for a second, then nodded.
"Of course I did, it was all around the bedroom."
That meant, I guess, that she did
get home before...whatever happened. I wonder how she did that so quickly...and where
I looked up at the beams of sunlight and scratched my head.. "Wherever we are, it's far enough away from where we were that it's daytime here...or we moved in time too, or something."
She kinda huddled against me, shaking a little, and I put my arm around her. A part of my brain was yelling "that's how you got in trouble the last
time!" But most of it was still too busy going in circles screaming "WTF?!?" to care.
"Moved in time, but..." she swallowed a laugh. "Sorry, I was about to say 'but what about our parents, they were coming over tonight?' But that's the least of our problems isn't it?"
Yeah. A missed dinner is
kinda a minor...
There was a roaring sound in my head as my brain physically grabbed my attention and shoved it at the more important part of that statement:
But what about our parents...
I suddenly discovered that in certain circumstances, I utterly lack any
sufficiently emotive curse words.
(to be continued...)
There have been a lot of "stories I have no idea what to do with" put through POD
over the years and almost everyone here has done so at one time or another. So I guess, this time it's my time.
The following is based mostly on a dream I had a month ago (as I write this), with (almost) all the dream-illogic stripped out and an attempt to impose a more coherent narrative flow than dreams usually manage (since they - or at least, mine - tend to just cut
from scene one to scene twenty-four while just implying the action in-between is something "everybody knows"...which since I'm the only "everybody," they usually do). That said, it's still weird. Still, you might enjoy it - and maybe someone could tell me just what the heck
is going on, 'cause I'm lost...
So, 95% of the story goes by and - finally - we get to some obvious actual alternate histories. Or at least, alternate realities. And of course it's at this point I utterly run out of story.
I mean, thanks to the dream (and it's "everybody knows" way of handling a lot of the information) I know some
things from further into the story...just not very many...
...okay, I know three
One - the "Rose" in the bookshop is not the Rose from the motel room, nor is she from the timeline/reality/whatever that the bookshop's in. She's from a third timeline, one where she and Peter are an "item" rather than Allyson and Peter.
Two - there's apparently a "Rose and Peter" as a couple in the bookshop's reality as well - though where they went I haven't a clue. Maybe they're with Allyson...or the other (second) Rose's other Peter...and wouldn't that
be interesting...along with tricky to keep track of.
Three - whatever else it is, the bookshop is not
going to be one of those "nexus of all realities" shops. It's just a bookshop on a different timeline. We already have too many "nexus of all realities" shops in POD...and probably too many in fiction in general. For those who care, it looks, mostly, like the Hollywood Blvd "Pickwick Book Shop" in the 1970s, before "B. Dalton" bought them out (and well before it closed), with a touch of "Vromans" in Pasadena
, before they redid their
store in the early 90s, tossed in...
...yeah...and this is a pretty useless analogy for everyone here other than me, isn't it?
Anywho, this looks strongly like it could end up a sort of AH soap-opera, assuming that I could write such. For some reason, it also has an air of "hard boiled detective fiction" about it as well - though that could simply be because there's a first person narrator...and a "dame"...