2.06 - The Way We Weren't

Chiana finds a Peacekeeper video recording from three cycles ago which shows a squad of Peacekeepers murdering the previous Pilot of Moya; a squad which includes Aeryn! Now Aeryn, Pilot and the rest of Moya's crew must come to terms with what happened three cycles before. This seems to be something that Pilot and the others are unable to forgive but Aeryn isn't the only one with a dark secret in their past.

We all have things in our past that we'd rather not have on instant replay. - John Crichton

You must have noticed that at times I've... kept you at a distance. - Aeryn Sun
Many times. Vast distances. - John Crichton
There's a reason for that. - Aeryn Sun
Just one? - John Crichton

You know, we've never seen Pilot like this before. Chop off an arm, the best he can muster is a few snotty remarks. - John Crichton

I don't think Pilot's in a Leviathans for Dummies kind of mood right now. - John Crichton

Pilot's Etch-a-Sketch isn't operating with all it's knobs right now. - John Crichton

We've come a long way since then, Pilot. And we've still got a long way to go. Take the journey with me. - Aeryn Sun

(Note: A large portion of this episode occurs in the form of flashbacks. Flashbacks will be indented relative to the rest of the text. Hopefully this will make it clear as to if the scene is occurring in the present or the past. DM)

A squad of helmeted Peacekeepers is seen moving rapidly along a Leviathan corridor. They enter the Pilot's Den and the squad leader, Velorek, confronts the Pilot there. Velorek offers the Pilot one last chance to cooperate with him on a project. The Pilot says that she and the Leviathan refuse and Velorek says something to her in her native language. She is shocked and asks if he means what he said, that he has a replacement Pilot.

They are interrupted by the arrival of Crais. Crais demands to know what is happening and Velorek says he is offering the Pilot one last chance to cooperate. Crais asks if the replacement Pilot has arrived and, when Velorek acknowledges that it has, orders the rest of the squad to fire. Velorek starts to object but the other Peacekeepers open fire with their pulse rifles, killing the Pilot. Velorek stands with his back to the Pilot until the weapons fire ends.

Crais orders them to remove the old Pilot so that the new Pilot can be installed. Velorek reluctantly agrees and Crais leaves. Velorek orders the squad to start removing the dead Pilot's remains. The Peacekeepers complain but remove their helmets to start work. As they do, the camera focuses on one of them. It is Aeryn.

The camera pulls back to reveal that John and Chiana are watching the events on a display. Chiana says that she found the recording chip while going through some debris on an upper tier. John distractedly comments that the Peacekeepers must have kept cameras running all the time to record what was happening but Chiana interrupts him.
"Crichton," she says, "that is Aeryn. She's been aboard Moya before."
John continues to stare at the image as Chiana continues.
"She killed a Pilot!"

We next see everyone on Moya present and watching the same recording. It ends and Aeryn admits that it is her in the recording. D'Argo, Rygel and Zhaan are very upset and demand to know why she never told them she was on Moya previously. Aeryn replies that she had been on hundreds of Leviathans and didn't realize that Moya was one of them. Chiana asks if this means that all non-Sebaceans look alike to her.

John comes to Aeryn's defense and says that three cycles was a long time ago and that Aeryn has changed since then. The others say that they were on Moya three cycles ago and demand to know if she ever tortured any of them. Zhaan says that she cannot stand to see the slaughter of an innocent Pilot and Aeryn sarcastically says that it must be all right to cut off one of their arms instead.

Rygel makes another insulting comment and Aeryn tries to launch herself across the table at him but John pulls her back. Chiana looks around and asks why everyone is so surprised and reminds them that Aeryn was a Peacekeeper. Aeryn says she was and that things were very different then.

We see the hanger bay of a Leviathan, crowded with ships and Peacekeepers. Aeryn and Velorek are present and he compliments her on her skills as a pilot and says that he is glad she was assigned to fly his transport. He also asks why she did not ask what their cargo was during the entire flight. Her reply is that the only question she wants answers for is why she was reassigned from Prowler duty.

A crate is removed from the transport and Velorek removes its covering to reveal Pilot.

