I believe I can lower the monthly air-conditioning bill for a normal home to about ten dollars a month. This requires a number of systems. Although there are a few systems I can’t talk about because I don’t see them advertised on TV, and therefore I’d be giving them away, there are a number I could have sworn I came up with long before they showed up on TV.

Using Well Water to Heat and Cool a Home:

Back in the 1970s, my uncle “Norbert” was a Florida well driller and my father was a design engineer, working for “Barko Hydraulics” up in Duluth Minnesota. Since well water in Florida is nearly seventy degrees, I explained to my uncle that he and my father could get together and not only drill two wells per home, (one to extract seventy degree water, the other to pump 80 degree water back into the ground) but also manufacture dozens of well drilling rigs to perform a large scale operation, while making me a highly paid partner in the business.

My uncle explained to me that he’d already tried getting rich off that very concept but the government made it illegal. But then, years later, I noticed that both my father and uncle tend to poke holes in any inventions I’d attempt to get the home-team up and running with.

There is no home-team. My relatives appear to be nothing more than a bunch of psychotic backstabbers, either making a mess for me whenever the opportunity arises, or giving everything away to a hypnotic government surveillance operation that makes a mess for everyone.

For instance, sometime after my heating and cooling your home with well water idea was so easily extinguished, I started hearing rumors of a city waste disposal project in the Miami area which involved pumping trash into the aquifer. Which raises the question, is it more harmful to pump trash into the aquifer, or potentially raise it’s temperature a degree or two with very large scale city cooling projects.

In a 1990s TV production, “This Old House” proved my well water concept works well, during their island of Nantucket project.

Using Storage Tanks Instead:

Since it’s illegal to pump warm water into the ground, although I have no idea what environmental study brought this law into being or if this law actually exists, I quickly realized that I could go into the storage tank business. Since a hot summer day in Florida averages ninety five degrees, and just about always drops to the mid seventy degree mark at night, I would simply set my AC systems to extract all the cool air in the middle of the night and save it in cold water tanks for daytime use.

Of course, I live under a hooded police SWAT team that drugged me up and made incriminating police surveillance videos that have yet to find their way into court, if one of my neighbors or companies stealing my ideas doesn’t murder me first. This means my finances are cut short as my materials are held back, and I can’t do a thing with any of my inventions.

Ice Water Lines:

With cold water tanks in the ground, you simply pump this cold water into your home and use it as is, by way of simple radiators somewhat resembling automotive radiators. This setup means you’ve eliminated the large freon line running into your house, as well eliminated that big blower unit, taking up indoor real-estate that could be used for something else. Although this is a full house system, it does resemble that recent TV advertisement involving a single room AC system that circulates cold water from the AC unit outside, through a tiny radiator inside, hidden behind a picture frame.

Of course, since I’m also a motor home designer, I’ve also designed a set of kitchen cabinets that run off this system, thus eliminating the need for a bulky refrigerator compressor and condenser unit where indoor real-estate is at a premium. In fact, each cabinet can be used as a refrigerator, a freezer, or simply a cabinet

Roof Vent System:

I’ve noticed the attic in the house I live is about a hundred twenty degrees in the summer. Even with a foot of insulation on the ceiling, the air conditioner has to work harder than it needs to.

One day, I was explaining to my father how we could bring that attic temperature down to the outside temperature by putting up a layer of plastic on the roof trusses, mimicking a double roof, and then funnel that hot air up and out of vents at the peek of the roof. A small exhaust fan could then maintain the attic to the same temperature as the outside air.

Like the list of ideas my father poked holes in over the years, generally becoming vague memories as someone else gets rich off them, when this system showed up on TV, my father couldn’t remember our previous conversation on the subject, but for some reason I could.

Heat Exchange Units:

Although you could easily cool a well insulated Florida home, with the well system I mentioned above, and a couple of fan driven automotive radiators, without running and energy gobbling AC compressor, maintaining air quality is another issue. For instance, when I first heard that people were getting sick by sealing all the cracks in their homes that allowed hot air to get out in cold climates, I came up with a simple heat exchange unit that provides fresh air without having to heat or cool it, since the exiting air does that. Of course, since then, “This Old House,” and just about every other do it yourself show, now demonstrates them on a regular basis.

Back in the 1970s, I designed a list of tiny compressors which I needed for a list of projects I was working on, such as those adjustable firmness mattresses sold on TV today. Although I don’t presently recall designing my compressors with pumping up automotive tires in mind, they were apparently repackaged and sold this way.

