From: tagutcow@nr.infi.net (Thrones of Corn, Waves of Pain)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.horror
Subject: Re: Your Kibological Quotient
Date: Tue, 30 Mar 1999 23:20:02 -0400
Organization: The Toplings
In article <kibo-2903991731190001@kibo.std.com>, kibo@world.std.com
(James
"Kibo" Parry) wrote:
> That's why you grew up to hold a job where you work with hideous
faceless
> blobs,
Back in the day when one could easily count on one hand the
number of
programming hours Fox had per day, a man named Billy Bob- an ur-good
ol'
boy of an unassuming, laconic manner,- armed with only his weekly
rotation
of grade schoolers, his sidekick Junior Prankster (-- some UNCG
slacker
operating a puppet from within a hollowed-out video game kiosk,)
his
signature tagline ("too funny") and his no-budget television show
on the
then local UHF channed-slash-Fox affiliate, rose to such considerable
celebrity over such a narrowly defined locality that this author
believes
he'll carry to his grave the reflex-like triggering of the mental
image of
Billy Bob upon any occurance of the phrase "local celebrity." Billy
Bob is
the closest thing to a Krusty the Klown I've ever known. One day
he had a
special *VERRRRYYY SCCCAAAARRRYYY* Halloween episode of Billy Bob's
Funhouse in which, as a special Halloween treat, he had a storyteller
come
on to relate a very special, *VERRRRYYY SCCCARRRYY* special Halloween
story. The storyteller- a middle-aged woman who could have very
well been
a middle-school teacher- proceeded to give lay to her story in
which a
man- not too unlike you or I- one day finds his world turned upside-down
when everybody except him suddenly has a face "like an egg-- no
eyes, no
ears, no mouth, nothing (smudgy-smudgy motions with fingers over
respective facial features.)" After having numerous horrifying
encounters
with people with egg-like faces, the man sees from behind the local
police
officer; surely the police officer can be counted on to set things
right
and/or to give a reasonable explanation for this horrifying, bewildering
turn of events. After relating his horrifying experiences to the
away-facing officer, the officer turns around and our protagonist
discovers- to his horror- that the police officer, too, has "a
face like
an egg- no eyes, no ears, no mouth, nothing. And he has... A THING!"
That's the story. The police officer has an egg-like head,
too, plus he
has A THING!
"Whoah, that was a really scary story," Billy Bob remarked,
although we
could see he was as visibly disconcerted as we at the story's seemingly
premature conclusion.
Extra! began as celebrity journalism, transmorphed into human-interest fluff, and has since returned to celebrity journalism. This post dates from the middle era. The Brian Yoder part is my passive-aggressive by-proxy way of getting back at Jaffo for saying I was an "unthinking fanatic" in alt.politics.jaffo.
From: tagutcow@nr.infi.net (Bad Experiences With Dogs)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.fan.tom-servo
Subject: Re: [Lg01&02] Largest condom in the world on display
in Colombia
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998 05:53:36 -0400
Organization: The Land Where Magic Is Still Real
In article <368dbd95.4551337@news-f.std.com>, Infinity@world.std.com
(Captain Infinity) wrote:
> " The monstrous condom was filled with air and put
on display
> along a main Cali thoroughfare, part of an AIDS-awareness campaign.
"
>
> WARNING! DRIVING CAUSES AIDS! ALL THOROUGHFARES MUST
NOW HAVE PROTECTION!