The others express surprise that she saw their Pilot being brought on board and that it was possible to replace a Leviathan's Pilot. She says it can be done but is difficult. D'Argo leaves with the recording saying he will put it away so that Pilot will not find it. Zhaan says she wants to be alone for a while and leaves, as does Rygel. Chiana leaves shortly afterwards to check on Zhaan, leaving Aeryn and John alone.

John asks if Velorek's job was to replace the old Pilot with their Pilot and Aeryn admits that it was and that he was to do so any way possible.

Pilot says something unintelligible and Velorek says that Pilot's language is too complex for translator microbes to handle. He starts talking to Pilot and gently stroking his cheek to try and calm him down.

Crais arrives and Velorek suddenly pulls out a device and uses it to shock Pilot, ordering him to get control of himself. Crais asks if there are any problems and Velorek insists that everything is fine. Crais does not seem convinced.

Aeryn suddenly breaks off and tells John that everything was over cycles ago. John tries to get her to talk about it but she leaves.

Crais, Aeryn and Velorek are walking along a corridor. Crais tells Velorek to get the new Pilot ready but Velorek says he needs more time. Crais accuses him of delaying to mask his own incompetance and threatens to replace him if he does not get the new Pilot ready in time.

Aeryn tries to talk to Crais and requests to be transferred back to Prowler duty. He simply looks at her for a moment then walks away. Velorek tells her that they are going to be stuck with each other a while longer then he walks off also.

Two other Peacekeepers appear, covered in slime. They taunt Aeryn about being "too good" to do the dirty work of digging the old Pilot out with them. They wipe some of the gunk from their uniforms onto her chest and face. They say she is one of them now and she pushes them aside and leaves.

Aeryn is in the cargo bay working out with her punching bag. She hits it hard enough to knock it over and then collapses onto the deck in tears. We can see that she has beaten her hands bloody. John arrives and holds her as she cries. He asks what has happened and she begins sobbing.

Slightly later, the two of them are sitting on the floor facing each other. She asks John if he has noticed that she tended to keep him at a distance and he acknowledges that he has. She tells him that Peacekeepers have no lasting relationships. Reproduction is assigned. They have brief relationships for "recreation" but nothing that is long-term. She had relationships from that time but they were all painful to her.

Velorek is standing in a darkened cabin. Aeryn enters and removes her jacket, dropping it onto the bed. Velorek comes up behind her and grabs her, putting his hand over her mouth. They fall into the bed and he removes his hand. She smiles and they kiss.

Aeryn tells John that she and Velorek were lovers. John is uncomfortable and says that he never heard her use that word before. She tells him that she felt something for Velorek that she never felt with anyone else she "recreated" with.

John says he is surprised because Velorek seemed somewhat sadistic and she quickly corrects him, saying that he wasn't and that that was the problem. She starts to continue but they are interrupted by Pilot, who shows them the recording chip and insists that Aeryn come talk to him. John wonders how Pilot got the chip but Aeryn leaves to go talk to Pilot.

Aeryn arrives in the Den and Pilot angrily accuses her of killing the previous Pilot. She tries to express remorse to him and reminds him that they share DNA.
"That is why your betrayal cuts so deep!" he yells. He grabs her by the throat and, lifting her off the floor, starts to choke her.

Velorek and some Peacekeeper technicians are in the Den with Pilot, who is being lowered into position. Pilot asks if he has arrived and Velorek tells him that he is in his new home. He tells him that the Leviathan's name is Moya.

Pilot asks if Moya knows he is there and Velorek says that she does not, she is under sedation and will remain so until he is bonded to her. Pilot is surprised and says that bonding will take a cycle or more but Velorek says that that is only for a natural bonding and that they do not have time for that. Pilot realizes that Moya does not know her former Pilot is gone or that he is there. Velorek enters the console where the technicians are working and, reaching into a pocket in Pilot's side, pulls out a handful of nerve bundles. He and the technicians start attaching them to Moya.

Responding to Aeryn's screams, John is running through the corridors. He encounters D'Argo who asks what is happening. He tells him that Pilot got the recording chip and that Aeryn went to talk to him. D'Argo expresses surprise and says that he had the chip hidden in his cabin. He and John run for the Den.

Arriving, they find Aeryn still being held off the ground by Pilot. He sees them and air begins rushing from the chamber and the air blast shoves D'Argo and John against the wall. Pilot throws Aeryn from him and stops the air blast. Aeryn is thrown against the wall and Pilot tells them that Moya will not move until Aeryn is off the ship.

D'Argo, Chiana and Rygel are in Command. D'Argo is angrily trying to get manual control while Chiana has Rygel in a headlock. She demands to know why he gave the chip to Pilot and Rygel says that Pilot deserved to see it. Chiana instead says that he did it so that Pilot would owe him a favor later. She grabs his earbrow and twists it, causing him to cry out in pain.

John enters and D'Argo says that Pilot is sticking to what he said and that they haven't moved. John says that when the others cut Pilot's arm off he didn't do anything but in this case he has shut down the ship and tried to kill Aeryn. He wonders out loud how bad things were back then.
"I wouldn't know." says D'Argo pointedly. "I spent the whole time with my collarbones chained to the walls of my cell." He stalks off, leaving an embarrassed John behind.

Zhaan is treating Aeryn's wounds but none too gently. Aeryn thanks her for her compassion and Zhaan says it is odd hearing her talk about compassion. Aeryn asks if she agrees with Pilot, that she should leave Moya. Zhaan nods in agreement. Aeryn gets angry and starts throwing clothes into a bag and says that she will be in her Prowler and gone within an arn.

Zhaan seems somewhat embarrassed and apologizes but Aeryn says that she did what she did and won't deny it. Zhaan tries to make some slight amends.
"You had no choice back them." she tells Aeryn. "You did exactly what was expected of you. In that world, that was the only kind of Peacekeeper you could be."

Aeryn is lying in bed with Velorek. She starts to get up but Velorek says that they have a bit more time and asks her to stay. He says that they have been together for some time and asks if she enjoys being with him. She admits that she does and that she does feel something for him but that they will not be together forever and that they will eventually be reassigned.

He says that he is high enough up in the chain of command and that he can arrange for them to stay together. He asks her why she wants to do nothing but fly Prowlers under an insane commander like Crais.

She is shocked and tells him what he is saying is treason but he says that it is only the truth. He also says that Crais' project will kill the Leviathan and that he intends to see that it does not happen.
"Aeryn," he tells her, "I know how I feel about you. And I think I know how you feel about me. When I leave here, I want you to come with me. You can be so much more."

Aeryn's thoughts of the past are interrupted by John's arrival. John asks what is happening and Zhaan tells him that Aeryn is leaving as Pilot requested.

John goes to Pilot's Den and demands to talk to him. "Pilot," he says, "we have to talk. Let's hash this out. Right here. Right now."

Velorek is in the Den with Pilot. He tells Pilot that they are about to awaken Moya and that he will be overwhelmed at first by what he experiences. Pilot says he is in a great deal of pain and Velorek tells him that the pain is a result of the grafting process.

Moya awakens and the room starts to shake. Pilot says that something is wrong and Velorek tells him that she realizes that he is not her old Pilot. Pilot yells in pain and Velorek tells him that they are administering shocks through the Control Collar to force Moya to accept him as the new Pilot.

Talking to John, Pilot says that the only reason Moya accepted him as Pilot is because she was tortured into accepting him. He pulls the nerve bundles leading from his side and they rip free. Several explosions occur and Pilot says that he is no longer bonded to Moya, she is now free of him.

Moya begins to lurch wildly and D'Argo and Zhaan yell that life support is off line. John demands to know what is happening but Pilot only tells him that the pain is finally gone.

Later, Aeryn, D'Argo and John are in Command. Moya is continuing to roll and D'Argo is attempting to gain control of one of the consoles. John is telling them that Pilot has been in pain all along and Aeryn says that Velorek was forced to graft Pilot to Moya instead of letting the bond form naturally. D'Argo asks why she never told them that before and she reminds him that she didn't know it was the same Pilot. D'Argo says that they cannot regain control of Moya without Pilot's help.

Velorek is talking to Pilot who says he now has control of Moya. Velorek seems pleased. A technician comes up and says that he has done as Velorek asked and that the shaft has been sealed.

Pilot asks Velorek what the secret project they are talking about is. Velorek assures him that it is nothing that he needs to worry about and that he has taken steps to make sure that it will never be a threat to him or Moya.

Moya continues to roll out of control. John says that Pilot has locked himself into his Den and that he is using the DRDs to defend it. Aeryn says that it is all her fault and that she needs to go talk to him. John says there must be more to what happened than they know and asks her what it is. She again says she needs to talk to Pilot and leaves.

Both John and D'Argo start to go after her but John says it should be only him. D'Argo objects. He and John play rock/paper/scissors and John wins. John rushes after Aeryn while D'Argo looks annoyed.

Aeryn and John are moving along an access shaft. Aeryn says that Pilot is remembering more and more about what happened and that if she talks to him she might be able to help him understand. He asks her if she thinks that having Pilot talk to her about it will help and, when she says yes, asks why she won't talk to him. She is hesitant but he points out that there isn't anyone there but them and asks again what happened then that has her so upset.

Aeryn and Velorek are once again in the bed in Aeryn's cabin. Velorek says that his project is completed and that he will soon be reassigned.

Aeryn suddenly says that she wants to go with him. She has been through channels and without something to single her out she will never get back to flying Prowlers. Velorek is happy and says that he will make things as exciting for her as flying Prowlers ever could be and that when they find the right place she will be happy.

Aeryn becomes serious and tells him to undo whatever he did to Crais' plan. He is confused and asks what she is talking about and she tells him to put back whatever he did.

They are interrupted by the arrival of Crais and two other Peacekeepers. Aeryn jumps to attention and the Peacekeepers drag Velorek off the bed. Crais asks if Aeryn is the informant and she says that she is. Crais says that they were unable to find any sabotage but that they assume they caught him before he could do any damage. He tells Aeryn that she will get the assignment she requested and she says that she wants to go back to Prowler detail.

The Peacekeepers start to drag Velorek off but he stops them and looks at Aeryn.
"You found that something special to single yourself out." he says with a mixture of sarcasm and respect. "Congratulations. No ordinary Peacekeeper would have attempted this. I told you that you were special."

Velorek is taken away. Crais gives Aeryn a long look, then follows.

John asks what happened to Velorek and Aeryn simply stares at him. He finally realizes what must have happened and looks uncomfortable. Aeryn says he never talked and never told them what he did but that she thinks she knows. Crais' project was the attempt to breed a Leviathan warship. Velorek put a shield in place to prevent conception; the shield that D'Argo broke.

Meanwhile, Chiana, D'Argo and Zhaan are still trying to regain control of Moya. Chiana complains about being on a Leviathan with a replacement Pilot and Zhaan asks how she knows that the original Pilot would have been any better.

Aeryn and John drop down into Pilot's Den from an overhead opening. Pilot yells something in his language and the DRDs in the Den start firing lasers at them. They fire back and manage to destroy the DRDs.

Aeryn tries to talk to Pilot but he refuses to listen. John tries to reason with him, saying that Moya must be worried wondering what happened to him and that if he stays disconnected then he will starve to death. Pilot points out that without him life support won't work and that all of them will die but that Moya is better off without him.

Aeryn throws her pulse pistol aside and goes up to Pilot. She says that she deserves to die for what she did before and if Pilot wants to kill her she won't try to stop him. She only asks that he spare the others and himself.
"It is not you who deserves death." says Pilot slowly. "It is I."

John is confused. He tells Pilot that he replaced the original Pilot but that he can't blame himself for that.
"I didn't only... replace the original Pilot." Pilot tells him.

Velorek and Pilot are on what seems to be Pilot's home world. Pilot rises out of a mist-covered body of water. Velorek is sitting on outcropping of rock which extends above the mist.

Pilot tells Velorek that the "Elders" have decreed that he is not yet ready to Pilot a Leviathan. Velorek tells him to look up and tell him what he sees. Pilot says he sees the stars and that he dreams of them.

Velorek tells Pilot that he will give him a Leviathan if he will agree to help him. Pilot seems reluctant and says that Velorek told him that if he agrees then the current Pilot of the Leviathan would be killed. Velorek admits that this is so but says that if Pilot will not agree to help him then he will find another Pilot who will.
"Someone who isn't afraid to take their place amongst the stars." he tells him.

Pilot tells Aeryn that it wasn't her who killed the original Pilot. It was him. By agreeing to help Velorek he sealed the original Pilot's fate.
"But..." he says, "I wanted so desperately to see the stars!"

Aeryn reaches out and strokes Pilot's cheek, as Velorek once did.
"Do you remember when you first came on board?" she asks him. "We've come a long way since then, Pilot. And we've still got a long way to go. Take the journey with me."

Pilot strokes her cheek with one of his claws and says that he knows how to make some rudimentary connections so that he can regain partial control of Moya. Aeryn cries and takes his claw. John goes to get the others.

Later, D'Argo is working with Pilot to form the connections. Pilot warns him that his control of Moya will be less than it was for a while which may make things more dangerous for all of them but D'Argo says that he deserves to be bonded to Moya naturally. Pilot says that he will work to deserve it.

D'Argo finishes and asks Pilot how he feels.
"There's no pain." says Pilot. "There's no longer any pain."

Meanwhile, Aeryn and John are in command. John asks her about Velorek and she says he told her that in the right place, she would thrive.
"He was right." says John.
"You know," she says, "that time when he asked me to go with him... He said, 'You can be so much more.' That was exactly what you said to me on the first day I was here."
"And..." says John slowly. "You say... you think... you love this man?"

Aeryn smiles briefly, then looks away.

The shield which Velorek put in place to sabotage Crais' project was broken by D'Argo in They've Got a Secret.

Crais' project was the breeding of a Leviathan gunship. The project resulted in Talyn, who was born in The Hidden Memory.

D'Argo, Rygel and Zhaan cut off one of Pilot's arms and Aeryn gained some of Pilot's DNA in DNA Mad Scientist.

John told Aeryn "You can be more" in Premiere. This is also when Moya (and everyone else) escaped from the Peacekeepers.

John last talked to Aeryn about her keeping him and everyone else at a distance in Picture If You Will.

John and D'Argo first use rock/paper/scissors to resolve a dispute in Mind the Baby.

There have been several hints that Pilot may not be fully qualified. In the first episode he has trouble locating their position after a Starburst and in Thank God It's Friday, Again he admits to Aeryn that he does not know much about science and asks that she keep that fact secret from the others.

Why was Chiana poking around the storage areas in the upper tier anyway?

Why was Pilot not considered ready to pilot a Leviathan by the Elders of his people?

How long before Pilot regains full control of Moya?

Well, after quite a few mediocre to below average episodes Farscape comes back in a big way with one of those dark and angsty episodes that Farscape fans have come to love.

Actually though, this one is pretty dark and angsty even for Farscape.

We have known for some time that the Peacekeepers are not really nice people. We have also known for some time that Aeryn was a Peacekeeper. Neither of these has been a secret. Why then, are we suddenly surprised to find out that Aeryn has done some not-so-nice things in her past?

In most shows, a character like Aeryn would have been written as someone who had become disillusioned with the Peacekeeper way or was opposed to it and took the first opportunity to join the other side. This isn't what happened with Aeryn. She was pushed out of the Peacekeepers by Crais. Since leaving she has reached that disillusioned state, but only after her departure. While in the Peacekeepers she was a good Peacekeeper. As Zhaan herself put it "In that world, that was the only kind of Peacekeeper you could be."

So, Aeryn probably has more than a few things in her past that she isn't particularly proud of. And probably a few others that she would just as soon not even think of.

It is the reactions of the other crew members which make the episode work. We'll start with Chiana, who found the recording in the first place.

Chiana finds the recording chip while exploring the upper tiers. Who knows what else she found up there but the recording was obviously something she felt the need to show someone. She picks John, which initially seems odd but really makes a lot of sense.

Like Chiana, John is a relative newcomer and outsider on Moya. Showing it to Pilot or Aeryn is obviously a bad idea. She also knows that all of the others, being former Peacekeeper prisoners, are likely to have a much stronger reaction to the recording than John will. And, she knows John's feelings towards Aeryn.

What was Chiana hoping to accomplish by showing John what Aeryn had done in her past? We know John's feelings for Aeryn but I have also speculated in the past that Chiana also has some feelings for John. Is it possible that by showing John one of the skeletons in Aeryn's closet she was hoping to move John a bit away from Aeryn and a bit closer to her? If so, her plan didn't really work.

Let's face it, in many ways John is in serious denial about Aeryn. Yes, he is in love with her and that lets him overlook a lot but Aeryn also is carrying a great deal of baggage around with her and John may not be able to deal with some of what is in there. Here, when they first show the recording to the others, he is the one backing up and supporting Aeryn. He never once condemns her for what she did. In fact, when Chiana first shows him the recording, he seems more disturbed by the fact that the recording exists at all than he is by what it actually shows.

Where he does become uncomfortable is when he learns that Aeryn had intimate relations with Velorek and actually had feelings for him. The others all feel betrayed when they learn that Aeryn helped kill a Pilot. John feels somewhat betrayed when he learns that there has been someone else in her life that she felt something for. He hides it well but his discomfort is obviously there.

As expected, D'Argo, Rygel and Zhaan have a fairly strong reaction to the recording. Oddly, it is D'Argo who seems to get himself under control the fastest and Zhaan who takes the longest to come to terms with what they have learned. At first this may seem to be the opposite of how the characters normally behave but it really isn't.

D'Argo is a soldier, he has made that point many times. This means that he understands that one of the duties of a soldier is to follow their superior officer's orders. Crais ordered the Peacekeeper soldiers to fire and, as soldiers should, they did. In The Flax D'Argo tells Zhaan that a soldier cannot be indecisive in battle. In this case, the Peacekeepers did not have the luxury of deciding whether the action they were about to take was right or wrong. Their captain gave them an order and they obeyed it. D'Argo has a great deal of respect for Aeryn as a fellow warrior and he may actually have been more upset with her if she had hesitated.

Yes, he was angry when he first saw the recording. After all, he was a prisoner of the Peacekeepers for some time and did suffer greatly at their hands. But, he is able to recognize who is actually responsible for what happened and who was simply a tool to be used. This may be one of the reasons he takes charge of the chip; he understands and he realizes that probably no one else will.

On the opposite end of the scale is Zhaan. She is normally the peacemaker among them, the one who is the most understanding. Why should she react so strongly here? After all, this is the woman who murdered her own lover for political reasons and who helped cut the arm off of Pilot, their Pilot, which is only a small step from what she saw here.

Perhaps Zhaan is so angry with Aeryn because of what she herself has done in the past. Zhaan, along with D'Argo and Rygel, cut one of the arms off of Pilot. While this was in character for the practical D'Argo and out-for-himself Rygel it was quite a bit out of character for her. She has probably felt a great deal of remorse over this and has never really come to terms with it. It does not even seem that she ever apologized to Pilot for that incident.

It is possible that her anger with Aeryn is not so much over what Aeryn did as it is over what she did. By condemning Aeryn for her crime she is also condemning herself for hers and, by pressing the issue, she attempts to make up for what she did. It is only after Aeryn says she will leave Moya, only when Aeryn admits the wrongness of what she did, that Zhaan suddenly seems to back down. Zhaan realizes that Aeryn has done what she never did herself; admit that she was wrong and accept the consequences of her action. It is this that finally ends Zhaan's anger.

As for Rygel, well, Rygel has always been out for himself and that doesn't change here. Yes he is angry at Aeryn at first but he quickly determines how to take advantage of the situation himself. He finds the chip where D'Argo has hidden it and shows it to Pilot. Chiana clearly understood what was going on here. Despite his claims, Rygel was simply looking for an advantage over the others. In his mind, Pilot now owes him a favor. It remains to be seen how appreciative Pilot really is over the "favor".

A lot of what happens in the episode centers around Pilot so his reactions must also be considered. As John pointed out, when the others cut his arm off Pilot didn't react much beyond making a few sarcastic remarks. Here, he goes berserk and, by separating himself from Moya, starts a chain of events which would eventually lead to his death as well as the deaths of everyone else on Moya. Even considering what Aeryn did, why would he feel the need for such drastic action towards the rest of them.

The answer, of course, lies in his own involvement with those events three cycles ago. Like Zhaan, he also has something he is ashamed of in his past. In fact, his involvement may even be more damning than Aeryn's; he does not even have the excuse of being a soldier following orders. He knew that by accepting Velorek's offer he was condemning the original Pilot but he put his own personal desires ahead of her life. This had probably always been an abstract concept to him, until Rygel gave him the recording and he saw in full detail what his decision had resulted in.

He initially lashes out at Aeryn, since she is a visible reminder of what he did. Then, when John presses him, he pulls himself free from Moya. Yes, this will eventually result in the death of everyone on Moya but it will also result in his death, a death which will repay the death he caused Moya's original Pilot.

Again, in the end, it is Aeryn's acceptance of what she did that lets him find his own redemption. She knows now that she was wrong but she has gone beyond what she was then. As has been said many times, one of the running themes of the series is "you can be more". Aeryn has realized that she can be more than her past and Pilot realizes that he can also be more than his.

When D'Argo helps Pilot re-bond with Moya, Pilot says "There's no longer any pain." It seems at first that he is referring to the actual, physical pain that he had been enduring for the last three cycles due to his forced grafting to Moya. But, that pain ended earlier when he pulled himself free. What he probably meant was the emotional pain he had been feeling. The pain caused by his blaming of himself for what had happened. Now that he has been able to face his past he has come to terms with what he did. He has faced his mistakes, acknowledged them and is no longer tormented by them.

Which brings us back to Aeryn again. Everyone else had been focusing on the killing of the first Pilot but this is not what was haunting Aeryn. For her it was her betrayal of Velorek.

Zhaan hurt her more than she realized when she said "That was the only kind of Peacekeeper you could have been." Aeryn was in love with Velorek, probably the first time in her life that she had ever felt that way towards anyone. She was ready to leave with him. Then, her report to Crais had its result and Velorek was taken away. She got her Prowler assignment back but she probably spent the two cycles after that trying to convince herself that she had done the right thing.

Here we see why Aeryn was so defensive of and reluctant to give up her Peacekeeper past. In order to justify her betrayal of Velorek to herself she had to convince herself that the Peacekeeper way of life was the right way of life. The only way of life. This was the only environment in which she could live with what she had done.

Then, she is captured on Moya and finds herself with John. With his help she escapes but, when Crais arrives, he immediately captures John and, like he did with Velorek those cycles before, is about to have him taken away and ultimately killed. Aeryn said nothing then and let Crais take the man she loved away. This time, she says something.

We know, from PK Tech Girl that Aeryn had felt something for John when they first met. This reminded her of the one other person that she had ever felt anything for. Velorek.

Now we can see why Aeryn risked everything to defend John. She wasn't, really. Instead, she was attempting to find her own redemption for something she did before. By saving John she can, in some small way, redeem herself for what she did to Velorek.

Then, a few minutes later D'Argo and John are about to make their escape and John wants her to come with them. She is still trying to hang on to the Peacekeeper way of life that has been her support for the last two cycles, even though it will probably result in her death. "It is my duty." she tells him. "My breeding since birth. It's what I am."

Then John, without realizing it, drops a bombshell. "You can be more." he tells her. The exact same thing that Velorek told her when he asked her to come with him.

Now, the thing that she gave up when she turned Velorek in is available to her again. This time, she takes the path she rejected previously and does what Velorek wanted her to do those cycles before; she leaves the Peacekeepers to find a new life.

Ultimately, she does thrive in her new life, just like Velorek said she would. But, she still carries the guilt she felt over her betrayal and learning that Velorek was right probably only made that worse. She has been keeping herself distant from John both from guilt and from the fear that what happened to Velorek may also happen to him. And, possibly, as punishment to herself as well.

Just as Pilot was living with his pain she was living with her isolation and loneliness. Finally, now both of them can move forward again. They have put their pasts behind them and can move on towards the future.

The Way We Weren't is easily the best Farscape of the season and very probably one of the best episodes aired to this date. It is not an episode to introduce newcomers to the series but definitely one to watch once you have become familiar with the show. Don't miss this one.