Bob, the cricket, Revisited
(you thought that would be the end?)
It seems that the story of Bob, the cricket, isn't nearly as complete as one would expect (hope?) when the story included the death of the cricket in question.

It turns out that Bob, the former cricket, has been leading a quite active afterlife according to an unnamed Implementor of Mystic Adventure.  As it turns out, Bob, the dead cricket, has come back to life...erm, well, not life exactly...has come back to the world as a ghost.  After a suitably long adjustment period following his death, a quiet time during which the tape measures of the world were enjoying a period of relative safety (more on that later...), Bob the dead cricket ghost came back to the world to carry on his...VENDETTA!

According to the above unnamed United Airlines employee, Bob, the dead cricket ghost wasn't all that pleased with his other-than-alive status, and embarked on a vendetta against the world in general, and decided that in order to impose as much chaos and terror on the world of the living, he would embark on a reign of terror unseen in the world since the invention of space itself.  In his new form, he would wander the world in a new guise, that of the Tape Measure Fairy.  Bob, the now dead cricket ghost Tape Measure Fairy would wander the world, slipping unseen into people's homes, searching through their belongings, and stealing any and all tape measures that he could discover.

As the above mentioned person discovered, the only way to prevent the utter devastation having your tape measures (or, single tape measure in her case) fall into the clutches of Bob, the dead cricket ghost Tape Measure Fairy, one (she) would naturally have to go completely against their (her) normally completely ingrained sense of organization, where all things including tape measures have their own distinct and correct place in the kitchen, and leave said tape measure IN A COMPLETELY WRONG PLACE (the bedroom) where Bob, the dead cricket ghost Tape Measure Fairy would never think to look for it at all.  Under normal (meaning, non-haunted-by-a-dead-ghost-cricket-Tape-Measure-Fairy) circumstances, said tape measure would NEVER EVER EVER EVER be ANYPLACE but the correct and proper drawer in the kitchen where tape measures and other things like matches and other small bits and pieces of miscellaneous flotsam are SUPPOSED to be kept (because that would be an indication of someone who was UNorganized and of course that couldn't possibly be the case).

And, in a show of brilliant deductive reasoning, the aforeUNmentioned person explained, it was even more imperative that the location in the bedroom of the tape measure MUST NOT under any circumstances be KNOWN to them (her) because (and this is the brilliant deductive reasoning part) that Bob, the dead cricket ghost Tape Measure Fairy, was in fact also PSYCHIC!  No, it is bad enough when malicious dead ghost insects prowl your proper drawers in search of tape measures, but he had the GALL to actually walk up and READ YOUR MIND in case you had the foresight to hide your tape measure(s) in COMPLETELY inappropriate places.

And so, the brilliant reasoning goes, that it was because of Bob, the dead cricket ghost Tape Measure Fairy psychic, that a normally COMPLETELY inherently organized person would OF COURSE not know where they (she) had put their (her) tape measure...

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Addendum to the previous story.

On further reflection, the unnamed Implementor informed me that, in reality, the story was absolutely ludicrous, and that in fact Bob, the dead cricket ghost Tape Measure Fairy psychic was in reality the Tape Measure Fairy long before his untimely death, and that my version of the story was therefor completely silly.
 
 


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