Evil exists side by side with good.  That's what drives people mad & what the boddhisattva is all about.  I agree with Jessica Amanda Salmonson* about that.  Not only life & death, spirit & matter, existence & non-existence, but also good & evil are side by side & the other side of each other.  That is what is tormenting.  It torments the heart because you can't undo suffering.  You can't even wish it didn't happen.  It is inextricable from good and from the struggle to live and grow and thrive.  That knowledge is what is tormenting.  Maybe you can only have the knowledge if you already know that you yourself are a speck of dust.  Then the issue is to love that speck of dust and breathe life into yourself.  Embrace your fate.
 
 
 
 

*Jessica Amanda Salmonson, author of "Ou Lu Khen and the Beautiful Madwoman," which has this theme.