Ah, I see. He was Raising Awareness. Kinda like that Christmas
tree
decorated with condoms would have done if the little minds hadn't
ixnayed
it. You know how beautiful celebrity Sharon Stone suggested that
families
place containers with 200 condoms in a place where people aren't
always
milling about so people aren't mocked and made to feel uncomfortable
about
their healthy sexual activities? Well, since my family and beautiful
celebrities everywhere are of one mind, we heeded her suggestion
and put a
big wicker basket of the things in the frotis room. But the thing
is, for
the holidays, we took the wicker basket OUT OF the frotis room
so we could
decorate the neighborhood Christmas tree with condoms of many and
varied
fun colors to raise the awareness of all the neighborhood denizens
about
the continued and unabating need for safe sex. Unfortunately, you
have to
actually get pretty close to the tree to see that it's condoms
it's
decorated with, and we can't help but feel the message has been
somewhat
lost on our neighbors. This "world's largest condom" could be the
missing
element that would really knock the message out of the park. Just
wrap the
whole tree in the condom is what I'm thinking. Kinda wacky, kinda
fun, but
with a Serious and Important message. And why don't we have a big
ol'
nekkid woman with angel wings straddling the thing for added effect?
And
what are you staring at? Oh, leave it to the likes of sordid little
minds
like yourself to take an object of great beauty and poignancy like
the
condom Christmas tree and turn it into something... something *dirty*.
You... you... DUMB HICK!
Speaking of women perched atop large conifers, I saw an interview
on
Extra! a few weeks back with a young woman who had taken up habitat
in a
treehouse high atop a California redwood to prevent logging and
to draw
attention to the plight of America's old growth forests. Kind of
like a
tree spiking, only with more of a personal investment. Now don't
get me
wrong- I almost invariably find images of youth activism upsetting-
but
there was something about the dedication and optimism she conveyed
that
struck me as, well, heartening. Sure, there has to be *some* element
of
vanity if you're going to go up there and take it upon yourself
to Raise
Awareness, but hers was not the *angry* vanity of the culturally
and
religiously uprooted's attempts at finding identity in activism;
there was
a grace there... a, dare say, piety. Real sweetly pretty, too--
if she
ever comes down from that tree, she's the exact type of woman I'd
like to
have as, like, a wife or something. Now leave it to the journalistic
geniuses of Extra! to spoil the warm, fuzzy mood with an inane
phone-in
poll ($.50 a pop): Should the loggers force SweetlyPretty down
from her
redwood? You heard me right, *should* the loggers force her down?
We're
not asking you a question like "*would* the loggers be within their
*rights* to force her down?"; a question like that would almost
certainly
involve difficult hypothetical thinking-- a skill only to be safely
attempted by those who have attended journalism school. We're asking
you,
the type of people who watch Extra!, *should* they force her down,
because
we figure we need to throw a bone out to those of you who are marginally
smart enough to be able to form an opinion but not smart enough
for
anybody not paid to do so to care by giving you an opportunity
to vent
your opinions so you can at least feel like your opinions matter
even if
your opinions are only manufactured responses to human interest
fluff
pieces. So we're asking you for the last time, *should* the loggers
force
her down. Here's a hint: You're not a monster. And you know what?
YES!!!
YES, I feel they SHOULD force her down! And if she doesn't fold,
send that
bitch CRASHING TO THE GROUND! ...and don't even peel her carcass
off the
tree on the way to the CHIP MILL! I mean- hey!- she ended up dying
for
what she believed in; would that we could all suffer such a fate!
Now that
we've given them a martyr, let's get busy razing all that old growth
forest and never recycle ANYTHING just to SPITE ENVIRONMENTALISTS
and see
just how ANGRY and FROTHING they can get in our VAST UNCONTROLLED
EXPERIMENT in TERROR because it is a perfectly RATIONAL and LOGICAL
and
OBJECTIVIST thing to do and my name is BRIAN YODER and I am totally
unlike
that UNTHINKING FANATIC DUMPY-PANTS ROBERT CAPONI who would probably
TAKE
a BIG STINKY LOAD in his PANTS the second a REAL WOMAN the likes
of
SUZANNE RICO so much as LAID A HAND IN PITY on him. Hello? HELLO?
CAN YOU
PEOPLE HEAR ME OVER THERE? I DON'T THINK OUR CONNECTION IS VERY
GOOD.
HELLO? MY NAME IS BRI... HELLO? IF I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A CALL!?!
