He opened his wallet and showed me his memberships cards to AAA, Kaiser Permanente, Albertson, Safeway  24 hour Fitness Center and Costco.

He said "I don't need any more memberships!" I stared at him for a moment and what I saw was the grandchild of Jewish immigrants who came to America four generations ago.

This man has freedoms beyond the wildest imagination of Immigrant grandparents. When they got off the boat they lived in small Jewish neighborhoods.  They worked hard in the sweatshops of New York so that one-day he could live large. 

All is open to his choice.  He chooses his own values, he chose his own career, his own lifestyle and his own politics. He is living the gift of American freedom.  He has achieved a sovereign self that is unencumbered.

He can decide to express and celebrate his individuality any way he wants. He grew up watching television programs that exposed him to icons of individualism; western explorers, pioneers, James T. Kirk and Superman.  He absorbed these ideals of manhood who were all unafraid to step out on their own to follow the road less traveled.

This man prizes his ability to think and decide for himself and make his own rules. The basic assumption of freedom is that there is self to be free, free to dress, think, attach or not.

So why did he join our temple?  Because now in his maturity he has discovered the shortcomings of the independent, autonomous soverign self, life is lonely. 

This man is lonely, he loves his freedom but he finds it difficult to connect. 

He is a successful man.  He has owned a television set for many decades.

His first one was black and white, then color, then a Sony Trinitron, then a  flat screen and now a plasma screen only now he admits that there is nothing on. He has grown weary of searching for distractions from his distractions.

Commercial America doesn't offer rich red blood cells that nourish and heal, it only offers him plasma.

 He joined our temple because he because he feels something instinctual. Somehow he feels different in the temple.  He told me that when he travels to a foreign country, he asks the Concierge and cab drivers where the schul is?

And he goes there on a Friday night and sits among the strangers whose language he does not understand until they sing the shema, then he looks at them and smiles. Then he feels safer and connected in a strange place but he confides to me Rabbi I haven't come to Temple when I am back at home.  I urged him to make his domestic policy match his foreign policy.

Judaism defines self as attached, with the power to form intimate bonds. Judaism's idea of the individual is that more we are needed the more life feels important.

Judaism knows that there are two kinds of relationships. The I - it, where I am an end in and of myself and you.you are useful to me at times so I deal with you.  This is distinct from the I- Thou relationship where I recognize that you too are and end in and of yourself.

Judaism teaches that the life of the I thou is much richer than the hollow life of the I -it. In Genesis we hear God say, "It is not good for man to be alone".  We need to be connected, rooted, and attached. 

In Leviticus we read Kedoshim Tihiu kee kodesh ani You Be holy because I the Lord your God am holy. What is this holiness that we are commanded to emulate.  It is only achieved in family circle of close and attached friends.

The Shabbat wine we bless is not sacred in and of itself alone. What is sacred are the bonds we share as we gather as a group to recite Kiddush. It's not the wine but the bonds of the people. The three letter root of the word for holy is Koof -Dalet- Shin.  Many familiar words grow from this root.

When two lives merge into one destiny in marriage, it is called kidushin. When we marry we literally point to the one we love and announce in front of witnesses and God that 'You are Holy to me. Harey at midueshet Lee.'

Even the catastrophe of death cannot sever the bonds that bind us together.

We recite Kaddish   over those who we loose to announce that we have opened our self and formed around our self a larger circle of intimate concern.

This man joined us because he is tired of the circle of his intimate concern ending at the tip of his nose.  We gather in our sanctuary to worship God.  God has an infinite circle of intimate concern.  Imitating God we know that our spiritual wealth comes when we draw our circle around us wider and wider.

The opposite of kadosh -holiness is the Hebrew word  hol, that which is not sacred. In Hebrew it also means sand. A grain of sand has no cohesion. No bonds. In Yiddish we say 'alayn zha stayn' he is alone like a stone.

He joined because he is tired of only being a consumer, tired of trying to survive as an atomized individual.  He is more weary of his isolation than he is wary of connection and now he wants to belong.

And when he joins us he will get a membership application and a bill.  But he knows that his Temple membership is not a fee for service.  Yes he has a space a seat and a ticket and he has a hard working board of directors who keep us well running and solvent.  He would not join us if we did not have our organizational and fiscal act together.

He joins us because he wants to activate his membership in the brit.  The covenant between the Jewish People and God that has been intact now for over 4000 years, it is his and he can claim it.

Temple Beth Shalom is not a business. I am not a businessman and Torah is not a commodity. You are not a consumer.   You will belong the temple the temple will belong to you. 

We are partners in the covenant of holiness pursuing the deepest belonging.

The world we celebrate in this our Temple home is a world of Jewish Meaning.

It's depth and texture is built upon Learning, Torah, Worship, Celebration, Mutual support and acts of compassion. 

This connects us to our past; This connects us in the present. This is the only relationship with the enduring power to bind us to our future.  We come here to become like the God we worship. 

Our God. The God who embraces an infinite realm intimate concern.