Things Caught in the Web

May, 2002 April, 2002 March, 2002 Feb, 2002 Jan, 2002 Dec, 2001 Nov, 2001 Oct, 2001 Sept, 2001 Aug, 2001 July, 2001 June, 2001 May, 2001 April, 2001 March, 2001 Feb, 2001 Jan, 2001 Dec, 2000 Nov, 2000 Oct, 2000 Sept, 2000 Aug, 2000	August 28, 2001 - Tuesday Garbage dump to be given National Landmark status . Let me start planning my vacation now... There is now a college that is providing an accreditated program in Astrology . No, really. Which reminds me of a comment... You know how dumb the average person is? Well, remember, half the population is dumber than that . August 20, 2001 - Monday If, by chance, you have a pet rattlesnake and it isn't eating; don't try to take it for a walk after force-feeding it an egg . It may not be happy. (How do you take a snake for a walk anyway?) Someone is now suing Jesus Christ. On behalf of his motor scooter . And, since he can't locate Jesus, he wants a few million from the stock exchange in damages. Who takes these cases? And, in another entry from the list of "Products We Never Knew We Needed, we present the Popcorn Fork . A fork? This is just an article about a seismic event in Australia but it ranks a clear 10 on the Star Trek Technobabble Scale™ with the phrase "concentrated slugs of infolded Tesla ray-wave E/M energy, emitting light (photons) as a by-product of interaction with air molecules to provide a hologramlike spatial form". Um... Huh? August 14, 2001 - Tuesday A robotic lawn mower ! Another gadget! I want one! Now, how to convince my wife I need one... August 12, 2001 - Sunday Apparently there is a specialized airline in Florida that you can charter for the express purpose of joining the mile-high club. OK, why not. Except their last clients attempted to hijack the plane to Cuba . Then it crashed. Of course, I'm relieved to hear that the plane offered clean sheets. August 10, 2001 - Friday So how did you find this site? Someone has collected the search requests that led visitors to their site . Some of these are weird enough that I almost regret disabling logs here... Remember how North Dakota wanted to change their name (since the "North" part made it sound like they were... in the north)? Well, Dave Barry had to comment on it as well . It seems that someone that they are calling the Mole Man decided to dig a hole in his front yard. A 60 foot hole. He stopped because he got bored. Which is 59 feet further than I would have dug before reaching the same conclusion. And here we have an example of what they (whoever "they" are) call Fortean Phenoment. It seems that corn husks are falling from the sky in Kansas . Probably dropped from those UFOs over Turkey. Not that corn husks are that rare in Kansas, after all. And it isn't like they have tornadoes or anything like that around there that could possibly blow corn husks around. Nah, that can't be it... Finally, someone has declared that having a drink is a fundamental human right . And it's about time too. I think I'll go celebrate after work. August 9, 2001 - Thursday Today's UFO sighting comes to you from Turkey where they are looking for Atlantis. Or something. August 8, 2001 - Wednesday Here is someone who has developed a Dog-to-Human translator . What's that Lassie? Timmy's trapped? Under a rock? Up in Dead Man Canyon? The fact that some coach decided to use crocodiles as "motivation" in swimming training is odd enough, but the fact that the story comes from Darwin , Australia puts it over the top, I think. This guy wants to turn himself into a tiger . Literally. It's nice to have goals... I think. August 6, 2001 - Monday Here's an outfit that will make a personalized action figure of you . So you can... play with yourself, I suppose. There is really no need to comment further on this. Really. Not really sure what this is, but it is really kindo of neat. You know, I had never realized what a problem garden gnome oppression was around the world. Who would buy that ? More fun with eBay.

Dennis Matheson - tanstaafl@earthlink.net Last Updated: July 20, 2006

Things Caught in the Web

August 28, 2001 - Tuesday

Garbage dump to be given National Landmark status . Let me start planning my vacation now...

There is now a college that is providing an accreditated program in Astrology . No, really. Which reminds me of a comment... You know how dumb the average person is? Well, remember, half the population is dumber than that .

August 20, 2001 - Monday

If, by chance, you have a pet rattlesnake and it isn't eating; don't try to take it for a walk after force-feeding it an egg . It may not be happy. (How do you take a snake for a walk anyway?)

Someone is now suing Jesus Christ. On behalf of his motor scooter . And, since he can't locate Jesus, he wants a few million from the stock exchange in damages. Who takes these cases?

And, in another entry from the list of "Products We Never Knew We Needed, we present the Popcorn Fork . A fork?

This is just an article about a seismic event in Australia but it ranks a clear 10 on the Star Trek Technobabble Scale™ with the phrase "concentrated slugs of infolded Tesla ray-wave E/M energy, emitting light (photons) as a by-product of interaction with air molecules to provide a hologramlike spatial form". Um... Huh?

August 14, 2001 - Tuesday

A robotic lawn mower ! Another gadget! I want one! Now, how to convince my wife I need one...

August 12, 2001 - Sunday

Apparently there is a specialized airline in Florida that you can charter for the express purpose of joining the mile-high club. OK, why not. Except their last clients attempted to hijack the plane to Cuba . Then it crashed. Of course, I'm relieved to hear that the plane offered clean sheets.

August 10, 2001 - Friday

So how did you find this site? Someone has collected the search requests that led visitors to their site . Some of these are weird enough that I almost regret disabling logs here...

Remember how North Dakota wanted to change their name (since the "North" part made it sound like they were... in the north)? Well, Dave Barry had to comment on it as well .

It seems that someone that they are calling the Mole Man decided to dig a hole in his front yard. A 60 foot hole. He stopped because he got bored. Which is 59 feet further than I would have dug before reaching the same conclusion.

And here we have an example of what they (whoever "they" are) call Fortean Phenoment. It seems that corn husks are falling from the sky in Kansas . Probably dropped from those UFOs over Turkey. Not that corn husks are that rare in Kansas, after all. And it isn't like they have tornadoes or anything like that around there that could possibly blow corn husks around. Nah, that can't be it...

Finally, someone has declared that having a drink is a fundamental human right . And it's about time too. I think I'll go celebrate after work.

August 9, 2001 - Thursday

Today's UFO sighting comes to you from Turkey where they are looking for Atlantis. Or something.

August 8, 2001 - Wednesday

Here is someone who has developed a Dog-to-Human translator . What's that Lassie? Timmy's trapped? Under a rock? Up in Dead Man Canyon?

The fact that some coach decided to use crocodiles as "motivation" in swimming training is odd enough, but the fact that the story comes from Darwin , Australia puts it over the top, I think.

This guy wants to turn himself into a tiger . Literally. It's nice to have goals... I think.

August 6, 2001 - Monday

Here's an outfit that will make a personalized action figure of you . So you can... play with yourself, I suppose. There is really no need to comment further on this. Really.

Not really sure what this is, but it is really kindo of neat.

You know, I had never realized what a problem garden gnome oppression was around the world.

Who would buy that ? More fun with eBay.

Dennis Matheson - tanstaafl@earthlink.net

Last Updated: July 20, 2006