I'VE
MADE MY CALL! COULD YOU JUST PLEASE PUT ME THROUGH TO SUZANNE RICO,
I'M
SURE SHE'D UND... HELLO? ARE YOU PEOPLE GETTING ANY OF THIS? PLEASE
HANG
UP AND TRY AGAIN!?! LOOK, I'VE PAID MY FIFTY CENTS, YOU PEOPLE
AREN'T
GOING TO BILK ME OUT OF ANOTHER FIFTY CENTS! I DEMAND TO SPEAK
WITH
SUZANNE RICO! YES, YOU'VE TOLD ME THAT, BUT YOU ALSO SAID IF I
CALLED THIS
NUMBER I COULD TELL YOU... NO, I'M NOT GOING TO HANG UP AND TRY
AGAIN! AND
IF YOU'RE GOING TO GYP PEOPLE OUT OF THEIR HARD-EARNED CASH THIS
WAY,
YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU! GOOD DAY!
Your #1 fan,
Brian Yoder (age 1999)
P.S. Robert Caponi needs something like the world's largest
condom,
except for his butt.
P.P.S. Suzanne Rico is sweetly pretty as well. Unfortunately,
all her
assignments seem like she lost a bet with other Extra! staffers.
We're
talking human interest fluff de la fluff, even by Extra's standards.
How I
wish I could rescue her from it.
P.P.P.S. 200 condoms. 400 blows. You do the math.
--
easy for you,
easy for you,
Stetson makes it easy
for you.
From: tagutcow@nr.infi.net (Arab Network America)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.southpark,alt.religion.kibology,rec.arts.tv,alt.politics.jaffo
Subject: Re: Censoring on West coast apparently?
Date: 24 May 1998 02:20:38 GMT
Organization: people come to see the throng
Hmm, since I seem to have gotten in the habit of posting my
unfunny but
nonetheless delightfully left-of-center observations, I'll throw
this one
in:
In article <6k59j5$sma@nntp02.primenet.com>, nickb@primenet.com
(Nick S
Bensema) wrote:
[BTW, Nick, have you kissed any large rocks in Ireland recently?
Your
recent output: *like buttah*]
>Perhaps public discussions such as this will ignite some sort of
>change in American television. Perhaps someday we will catch
up
>with the rest of the world, where nudity is permissible at certain
>hours of the day, and we're not afraid of words. For all
I know,
>the motivation for change will come from the fact that the
>Europeans are all laughing at us and our puritan practices.
This image of The Europeans laughing at us from afar has always
bothered
me; it's as if the thresholds of appropriateness themselves weren't
subject to cultural distance. I'm not going to pretend like my
own
personal Nazi-like attitudes towards casual sex and whatnot don't
influence my willingness to let the absence of nudity on US television
slide, but I prefer to see the sensibilities of the Americans and
the
Continentals simply in terms of difference; it's not a matter of
better or
worse, just difference.
And by no means am I saying I'm not just as much a television
nudity
enthusiast as the next guy; I just don't think it's a healthy basis-
if
ever there were- for an American Inferiority Complex, and I'm certainly
not going to get all huffy and indignant if the public and/or the
networks
decide never again to air any sort of nudity- even the most fleeting
nipplage- on network television at any time of the day. For me
it's not
really a matter of principle that way.
And how come people are always on about the Puritans? It's
like every
other culture is deserving of continued vitality and our unconditional
respect except for that of the Puritans. Oh, sure, it would be
a travesty
if we paved Bali over with McDonalds or if we wrenched the sitar
from the
clutches of every sitarist in India and replaced it instead with
a Casio
RapMaster or if we brashly tried to foist our Western model of
language on
the Nootkas and consequently uprooted all their ties to their own
culture
and thought, but for some reason it's OK to speak and wish only
ill of the
Puritans just because studies in universities like these have shown
that
people who don't get a sufficiently substantial amount nookie tend
to drum
their fingers on the desk annoyingly.