Once I started to spend all of my time sitting behind a computer, I gained a lot of weight. In fact, I gained a hundred pounds. In order to lose this weight, I need to run a couple of miles everyday.

Since I don’t particularly enjoy the act of running, I tend to daydream a lot when I run. One of my daydreams involves saving all the kinetic energy from my forward stride in springs or hydraulic cylinders. I came to realize, with the right foot apparatus, somewhat resembling shoes, I could run a mile for every thousand feet of energy I normally expended.

I must have been talking in my sleep when my daydream showed up on the David Letterman show, and out on the TV circuit, because I don’t remember working out the spring mechanisms on my computer. Although I have been working on a well pump that can produce large amounts of water while expending an amazingly low amount of energy.

I’m sure I didn’t share the idea with my father, because he’s just a double talk fool who can’t even put drill bit’s back in the holder, sitting at arms length on the workbench. In fact, since my father’s motto is, “a clean work area needs to be filled with unused tools, buried under useless junk as quickly as possible,” there’s simply no reason to even think about building prototypes for public consumer items, much less becoming a military contractor, selling high-tech spring shoes as part of a hydraulic exoskeleton, carrying hundreds of pounds of ammunition and body armor, kicking in the doors of Baghdad’s freedom fighters or terrorists, depending on who exactly is giving and who is receiving the bloody noses that escalate hostilities.

I know from experience that a fat guy, running around the yard, develops back problems. My solution was to either stop running until my back heals, or build a back brace that can adjust to whatever vertebra is out at the moment. Of course, since all of the workspaces are filled with junk, and I have no wish to make room for more, I opted for lounging around and merely thinking I could solve my back problems with an air pump back brace.

That’s another invention, which I didn’t discuss with anyone, that suspiciously showed up for sale on TV.

Speaking of realizing where the next vein in the goldmine is, and watching someone else mine it as I helplessly stand by, a few years ago, I came up with a single workstation for a blender, mixer, food processor, juicer and any other appliance used in the kitchen. Instead of all these items running on separate motors, therefore doubling their required storage space, my single motor design will run them all. At any speed and torque level.

I only recently saw my invention marketed on TV.

In 1975, when I first moved to Tampa Florida from Duluth Minnesota, I lived with my sister and her then husband “Jim Seibel.” Although Jim was (compared to me) getting by extremely well as a Sears repairmen, the only job I could find was as door to door encyclopedia salesman, out of an office located down the street from the main FBI office in Tampa.

Judging from the crazy people I met, just knocking on doors, I sometimes think that job was a Candid Camera scam, kind of like finding out the psychotic comedy routines I made up on the fly to encouraging drunks in bars were in fact part of an FBI sting operation, connected to a number of movie studios using me as a concept writer, as this so-called police surveillance evidence is used to determine my wages.

Anyway, my brother in law liked the idea of starting a small business, so I came up with the idea of speaker pictures as a consumer item. Although I was convinced that there was an inexpensive way to produce sound waves without the need to vibrate a paper cone with a magnetic coil, a half a dozen cheap, low profile speakers, and a simple wall mounted speaker cabinet, protruding a couple of inches off the wall should sell.

By some strange coincidence, somewhat resembling a long list of similar coincidences, within a week of our new business plans, Jim stopped off at the Sears “Merchandise Return Center” after work and got a wonderful deal on a set of used speaker pictures resembling the ones we were about to manufacture.

My sister and her husband soon decided I’m a freeloader and kicked me out. I ended up in North Miami Beach Florida, doing upholstery work near a few recording and movie studios. Since my employers only played country and western music in their shops, and I preferred rock and roll, I came up with a nice headphone arrangement that involved tiny speakers.

I was attempting to put a group of investors together when I apparently was drinking at home, all by myself one night, and ran out of cigarettes. While walking to the store, I seemed to have bumped my head while getting into a police car, and that whole, getting rich off tiny headphones idea got all fuzzy and mangled in my head.

Nearly two decades later, while I was building a custom interior for the Prime Minister of Japan’s Boeing 747, I heard a story of who came up with those first tiny headphones. It seems there was this delivery boy who spent a great deal on time in Japanese elevators, listening to specially designed background static that acted like a safecracker, gaining access to the door to his willpower.

Apparently, against insurmountable odds, this mere delivery boy took his simple spark of an idea and turned it into a billion dollar enterprise.

