Lava's A Many Splendored Thing

While searching for Moya, the crew is forced to make a landing on an unknown planet which is being used as a storehouse by a group of criminals. Rygel's attempt to collect a bit of treasure for himself results in most of the crew being trapped underground where they are caught between the angry criminals and the molten lava of the planet's interior.

We may have to stick Granny in a home. - John Crichton
I think we should burn her. - Ka D'Argo
You burn your old folks? - John Crichton
No... it just sounded like a good idea. - Ka D'Argo

No living creature could produce that! - Sikozu
You haven't met many Luxans, have you? - Chiana

I should be doing this. - Sikozu
Excuse me? I'm the one that put my hands in the vomit. You want a turn? Go get your own vomit. - Chiana

You know, maybe we should let her try. - Ka D'Argo
Nah, she's gonna get shot. - John Crichton
And that would be bad? - Ka D'Argo

Shoot him in the buttock; that's big. - Noranti

Someone is in my ship. - Ka D'Argo
It's got to be the girls, but how did they get your bodily fluids? - John Crichton
Don't go there. - Ka D'Argo

Same dren, different planet. - Ka D'Argo

Life sucks, don't it. - John Crichton
Well, quite often in fact. - Ka D'Argo

Lo'La flies through space, the Farscape 1 still being towed behind it. Everyone is crowded into Lo'La's cockpit.

There is some concern over the fact that they have not yet found Moya but Chiana and Rygel are more concerned over the fact that they do not have any food. Sikozu wonders aloud why they are so hungry after only three days without food; she apparently is not hungry herself.

Noranti has been mixing some substance together and offers a bit to everyone. She tells them it is "Jilnak", a restorative. John and D'Argo seem dubious but Chiana and Rygel enjoy theirs. Eventually everyone eats some except Sikozu who gives her piece to Rygel.

Apparently a short time later, Lo'La lands on a rocky planet and everyone staggers out. Rygel, in obvious distress, flies off on his thronesled while everyone else who ate any of the Jilnak becomes violently ill and vomits repeatedly. John is angry at Noranti who points out that none of them are hungry any more.

Immediate crisis over, John and D'Argo go looking for Rygel, who has gone into a nearby cave. Noranti follows them.

Inside, it is discovered that the cave is full of containers; many of which are full of jewelry and other riches. A few open pits of lava are also visible. Rygel has been distracted from his more immediate concerns and is examining the riches. John takes the item Rygel is looking at away from him and puts it back in its container but Noranti has by now opened another container and found some medicines. She says the markings on the container are familiar.

Rygel reaches for the item John had taken from him and his hand hits a beam of light. Instantly he is half-encased in a column of some crystalline substance (which we later learn is called armarek). The entrance to the cave is sealed by the same substance, trapping Chiana and Sikozu outside. Dozens of similar lights spring from the floor and John realizes that the cave is trapped.

D'Argo attempts to blast through the armarek blocking the entrance with his Qualta Blade but there is no effect. John attempts to free Rygel, who is once again feeling his intestinal distress, but is unable to do so. They are interrupted by the arrival of another container via a dumbwaiter type device and the sound of approaching voices. They hide, dragging Noranti with them but leaving Rygel stuck in the armarek column.

The voices belong to two scraggly, Sebacean-looking humanoids who are complaining about having to move the crates around. They discover Rygel and report to someone that they have found an intruder. Rygel claims to be alone.

Noranti has been talking to herself trying to remember the origin of the markings on the containers and finally identifies them as belonging to a group she calls Tarkan Freedom Fighters. She insists that they are peaceful and do good works and seems to think the two (who are named Frick and Frool) are members of that group. She insists that John and D'Argo put their weapons away but they aren't convinced.

Noranti breaks free from John and goes to greet the two. She tries to greet them as friends and, when they ask, tells them about John and D'Argo. John and D'Argo are both extremely annoyed but exit from where they have been hiding. John tries to bluff his way through, saying that Noranti is his crazy granny and Rygel is his "dog", but two more of the "Tarkans" appear and open fire on them.

John and D'Argo return fire but their shots are ineffective, being blocked by an energy field device being worn by the "Tarkans". John is frustrated and he and D'Argo retreat down a corridor, dragging Noranti with them. Three of the "Tarkans" run after them.

The remaining "Tarkan", Gleeg, produces a large gun-like device which dissolves part of the column holding Rygel (though Rygel is still partially trapped within the armarek). He puts Rygel in the dumbwaiter device and sends it off.

Outside, Chiana and Sikozu are concerned since they can see the weapons fire but cannot get to the others. Sikozu suggests using the cannon on D'Argo's ship to blast the armarek sealing the opening but Chiana reminds her that only D'Argo can operate the ship. She goes to look for another entrance while Sikozu looks after her in disgust.

Rygel arrives at the other end of the dumbwaiter shaft and finds himself in a large room dominated by a lava pit in the center. Several containers are scattered about.

An armored figure emerges from the lava pit, carrying another container which is also encased in armarek. The figure moves to the dumbwaiter and glares at Rygel then picks him up.