I just don't think it's healthy that we're constantly evaluating
ourselves against The Europeans and that we will never feel validated
until we become as an extension of Europe... which of course won't
ever
happen because if cultural distance could be measured quantitatively,
the
space between us and them wouldn't be an inch narrower than the
Atlantic
Ocean. We're like the rebellious lastborn, leery of the elders,
constantly
flouting all advices, and always trying to demonstrate our worth
on our
own terms, even if it's somebody else's terms on our own terms.
We're
never going to be happy, so we should just accept the humiliation
of our
existance, try and think about what it means to be America, and
move on
from there. I mean, if we're going to be perceived as such an uprooting
cultural force anyway, we may as well have some sense of our own
identity.
Thank you for allowing me this rant.
--
http://www.nr.infi.net/~tagutcow/twidn.html - SOON: Vanity FAQ
"In nature, one never really sees a thing for the first time
until one
has seen it for the fiftieth." -Joseph Wood Krutch
The television here subreferenced to Jeff Harrington's
Psychic TV I later
learned to be Captain Power. Pay no mind to
the mangled attempt at HTML.
Subject: Re: Negroponte: Net is way
to world peace
From: tagutcow@nr.infi.net
($199 a month)
Date: 1997/11/30
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.society.generation-x.ls-bumgarner
In article
<AF375F2C7950E724.EF8A43A05E89F3BC.4D2B16934D87DA97@library-proxy.airnews.net>,
leebum@nottowayez.net wrote:
[...]
>I saw that too. Negroponte appears to think that the interactive,
>global nature of the Net will cause all the little Johns and Ivans
of
>the world to begin to sing "We Are The World."
>
>This is a load of crap. Although it lacks the interactive features
(so
>far) of the Net, TV hasn't caused world peace. If anything, it's
led
>to the dumbing down of millions of people.
But television NEVER dumbed down a SINGLE PERSON who didn't
DESERVE to be
DUMBED DOWN!!! I mean, it takes two to tango, right?
And television does have- and always has had- interactive
potential, but
interests of national security have prevented the true blossoming
of these
features. When I was a kid I used to watch that interactive tv
show where
you help kill the enemy storm troopers by shooting at the <BLINK><TEXT
COLOR="pink">blinking pink<TEXT COLOR="black"></BLINK> areas
with the
special accessory space gun. But I didn't have the special gun
so instead
I just blew up the storm troopers with the POWER of my MIND!!!
What most people don't know is that the NSA ordered that
the guns be
discontinued when some guy used one to TEMPORARILY BLIND the NEWS
ANCHORS
at the '84 REPUBLICAN CONVENTION and generally made a MOCKERY of
the WHOLE
EVENT. A blocking signal was subsequently established at all the
major
networks and affiliates. In the following years, anarchists tried
in vain
to override the blocking signal, their desperation culminating
in the
infamous "What's the frequency, Kenneth?" beating.
Boy some people just have to ruin it for the rest of us, don't they?
>lee
>followups out of a.r.k. This is too serious.
I was going to mention something about the period of about
twenty years
preceeding the emergence of television- what with the Hitler and
the Nazis
&c.- but that would have *really* been too serious for a.r.k.
--
"I was watching CourtTV today and I think I've found the
loophole in your case.
I'll ask the judge about a writ of habeas corpus. I'll put the
*system* on
trial!"
-Jim Carrey, _The Cable Guy_
T.W.I.D.N.: http://www.nr.infi.net/~tagutcow/twidn.html • NEW:
Sto0pid MIDI files
ed: This is my first substantial post to a.r.k.
This is the article that
prompted Lee Bumgarner to say "Man, you have
less of a life than I do."
Subject: Re: Dawson's Creek: spawn
of Satan
From: tagutcow@nr.infi.net
(I killed that hippy)
Date: 1998/01/22
Message-ID: <tagutcow-2708561932190001@pm11-209.gso.infi.net>
Newsgroups:
alt.religion.kibology,alt.society.high-school,alt.society.generation-x.ls-bumgarner,rec.arts.tv
In article
<CC05BD503F088AC9.50A47EB88E3789C2.19F4BBC962D73630@library-proxy.airnews.net>,
leebum@nottowayez.net wrote:
Hey, Lee! I had a dream that you were mentioned in 'The Family Circus.'