During my 1980s police interrogation, in which the police use a subliminal soft touch machine to accuse you of crimes that you can only dispute to a hidden microphone, I would from time to time find the TV is used much like a psychological ink-spot test. In one particular “convince your interrogator that you’re really an inventor and not the person who the police are whispering in your ear“ segment, I remember watching a 1960s B movie named “Hello Down There.” It completely blew my mind that I felt absolutely compelled to tell my electronic interrogator that the movie prop furniture was exposing my plans to get rich off my speaker furniture designs.

But how could that be? I was in the 1980s, watching a 1960s movie, freaking out about the government extracting an invention from my mind that I couldn’t have thought about before the 1970s.

Anyway, although I have seventeen years of general upholstery experience, I do have cabinet shop experience and machine shop experience. In other words, I’m capable of mass producing the most beautiful and rich sounding speaker sofas, chairs, tables, coffee tables, and so forth, that money can buy.

In the early 1980s, my uncle and father got together and built automatic propeller building machines, and then mass produced ultralight aircraft propellers. Although the ultralight business had been around since the 1960s, when the ‘Weed Hopper’ was sold in the back of “Mechanics illustrated,” the Weed Hopper relied on a very inefficient prop, which dramatically reduced engine life.

Since I spent a lot of my spare time doing things like designing million speed automotive transmissions in the 1970s, as well as designing ultralight aircraft before I saw my first Weed Hopper ad in the 1960s, it seemed an odd coincidence that the gear reduction unit, that stopped the engines from burning out and therefore allowing every faze of the ultralight business to suddenly boom, looked so much like a number of my doodles.

Anyway, once my father and uncle got together and raked in fifty thousand dollars a month, compared to the five dollars an hour they paid me, my father one day told me how aircraft needs a low gear to get up to speed just like a car. Since both my uncle and his children were pushing me out of the company, and I saw a chance to take advantage of my father's industrial machine-shop experience, where we could get together and build some automatic transmission manufacturing machines, by which I could easily make a million dollars a year, I told my father that I had a very slick, extremely light, million speed hydraulic transmission we could mass produce. My father then explained how someone else was already marketing that very invention under several US patents.

Today, my father doesn’t seem to recall our twenty five year old conversation, or his nasty habit of poking holes in my business plans to the point of psychosis. Speaking of psychotic conversations, resembling a police interrogation designed to remove the victims ability to keep track of events as a crime gets pinned on the prearranged fall-guy. . . It seems anything I tell my father is his to give away, as he and/or all those hooded vigilantes [whom the Polk County Sheriff’s Department insist can’t possibly exist, much less conduct an extortion and murder program, under any color of office or police authorized community crime watch program, where, based on fraudulent police files, all my property keeps getting lost in the police surveillance evidence room] have their own special ways of undermining all of my business plans.

Although the extortion and murder program I live under tends to mutate like a flue virus, it does have a number of reoccurring themes. For instance, the FBI created a list of acquaintances who will swear to anything bad about me they‘re told to, as opposed to I talk in my sleep and come preloaded with evidence from the horse’s mouth, worked out decades ago by a professional hypnotist.

On the talking in my sleep battle front, the part about “You’ve been talking in your sleep and we’ve been selling off whatever we find “ that I’m having a problem getting a handle on is, there is a list of inventions I’ve been working out in my mind that haven’t shown up on TV yet. I’m not complaining that this very public police strip search didn‘t sell off all my property. I’m just thinking of the possibilities for this occurrence.

For instance, on a recent episode of the “Eureka” TV series, a scientist liked to plagiarize his fellow scientists work by way of a memory erasure device. He simply waited until his victims talked about their technological breakthrough’s, erased their memories and acted like he made the technological breakthroughs himself.

Anyway, I’m also a foldout furniture designer with seventeen years of general upholstery experience. Five of these seventeen years I’ve worked for a couple of complete aircraft interior design, manufacture and installation companies. In other words, I could build a house whose interior looks like it belongs in a Boeing 747 owned by Bill Gates, or several other richest people on the planet. But that’s just copying any jet interior you happen to point out.

On the other hand, I have a list of designs like no others I’ve seen anywhere. I can’t talk about them because every home improvement center on the planet will soon be selling them, as I one day die of complications due to the type of medical coverage connected to ringing ears, low wages and the various death row games connected to the Covert US Prison System.

If you know of anyone who has the money and political muscle to corner the market while keeping me in the profit loop, I’m ready for a long term business partnership.