Don’t
burn family, friends with a shameful toast.
By Michael Varma, ATMG, ALB
Two summers ago I witnessed a truly tragic toast – and as a
professional entertainer with more than 25 years of experience, I
know a train wreck when I see one.
The best man at a wedding, seemingly sober, grabbed the microphone
and with a booming voice launched into a notably naughty limerick:
“There once was a groom from Nantucket….” The guests were
not amused. The newlyweds, their parents and grandparents
were mortified by the off-color verse. This soon-to-be ex-friend
thought his humor would be enjoyed by all, or perhaps he crumbled
under the pressure of public speaking. Whatever the case, his
major faux pas reinforced my resolve to provide practical tips on
toasting etiquette.
Toasting Advice
The purpose of a toast is to shine a gentle spotlight and pay
tribute to the honored guest or event. Toasts typically proffer
well wishes, good fortune, long life, health, happiness, sage
advice or other positive thoughts. Composing a toast that is
eloquent, poignant, whimsical and witty can be a challenge but
worth every effort.
Begin by introducing yourself, state your first and last name for
non-family members, explain how you’re related to the guest of
honor, then present the toast. Follow the three Bs for delivering
a successful toast – be brief, be bold, be done:
• Be Brief. “No
toast except his own should last longer than 60 seconds” was
Mark Twain’s golden rule. Keeping your remarks short gives your
toast a greater impact and gets you on and off the stage more
quickly. Well-crafted words and a succinct delivery will be
appreciated by your audience and make your tribute more likely
remembered for years to come.
• Be Bold. Stand
proud and speak loud. Ensure that everyone in the room, including
folks sitting in the back row, can hear your tasteful toast.
Belting it out to the rafters may not be needed; a quick
run-through before the crowd assembles in the room will help you
gauge how far to project your voice. It can also help calm your
frayed nerves and provide valuable practice time.
• Be Done. When
finished, sit down. Resist the urge to take a bow or return for an
encore. Smile, nod and accept any applause or acknowledgements,
then refocus the spotlight on the guest of honor.
A well-presented wedding toast will have every father of the bride
raising his glass with glee and every mother dabbing her eyes –
a true “tissue moment.” The following toast, which I wrote for
my brother’s wedding, is simple yet heartfelt:
Your marriage
makes a perfect start
For every life is
a work of art
Paint a picture
filled with bliss
Treasured in your
lover’s kiss
Wedding vows are
truly strong
May yours last
forever long
Advanced speakers can add a humorous story about the guest of
honor after they explain how they know the honoree and before
the actual toast. I recommend avoiding dirty jokes and risqué
stories. Veer toward the white wedding light with words that
praise and inspire, and you’ll never be seen in the Toasting
Hall of Shame.
Michael Varma, ATMG, ALB, is a
member of BergenMeisters Toastmasters club in Orange, California.
He can be reached at www.michaelvarma.com.
Raising Your Glass in Rhyme
In his book Tasteful Toasts, Michael Varma writes
100 toasts to be used for a variety of occasions. They are written
in the form of poems and limericks. The book can be purchased
through the Toastmasters International Web site, at www.toastmasters.org/shop.
Varma also has a Web site for the book: www.tastefultoasts.com.
Following are a couple of the author’s creations:
Birthday
Tenderly we joke and tease
Candles blown out with a wheeze
Sharing in your birthday feast
We wish you 50* more – at least!
*Substitute 20, 30, 40, 60, 70, 80, 90
New Year’s
We greet the day with cheers galore
For Father Time is at the door
Now we rejoice
In one clear voice
Shout Happy New Year and many more