So I'm watching the season premiere of "Lost" and in the upper left hand corner of the screen THE WHOLE TIME are the words HURRICANE WATCH. And maybe it's just me but my bullshit meter is pegged right now. I mean, here I am sitting over 200 miles from the coast and at an elevation of 515 feet. There is no doubt in my mind that inclement weather caused by the storm system might possibly hit the Waco area. Maybe a SEVERE THUNDERSTORM or possibly even a TORNADO spawned by the atmospheric conditions. But there is no way a HURRICANE is going to hit Waco except in the loosest interpretation of the word, i.e., the weather system that was Hurricane Rita when it was crosssing the Gulf and blowing onto the coast continued inland and passed over Waco. I mean, even meteorologists have to stop calling it a HURRICANE at some point and start referring to it as the weather system formerly known as Hurricane Rita, right?

Of course, it COULD be that the TV station is just being conscientious and wants to make sure any of its viewers on the Gulf Coast are well aware that a hurricane is approaching. Somehow I find it hard to believe that Waco's Channel 25 has many viewers on the Gulf Coast. I really don't think their broadcast signal reaches much south of Bruceville-Eddy.

So what's this HURRICANE WARNING stuff? Are they saying the Waco viewing area needs to be evacuating? Give me a break. A HURRICANE EVACUEE WARNING might be more appropriate. Then we could do like those towns around New Orleans and have the cops set up roadblocks to keep them from escaping and firing guns over their heads to make the point just in case they try anyway. The Black evacuees, anyway. Like they did around New Orleans. I guess we could let the White ones or the ones driving nice SUVs through. Unless they are BLACK and driving an SUV, in which case it is probably, you know, stolen. Or am I just being too racially sensitive?

And if we don't have enough cops, then maybe we can call on some of those vigilante groups patrolling the Mexico-US border, bravely protecting our national racial purity and American Way of Life by shooting down poor unarmed illegal immigrants who are fleeing the low-wage sweatshops American businesses have set up south of the border and think maybe there are better-paying versions of those jobs here, when they have all been moved out to countries that don't know any better. Oh sure, maybe the illegals can get a below-minimum-wage job at Wal-Mart but ever since Wal-Mart got caught paying that "employment agency" to sell them illegals so the company could keep wages (and prices) as low as possible, Wal-Mart has gotten more careful.

But I digress. I was ridiculing the HURRICANE WARNING in Waco. Now, a SEVERE WEATHER WARNING might be justified. Maybe. In a day or so. When, you know, there's a chance of SEVERE WEATHER. And a TORNADO WATCH warning if the conditions get right for a tornado. And definitely a TORNADO WARNING if a tornado is sighted. But remember the story about the boy who cried "wolf?" If you want to be taken seriously, then act responsibly and only warn of a hurricane when a hurricane is POSSIBLE.

Personally I think it is all over-reaction. FEMA and the federal government did such a dismal job before and after Hurricane Katrina that now they are jumping through hoops to make it look like they know what they are doing. Except, of course, they don't. But maybe if they get started soon enough then when events catch up they won't be too far behind the power curve.

I think it is a good thing that the Texas Gulf Coast is evacuating. There is no doubt that if Rita hits as a Category 5 hurricane then it will do some damage. If it hits Galveston, which sits on a barrier island, then that place is pretty much history. If it hits full force into Houston then there's going to be a lot of damage there as well. I hope the Houston and Galveston people watching the season premiere of "Lost" had a HURRICANE WARNING logo on their TV screens.

But honestly, I can't get too excited right now. And they don't fool me with all of this Waco-area HURRICANE WARNING nonsense. FEMA probably still doesn't know what it is doing, especially if they are warning Waco about a hurricane. I wonder if they're getting a HURRICANE WARNING in Dallas-Fort Worth? I mean, it's only 100 miles north of here.

I will go ahead and fill up my van, though. The approach of a hurricane to the fuel refineries on the Gulf Coast is probably good for a $.30 price hike in anticipation of a shutdown. Then, when there is a shutdown, or the threat of a shutdown, they can hike the prices another $.30. And of course, afterwards the industry will be all nervous and everything and that will be good for maintaining the price hikes long enough to reap huge profits.

Yes. it's an ill wind indeed that blows no good, and the oil industry is making out like bandits from these hurricanes. I'll bet if there was a way for them to SCHEDULE hurricanes they would do it EVERY hurricane season. Sure, people might die and homes might be destroyed, but you can't make a profitable corporate omelet without breaking a few eggs. Serious Business People understand this. It's what makes them successful.

And that's what makes America great.