Word On Divorce

More then half of marriages end up in Divorce… and more then half of these Divorce People, you will find sitting in the Church.

No matter what Denomination, you will have a group, many times a large group of members who have been touched by Divorce.

Yet many Churches do not specifically minister to the Divorce multitude. And many may not know how to reach them.

For years Divorce has carried a "Stigma". If you were Divorced, you were considered "less then" or as a "marked" person. And to some degree, this is still true today.

As a Minister, if you were to find yourself facing Divorce, providing the Divorce itself did not destroy you… the Body of Christ or Leadership just might have a part in destroying you.

Maybe not in all Churches, but still in many places today, you would find this to be true.

For as a Minister, "Divorce" would mean the end of your Ministry. You would be swept away into the shadows, becoming a "marked man", a statistic, and considered no longer qualified.

Likewise, the Church Member who is Divorced would find themselves in a similar situation, becoming a marked person, and in some places, unable to hold leadership positions.

Many times the Divorced person feels lonely, misunderstood, displaced, not knowing how they fit in the body of Christ.

Divorced has left them wounded, hurt, bitter, angry, devastated, confused, vulnerable, insecure, at a loss of identity and direction. Often in an attempt to put their life back together, many would jump into another relationship, just to wake up in the very situation, which they came out of. Thus, finding themselves in a cycle.

It has been said that Divorce is worse then grieving the death of a loved one. For with divorce, the person you have broken covenant with, is still walking around telling all your deepest secrets, personal failures and flaws, to anyone who would listen.

No doubt, Divorce is one of the most devastating tragedies a person could experience.

But God has a Word of Restoration, Healing and Life for the Divorced Man or Woman. A Word of Grace, Mercy and Unconditional Love.

As a Minister of the Gospel who has walked through this Dark Valley of Divorce, and has made my share of wrong decisions, mistakes, and seen my bad turn to worse.

I have experienced the loneliness, hurt, bitterness, anger, confusion, and a hundred other emotions flood my mind and soul. Seen the loss of friends and felt the rejection of others who didn't understand. And I could go on and on.

And as a Minister, the darkness of this valley was intensified, with feelings of rejection on a leadership level. Put on the shelf as a marked man, having no place to turn in my pain, bringing a whole new understanding to the phrase "being kick when you are down". Again, I could go on and on.

Yes, I understand that the covenant of marriage was not meant to be broken, and the Word says that God hates divorce (just one of many things God hates)

But, GOD DOES NOT HATE ME. And if you are divorced, HE DOES NOT HATE YOU. He still has a plan and purpose for your life. There is Life after divorce.

My life is a testimony of God's Restoration, Healing, and Unconditional love. And what God has done for me, He can do for you. God can take your ashes, and turn them into gold.

He has brought me out of a dark valley and set my feet on higher ground. God is now using my tribulation, affliction, trouble and pain to bring life, comfort and restoration to others.

(3) Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;

(4) Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

Bishop John J. Aguilar conducts Seminiars on Divorce, Restoration, and Living Single. To have Bishop minister at your Church, contact him directly, via email: