2.05 - Picture if You Will

Chiana acquires a picture which seems to be able to predict the future. But when its prediction of her death comes true the crew must determine what the power behind the picture is since, according to the picture, D'Argo and John will be the next to die.

You know what I think? I... I think it can predict the future! - Chiana
My Aunt Ruth can do that, except she uses tea leaves. - John Crichton

Haven't you read the Super Villain's Handbook? This is where you're supposed to twirl your mustache and gloat. - John Crichton
I don't have a mustache. - Maldis

Fear makes me stronger. Fear and the terror of helplessness. These are a few of my favorite things. - Maldis
Oh, could you do that farewell good-bye song the kids sing? It's one of my favorites. - John Crichton
I don't do requests! - Maldis

Who's that little man? - Chiana
His name is Maldis. He's your basic evil vampire. - John Crichton
He sucks the life force out of people. - Ka D'Argo
He just plain sucks. - John Crichton

Crichton said I should follow Zhaan's instructions without question. - Aeryn Sun
Did he? Well, he didn't bother to tell me. - Dominar Rygel XVI
Of course not. When have you ever followed instructions? - Aeryn Sun

We can't have everything, Rygel. - Chiana
I can't have anything. - Dominar Rygel XVI

Aeryn is with Chiana and Rygel who have insisted on flying over to a trader's ship to see if they can find anything worth buying. Chiana finds a picture of a Nebari which resembles her and the trader, Kyvan, says that it is a painting she did herself.

Rygel finds a fake Hynerian tiara which he buys for one food cube. Chiana doesn't find anything and all of them are about to leave when Kyvan stops them and gives Chiana a small picture. This picture is of Chiana and shows her wearing a necklace. She recognizes the necklace and says that it is one she lost some time ago.

Kyvan says that Chiana hasn't been given much in her life and says she is giving her the painting. Chiana asks why and Kyvan says that it is so that she will be able to appreciate the true value of art. Chiana asks what that is.
"In this case," says Kyvan, "it's a window in time."

Back on Moya, D'Argo and John are attempting to repair the defense screen. John nearly gets electrocuted and Pilot reports that Moya is experiencing power anomalies on several levels. D'Argo asks for some DRDs to help and Pilot says that they are all busy. John points out that several are working on Aeryn's Prowler and Pilot responds by telling him that they are performing an overdue scheduled maintenance. John tries to get him to send them some anyway since Aeryn is off with Chiana and Rygel but Pilot reports that they have just returned.

Chiana is walking along a corridor, admiring her picture, when a DRD comes up with her lost necklace. She is surprised but happy then looks at the picture again to see that it has changed and now shows her with one leg bent at an awkward angle. She starts to walk again but trips over the DRD and falls, breaking her leg in the process.

Somewhat later, John and Zhaan are in the corridor with Chiana. She tells them that she thinks the picture can tell her future. John first thinks that maybe Aeryn or Rygel are playing a trick on her then asks Pilot about the DRD that tripped her. Pilot says there is nothing wrong with the DRDs and that he had assigned one to look for her necklace some time previously.

Zhaan wants to study the picture but Chiana doesn't want her to. John finally convinces her to let Zhaan take a small piece from it to analyze.

Zhaan goes to her apothecary to find Rygel using some of her chemicals to test the tiara he got from Kyvan. Zhaan is annoyed at his using her lab but he is stunned to find out that the tiara is genuine. He wants Moya to turn around to go back to Kyvan's ship but Pilot refuses.

D'Argo goes to Chiana's cabin to try and convince her to give up the picture. He thinks that the picture may be somehow causing the things that are happening to her. She doesn't and accuses him of being superstitious but he says he is only concerned. She suggests that he look at the picture and suggests that it may show if he ever finds his son or what the future may be for the two of them. He refuses and says that she is not being sensible. She gets offended and tells him to leave.

Aeryn and John are also talking about the picture. John isn't sure what is going on but Aeryn thinks it is just a con that Kyvan is pulling somehow to get back at Chiana for insulting her picture earlier. John says he thinks that they should have avoided Kyvan's ship entirely but Aeryn reminds him that Chiana and Rygel insist on stopping at every trading vessel they encounter.

John sarcastically suggests sealing Moya and not letting anyone or anything in or out. "That way" he says "we get no alien critters, no shape-shifting bugs, no mind altering viruses, no freaky-deaky artifacts..."
Aeryn interrupts to suggest that they get rid of Rygel and Chiana as well. John asks if she also wants to get rid of D'Argo and Zhaan and she admits that she might. He then suggests that she get rid of him and Pilot too and, when she asks him if he is making an offer, leaves.

John goes to Zhaan's cabin. Zhaan is sitting, seeming to listen to something, when John arrives and startles her. She says that she cannot find anything unusual about the picture. John suggests that Chiana is just imagining things but Zhaan says that she does think that Chiana is in real danger. She also asks John to promise her that, if she suddenly asks him to do something, if he and the crew will do what she asks without question. John says that he trusts her and that he will. She then asks him to go get the picture so she can destroy it.

John heads for Chiana's cabin and meets D'Argo along the way. D'Argo also thinks that the picture is hurting Chiana somehow. As they approach the cabin Chiana screams and runs out to them. The picture has changed again and now shows her on fire.

Chiana screams that she is burning up but D'Argo tells her she isn't and tries to calm her, as does Aeryn who has been attracted by the screams. They try to calm Chiana while John takes the picture to Zhaan.

Aeryn and D'Argo go with Chiana to the cargo bay. John drops the picture off with Zhaan then joins them there. Chiana asks to be put into a freezer compartment and D'Argo does so. John calls Pilot who says he will moderate the temperature and maintain air flow in the freezer.

A bright light suddenly appears in the freezer and Chiana starts to scream. The others outside try to open the door but it is jammed and will not open, even when Aeryn shoots at it with her pulse pistol. The light turns into a flame and Chiana continues to scream as Pilot tells them he cannot get the door to respond. Chiana screams one last time and the light goes out. The door finally opens and the others find nothing inside but some scraps of clothing and a pile of ashes.
"Crichton, is Chiana...?" begins Pilot.
John shakes his head. "She's gone, Pilot."

Rygel appears in Zhaan's quarters and starts to berate her for not doing anything to help Chiana and for the fact that no one told him what was happening. D'Argo and John arrive and tell him to shut up. Zhaan expresses regret that she had not gone to the trading ship with them so she would have been able to prevent her from taking the picture. D'Argo is also upset that he did not take the picture from her himself. John is more practical and asks how they can get rid of the picture. Zhaan pours some liquid over it and sets it on fire. The picture burns and is destroyed.

Aeryn is cross examining Pilot trying to find out what happened but Pilot continues to insist that there were no problems that could have caused the fire. Aeryn asks about the power anomalies and Pilot says they were not responsible. She then asks why he couldn't open the door and Pilot says he doesn't know.

John arrives and tells Aeryn to stop questioning Pilot and that Chiana's death was not her fault. She asks why it would be and he reminds her of their conversation earlier where she said she wanted Chiana off the ship. She becomes angry and points out that she wanted Chiana off the ship, not dead.
"Fine." says John, becoming angry. He starts to turn away then turns back to her. "No. Are you always gonna do this?"
"Do what?" asks Aeryn, equally angry.
"Keep the entire world at a distance!" he tells her. "Keep everybody away. Is that ever gonna change?"

Her reply is cut short when D'Argo calls on the comms asking them to come to the central chamber. Pilot has no idea what has happened so Aeryn and John leave.

Arriving in the central chamber, Aeryn and John see D'Argo and Zhaan staring at the picture, which has somehow reformed itself. Now, however, the picture shows D'Argo.

John smashes the picture to the ground, breaking it, and asks Pilot where the nearest access shaft is. Aeryn says she wants to go talk to the trader again and asks if her Prowler is ready. Pilot says it isn't and John offers to let her use his module.

Aeryn leaves for the hanger bay while the others go to the access shaft. John dumps the pieces of the picture and flushes them out into space. Pilot reports that they are rapidly moving away from the fragments. He tracks them until they are off of Moya's radar and John suggests that after Aeryn returns from the trader that they Starburst to put more space between them and the picture. Zhaan stops him and again seems to be hearing something.

Aeryn is in the Farscape 1 when she hears movement behind her. She pulls her pulse pistol but it turns out to be Rygel, who is wanting to go with her in order to get compensation for Chiana from Kyvan. Aeryn asks him if he isn't really interested in trying to make a profit and Rygel says that he and Chiana were much alike and that he will miss her.
"She would have made an excellent Hynerian." he tells her.
"One way or another," Aeryn tells him. "Kyvan will make restitution."

Back on Moya, John and Zhaan come across D'Argo staring at the picture. Both of them are stunned to see it and John asks if there is any way to get rid of it short of dropping it into a black hole. D'Argo seems resigned to his fate and shows them that the picture shows him being impaled by something. He says it signifies his Qualta Blade and John takes the Blade from him and gives it to Zhaan, telling her to lock it up somewhere.

John tries to lead D'Argo to an open area away from any sharp objects but D'Argo is ready to give up and tells John that no matter what happens, he has been a good friend. John keeps trying to talk to him but as they are passing through the hanger bay the engines on Aeryn's Prowler suddenly ignite and it moves forward. D'Argo shoves John out of the way and is impaled on the nose of the Prowler. He hangs there for a second then his body seems to shatter and he disappears.

D'Argo finds himself in a long hallway lined by arches. Within one of the arches he sees Chiana hanging upside down. He asks what is happening and she says that she thinks they are inside the picture. He walks through the arch towards her but when he steps through she vanishes.

John and Zhaan are in the hanger bay and John is trying to tell her how D'Argo disappeared. He thinks that D'Argo may be alive somewhere but she shows him the picture. It now shows John, surrounded by lightning. John starts to panic and asks Zhaan to tell him what to do.
"There is nothing I can tell you." she replies.

Aeryn and Rygel arrive at the trader's ship. Kyvan welcomes them aboard but Aeryn threatens her and demands to know what is going on. Kyvan claims to know nothing at first but after Aeryn pulls her pulse pistol and threatens to kill her she breaks down and admits that she was forced to create the picture by Maldis. Aeryn relays this information to Zhaan.

John is surprised when he learns of Maldis and reminds Zhaan that they destroyed him previously. Zhaan seems frightened and tells him that they really didn't destroy him, just disrupted him for a while. She suddenly grabs John and pulls his head against hers.

Silently, she tells him that she is using the Unity bond they once shared to speak to him. She says that she has a plan and that he needs to keep Maldis' attention away from her as long as possible. She also says to ignore the next thing she says.

Pulling away from him, she says that there is no way to defeat Maldis and that the best they can do is to surrender and shorten their pain. John says that he wants to fight Maldis and she says they can't. She shoves him backwards into a power conduit and John is electrocuted.

John appears in the long hallway and sees D'Argo through one of the archways. He starts to go through it but D'Argo yells for him to stop and tells him that the archways all lead elsewhere and form a maze. John replies that he knows who built the maze and tells him about Maldis.

Maldis himself appears and tells John that he is back and that the only thing that held him together after his dissolution was thoughts of revenge. John tells him to "revenge away" but Maldis says he isn't concerned about John, just Zhaan. He took the others first because he wanted Zhaan to suffer by seeing her shipmates die first. He also says that he can see inside John's mind and knows that John is expecting Zhaan to do something to save them but that there is nothing she can do.
"I'm betting on her." says John. "Not you."
"Bad bet." says Maldis.

Zhaan is talking to Pilot and asks if he understands. Pilot says he doesn't but that he will do as she asks. Maldis starts calling Zhaan's name and Moya begins to shake. Zhaan falls and seems to fall into the picture. She lands in the hallway near John.
"So much for that plan!" says Maldis. "Any more bets?"

John tries to talk to Zhaan but she is crying and says that she wasn't strong enough and has failed. Maldis laughs and causes D'Argo and Chiana to appear in the archways then causes John to appear in one as well. Zhaan begs for him to stop and John tells the others to remain calm so that they won't feed Maldis with their emotions. Maldis threatens John with going to Earth and wreaking havoc there, D'Argo by threatening to kill his son and Chiana by telling her he will send her back to Nebari Prime to undergo mental cleansing. Then he says that he will kill all of them soon, literally walks over Zhaan, who is still lying on the floor, and leaves.

On Moya, an opening of some type appears through which the floor of the hallway is visible. Pilot sees it and calls Aeryn. He tells her to kill Kyvan and leave. She does so and Kyvan seems to shatter. She and Rygel leave in the Farscape 1 and Kyvan's ship seems to shatter behind them. Rygel asks how she knew what would happen and she tells him that John told her to do whatever Zhaan told her to do without question. Rygel complains that no one told him that.
"Of course not." she says. "When have you ever followed instructions?"

Maldis reappears in the hallway and yells at Zhaan. She stands up and hits him then throws him through one of the archways. He disappears and Chiana, D'Argo and John can leave their arches and enter the hallway. Chiana and D'Argo climb through the opening and back into Moya. John starts to follow but Zhaan seems to be unable to leave. She yells for him to leave her but he turns back and lifts her through the opening. D'Argo pulls her safely onto Moya. Maldis reappears but John jumps through the opening before he can get to him.

Maldis attempts to enter Moya and a large hand can be seen exiting the opening. John grabs a DRD and yells for Pilot to fire but the DRDs laser has little effect on the hand. John then runs to where Aeryn's Prowler is sitting and triggers its main guns. The hand seems to shatter and the opening disappears. John turns to Zhaan.
"That was your plan?" he asks.
"Yes." she smiles. "Like it?"
He smiles back at her. "What's not to like?"

Later, Chiana is talking with Rygel and explaining what happened. Maldis had not been able to completely return but had been able to recover enough to create Kyvan. Kyvan then gave the picture to Chiana so that it would pull all of them into Maldis' realm. He would then feed off of their fear and life energy and that would give him the energy he needed to return to this world. Since Kyvan was an extension of Maldis, destroying her weakened Maldis enough for Zhaan to defeat him again.

Rygel is confused but bemoans the loss of the tiara, which disappeared at the same time as Kyvan and her ship.
"Oh well." she says. "We can't have everything, Rygel."
"I can't have anything." he moans. She laughs and throws her food cubes at him.

John is with Zhaan who is straightening up her cabin. He asks her if Maldis is gone for good this time and she tells him that there is no way to be certain. He then says he wished she had lied to him and told him Maldis was gone for good so that he could sleep better but she says that she isn't very good at lying. John pointed out that she fooled all of them when she was pretending to be scared of Maldis.
"My fear wasn't an act, John." she tells him.
"You were really that scared?" he asks, surprised.
She nods. "I've never been more scared in my life."

Maldis first appeared in That Old Black Magic.

The defense screen that D'Argo and John were attempting to fix at the start of the episode was acquired in PK Tech Girl. It was used in Mind the Baby but was damaged by Talyn.

John and Zhaan shared Unity together in Rhapsody in Blue

When John is talking to Aeryn about sealing Moya, he says "That way we get no alien critters, no shape-shifting bugs, no mind altering viruses, no freaky-deaky artifacts..." The "shape-shifting bugs" probably refers to the Drak from Exodus From Genesis and the "mind altering virus" is probably the one from A Bug's Life.

The phrase "Picture if you will..." was a catchphase used by Rod Serling in the introduction for each episode of the series Night Gallery.

Chiana really didn't burn, D'Argo really wasn't impaled and John really wasn't electrocuted. But Chiana's leg really was broken. Was this injury real because it didn't result from her being taken to Maldis' realm or was it just a coincidence that it happened?

Is Maldis really gone this time?

Picture If You Will is a thoroughly mediocre episode. It has its moments but overall it seems to be missing something and never really does anything to distinguish itself.

The episode starts out fairly well. The initial scenes with Chiana and the painting initially create a mystery but it begins to unravel shortly after she "dies". When the painting cannot be destroyed and shows D'Argo things go from mysterious to predictable. Then, when Maldis is revealed as being behind what is happening any remaining tension is lost. Maldis hardly seems to be a threat this time around, he shows up long enough to spout off a few cliche lines and that is about it. Whereas before Zhaan had to enter a trance to defeat him, here she just punches him then John shoots him with the Prowler.

Character development is weak this time as well. The first time she faced Maldis, Zhaan had to face opening herself up to her darker impulses again and there was a very well done conflict within her character. Here, she is just scared. Maybe, but the threat never seemed as real this time as it did in that first encounter. True, Maldis says that he is going to kill the crew but he never really does anything besides talk. And, for all his supposed powers, his defeat seemed almost trivial.

We do get to see a bit more of the developing interest between D'Argo and Chiana and also some more of the friendship between D'Argo and John but that is about it.

The one useful piece of characterization comes in the scene with John and Aeryn in Pilot's Den. John asks Aeryn why she keeps the world at a distance and she doesn't get a chance to reply. The answer is actually revealed in the next episode.

There is also the odd scene at the beginning where D'Argo and John are working on the defense screen. Nothing really comes of this except the information that Moya is experiencing power anomalies and that Aeryn's Prowler is undergoing maintenance. This may have been supposed to make us think when Chiana apparently dies in the freezer unit and the Prowler impales D'Argo but Pilot immediately rules out the power anomalies as a factor in Chiana's "death" and the result of D'Argo being impaled by the Prowler was odd enough to indicate that something strange was going on anyway. In the end neither the power anomalies nor the defense screen have anything to do with the plot and it winds up looking as if the only reason for their mention was to pad the episode out a few more minutes.

And the hand effect at the end looked like something out of a bad Lost In Space episode.

Still, on reviewing it the episode doesn't really come across as bad, just bland. It didn't really make that much of an impression on me one way or the other. Since nothing that happens here seems to have any effect on any future episodes I wouldn't go out of my way to catch this one but I wouldn't turn it off if it came on either.