It Is An Easy Game To Call

by Tom Fakehany, NFHS, NCAA, PAVO and USAV Certified Official,
Rules Interperter California Central Collegiate Volleyball Officials Association  CCCVOA

Volleyball is a series of errors, which result in a winner.  "A person's a person, no matter how small!"  Theodor Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, would say.  "Children want the same things we want. To laugh, to be challenged, to be entertained, and delighted." Brilliant, playful, an always respectful of children, Dr. Seuss charmed his way into the consciousness of four generations of youngsters and parents. I am both one of those youngsters and parents. He helped me learn to read and thus to think and write.  In 1957, Dr. Seuss's "The Cat In The Hat" was published and went on to become one of the most popular books ever printed.  This beloved book like Geisel's other books combined an engaging story with outrageous illustrations, playful sounds and embraced many a truth.  How would Theodor Geisel have portrayed volleyball officiating?  What truth would the Dr. Seuss vangelize on the subject of Character or Ethics?  What wisdom would the Geisel pass on to anguished new officials?   With apologies to Theodor Geisel, I offer you

“It Is An Easy Game To Call”

It's an easy game to call
Ask anyone in the hall

If a volleyball hits the pocket on a slot on a court,
And the ball is touched by another as a very last resort,
Or the blocking of the hitter makes any attack abort,
Then the official doing the officiating has an error to report!

If a hit finds a player following their short crashing dash,
And a double fault is called which puts a spike in the trash,
And the protest is in vain 'cause the referee won't re-hash,
Then the situation is hopeless, and everyone's going to clash!

If the label on the cable on the top of the net,
Says the net is connected to the cables and yet,
Your antennas doesn’t hang correctly ‘cuz the cables are so thin,
Then they must be corrected often by the linemen in the gym.

If your view is all distorted by the side effects of light,
So your calls are somewhat wavy and sometimes not quite right,
Then you need to re-group and to continue with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the Referee's going to hang!

With the copy of your rule book getting sloppy in your bag,
And its innumerable instructions causing your brain unnecessary rag,
You will have to flash your memory and you need to ram this home,
It is time to hastily finish this match and rapidly leave the dome.