Gleeg arrives and tells the armored figure, Ra-Keel, that there are three other intruders. He asks Rygel how they found the cave but Rygel insists they just stumbled on it. Ra-Keel holds Rygel over the lava pit and asks again, slowly lowering him towards the lava. Rygel panics.

He is interrupted by a call from another of the "Tarkans" who tells him that he has cornered John and the others. Ra-Keel gives Rygel to Gleeg, tells him to keep moving the crates and leaves.

John and D'Argo are still running, dragging a protesting Noranti behind them. She continues to insist that their attackers are Tarkan Freedom Fighters and that they are peaceful. John points out that they are still shooting at them.

Noranti claims she can negotiate with the "Tarkans". John and D'Argo are trapped and finally agree to let her try. She immediately says she is tired and collapses to the floor, asleep.

Ra-Keel contacts the "Tarkan" who has them trapped and asks where he is. The "Tarkan" says there is some purple writing on the wall and Ra-Keel tells him to shoot the writing. The wall explodes, killing the "Tarkan" in a ball of fire. Lava begins filling the room.

John and D'Argo, dragging Noranti, climb as high as they can but the lava is still rising. D'Argo points to another ledge but John says that Noranti can't make the jump. D'Argo picks up Noranti and throws her, still sleeping, to the ledge.

John then says he can't make the jump. D'Argo looks disgusted and throws John across as well. He then jumps himself but almost falls. He saves himself at the last minute by performing his tongue strike but wrapping his tongue around Noranti's neck. She slumps forward, pulling him to safety. John says he didn't know D'Argo could do that and D'Argo replies that it just takes practice.

Rygel contacts John over the comms and tells him what is going on. Ra-Keel hears him and, picking up Rygel, demands to know who John is.

Noranti keeps interrupting, saying that she knows who the Tarkans are and that their fighting is a mistake. John, going along but obviously not convinced, tells Ra-Keel that they will take Rygel and leave. Ra-Keel says they can, but they will have to come get Rygel since he is not feeling well. He will send two of his men to lead John and the others to him. He then knocks Rygel unconscious.

John and D'Argo both agree that they will not go unarmed. John plans to knock the guards who come for them unconscious with a rock. D'Argo isn't convinced that they will be able to do so since the guards are wearing shield belts but John says the belts appear to protect against pulse fire but not other types of energy and so the plan should work. Noranti suddenly announces that she wants to help.

Meanwhile, outside, Chiana has returned from a fruitless search for another entrance. Sikozu has had the same lack of success in getting Lo'La started. She complains that the ship is keyed to D'Argo and there is no override sequence. Chiana suddenly gets an idea and says that they don't need D'Argo, just his DNA. She runs outside, Sikozu following.

Chiana finds where the others vomited and identifies an enormous pile as belonging to D'Argo. (She even tastes it to be sure.) She then shoves her hands into the vomit.

Back aboard Lo'La, Chiana is now able to operate the controls and is able to activate the ship following Sikozu's directions. However, Sikozu does not know how to fire Lo'La's weaponry and Chiana starts pressing buttons at random. When Sikozu complains Chiana suggests that she go get her own vomit.

In the caves, Noranti has been mixing some sort of powder which she blows into the air. John and D'Argo are dubious but agree to let her try. They hear Frick and Frool coming and hide.

Frick and Frool walk through the powder in the air but do not notice anything. Noranti then steps out of hiding and starts dancing in front of them. The two do not see her but instead see an exotic dancer. They are mesmerized by her performance as she slowly removes parts of her clothing and do not notice as John and D'Argo step up behind them. They are both knocked unconscious.

Noranti finishes her dance and suddenly tears open her top, exposing herself to John and D'Argo. Both stare in horror for a moment before John flinches backwards and shields his eyes. D'Argo simply screams. Both take several steps backwards before taking a final look back, as if to confirm what they saw. Both again flinch and shield their eyes.

Back on Lo'La, Sikozu has coated her own hands in vomit and is now trying the controls. She manages to aim Lo'La at the cave entrance and power up the weapons but they abruptly power down again.

John and D'Argo are now wearing the shield belts formerly worn by Frick and Frool, who have now regained consciousness. They confirm how the belt works and D'Argo tests them by shooting John, to his annoyance. John and D'Argo then herd Frick and Frool back the way they came, telling Noranti to wait for them.

Meanwhile, in the lava chamber, Ra-Keel and Gleeg are still retrieving containers and clearing the crystal coating off of them. Rygel moans to one side. John and D'Argo arrive, pushing Frick and Frool ahead of them. John offers to trade Frick and Frool for Rygel but Ra-Keel simply shoots them.

John starts to step forward but D'Argo stops him. Light beams like the ones in the upper cave appear surrounding them and trapping them in place.

Ra-Keel demands to know who they are and what they are doing there. As he speaks, he fills a bucket with lava and flips drops of it onto both John and D'Argo, burning them slightly. He says that they are not Tarkan Freedom Fighters; they are actually robbing them. He also says that John and D'Argo can identify them and so he cannot let them go.

