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"The Very Next Man"

"The Very Next Man"
from the musical, "Fiorello", by Sheldon Harnick and Jerry Bock.

I shall marry the very next man who asks me
You'll see
Next time I feel
That a man's about to kneel
He won't have to plead or implore
I'll say "Yes" before his knee hits the floor

No more waiting around
No more browsing through "True Romance"
I see the light
So, while there's a chance
I'm gonna marry the very next man who asks me

Start rehearsing the choir
Tie some shoes on my Chevrolet
Pelt me with rice
And catch my bouquet
I'm gonna marry the very next man

If he adores me
What does it matter if he bores me?
If I allow the man to carry me off
No more will people try to marry me off

No more living alone
No more cheating at solitaire
Holding my breath
For one special man
Why, I could smother for all he care
I'm through being wary
I'll marry the very next man

No more daydreams for me
Find the finest of bridal suites
Chill the champagne
And warm up the sheets
I'm gonna marry the very next man

And if he likes me
Who cares how frequently he strikes me?
I'll fetch his slippers with my arm in a sling
Just for the privilege of wearing his ring*

New York papers, take note
Here's a statement that you can quote
Waiting for ships
That never come in
A girl is likely to miss the boat
I'm through being wary
I'll marry the very next man


*This apparent condoning of domestic violence is said to have been written and performed sarcastically; nonetheless, it was subsequently changed. The original Broadway version is shown here.