Back on Lo'La, Chiana and Sikozu are arguing with each other. Sikozu gets angry and slams her hand onto the console. Lo'La's main cannon fires, blowing open the entrance to the caves.

Ra-Keel appears to be about to throw the entire bucket of lava onto John and D'Argo when the explosion occurs, rocking the entire cave. John tells him that the explosion was caused by the rest of their team blowing their way in and that he should let them go. Ra-Keel hands the bucket of lava to another member of the gang and tells him to throw it on John and D'Argo if they try anything then he and Gleeg leave to investigate the explosion.

Outside, Chiana tells Sikozu to try to get the deception shroud activated. She then leaves the ship and enters the caves.

Ra-Keel and Gleeg walk through the caves, arguing with each other. Noranti appears and follows them, unnoticed by either. From their conversation she learns that they are here to rob the Tarkans and are not Tarkans themselves.

John and D'Argo try to convince the guard to let them go, with little success. Rygel, struggling to get out of the armarek, falls over and rolls across the floor. The guard turns towards him and John shoots the bucket in his hand, spraying lava over his side. The guard screams.

Rygel rolls into the trap and is completely encased in armarek. John and D'Argo step over him, escaping the trap. They knock out the still screaming guard. John gets the device used to dissolve the armarek and starts trying to free Rygel.

Ra-Keel and Gleeg, still arguing, continue through the caves. Chiana sees them and follows carefully behind them.

On the surface, Sikozu finally manages to get the deception shroud activated, just as Ra-Keel and Gleeg exit the cave. Gleeg goes to check on their ship while Ra-Keel remains by the entrance.

John is having trouble freeing Rygel as the armarek device seems to run out of power. D'Argo leaves to get the one from the upper chamber.

After he leaves, the guard regains consciousness and attacks John. The two struggle and the guard grabs the armarek-encased Rygel, apparently planning to hit John with it. John hits him with the armarek device and the guard falls backwards into the lava pit, taking Rygel with him.

John shoots himself with his pulse pistol then sticks his hand into the lava, proving that the shield will protect him from the lava if it is already activated. Harvey appears at this point, saying that it is too dangerous and that Rygel is probably already dead from the lava or from lack of air. John points out that the armarek protects the crates and so should protect Rygel and that since Rygel is an amphibian he can live for a while without air. He tells Harvey to leave and starts wading through the lava, searching for Rygel.

On the surface, Gleeg returns and reports their ship is safe. They speculate on what caused the explosion then both of them return to the caves.

Chiana encounters Noranti who tells her that Ra-Keel and the others are "evil men". She wants to contact the real Tarkans but Chiana isn't even sure how to work the radio on Lo'La. Noranti leaves to go somewhere and Chiana goes into the caves.

John is still wading through the lava and finds Rygel but before he can exit Ra-Keel appears behind him and attacks him, causing him to drop Rygel again. The two begin to fight, still in the lava.

In the upper chamber, D'Argo is looking for the armarek device when he runs into Gleeg. The two begin to fight as well. They struggle for a bit but D'Argo shoves Gleeg into the dumbwaiter device. The device activates and Gleeg is decapitated.

Still fighting in the lava chamber, John sees Gleeg's head bounce from the dumbwaiter and into the lava pit. John has been shooting himself periodically with Winona to keep his shield activated and Ra-Keel has commented on it. Ra-Keel manages to knock Winona from John's hands. John attempts to reach it but Ra-Keel holds him back as his shield belt begins to run down.

Chiana appears in the lava chamber and John yells for her to shoot. She obligingly shoots Ra-Keel and is surprised when John yells for her to shoot him. She does, re-powering his shield just in time.

The fight continues until John shoves Ra-Keel off balance at the edge of the pool. Ra-Keel falls, his head landing on one of the light beam traps. His head is instantly encased in armarek.

John resumes his search for Rygel, Chiana periodically shooting him to keep the shield active. D'Argo arrives just as John finds him. They free Rygel and he immediately rushes off to relieve himself, much to the discomfort of everyone else in the room.

Noranti arrives with the real Tarkans, to whom she says she has explained everything. One of the Tarkans identifies Ra-Keel as a traitor and tells John and the others that they are free to leave, as long as they take a still helium-farting Rygel with them.

Later, everyone is on the surface with Lo'La. John thanks the Tarkans for a shield belt and the Tarkans thank Noranti for some Jilnak. Upon hearing this, John and D'Argo rush everyone aboard Lo'La and they take off.

Once in space, Lo'La reports that they have received a message. The message is from Pilot, telling them that he and Moya are waiting for them and looking forward to their return. Everyone seems happy to hear from Pilot and happy that they are, finally, returning home.

The crew has been in Lo'La and searching for Moya since Resurrection (What Was Lost - Part 2). They have been separated from Moya since the end of Dog With Two Bones when everyone left to go their separate ways and Moya was pulled away through a wormhole.

What was Noranti's intention in giving everyone the Jilnak? Was making everyone sick the intended effect?

How did Noranti contact the Tarkans? Did she or Sikozu figure out how to use Lo'La's radio? For that matter, how did the Tarkans get there so fast? Were they somewhere else on the planet?