I
really did!
>First, there was Barny...then there were The Spice Girls...then
>Hanson....
But before them you had Grimace, The Bengals, and Nelson.
If they have
seen farther...
>I officially proclaim "Dawson's Creek" as the show that no
>self-respecting Nethead can watch unless it is just for the sake
of
>having something to make fun of.
I 'fess up. I tried to catch some of Dawson's Creek because
- hey!- it's
a Television Event! (but then again, I have no Nethead clout at
stake.)
>Watching that particular collection of symmetrical faces tonight,
I
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(apologies in advance to my betters...)
A GRAPHIC REPRESENTATION OF WB PROGRAMMING
STRATEGIES IN
POSTWAR AMERICA
________^________
/
\
|\ TRUCK USA |
|_| ______|_______
/_____________________________\
/////// _____\\\\_\__
//// _____// /===\ \
/// _//
_____ | Hermeneutics is
a
||| /
* / | Rubix Cube and
& |||
/ | /===\
| -- somebody's fucked
\\\ ___/ _____
_/ with the stickers.
| @ / oo\
/||
|
\
\ At least be fair to
(o \ \ | /
| the other patients.
e^(pi*i)
| - 0
- \
/ / |
\ | ________
______/_ \
/ /0
\
/
. \____________/__ /0 ___
\
| \ / ____
. |_____ \ |0 /
\ |
0 \ | / |
V an Der Be ek | \0 |0 |-----/
/
0 | | |
\ o
/ \0_|0 |
/ .
0 \_/ /
\ _ /
\ |0 0 0 0 0
0 /
| | | |
\|
^ \_____/
| ( | | |
|
| | | )|
(Skkkyyy s c raAaper)
|_ (suckers) |
| | |
/-\___/| |\___/\
(skyyyy yyYyscrrapper)
/ /__ | | \
|> ___/| | | |\__ <| (Sky SSSS ScrapeerR)
~
/_/ |M| |M| \_\
"50 Foot Queenie"
"This chick has a crooked
mouth" <--FORESHADOWING!!!
>pondered what a show about MY life at the dawn of my 10th grade
year
>would be like.
HARRISON BUMGARNER: A biting satire by Robert Caponi.
(Scene: lecture hall. PROFESSOR is pacing back and forth,
lecturing. The
bell rings and all the students promptly arise and make their way
towards
the rear doors.)
PROFESSOR: (hurried) Uh, okay, everyone, read chapters 23
and 24 in your
textbooks (groans are heard from students.) You *will* have a test
on
Thursday (more groans.) And, uhhh, Mr. Bumgarner, I'd like to speak
with
you for a moment after class.
(Cut to HARRISON BUMGARNER, visibly dreading the next scene.)
(Short time elapse. PROFESSOR is speaking to HARRISON BUMGARNER
with his
back turned away from him, instead staring up at a ridiculously
oversized
heroic portrait of FearlessLeader. The classroom is otherwise empty.)
PROFESSOR: (beleagured) Bumgarner, Bumgarner, Bumgarner. Why,
it was only
last quarter you were pulling in (pause)... straight 'F's!
(PROFESSOR swivels around, having drawn all possible inspiration
from
FearlessLeader's portrait. He is holding a test and approaches
HARRISON
BUMGARNER.)
PROFESSOR: (irate) WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?! (slams test
down on
table, it is graded "B+")
HARRISON BUMGARNER: But... but...
(SCOTT THOMPSON-LOOKING GUY appears at door.)
SCOTT THOMPSON-LOOKING GUY: Excuse me, do any of you know
where I could
find Mrs. Zimmerman's office?
PROFESSOR: (still shouting) Take a right down that hall, room 312.
(SCOTT THOMPSON-LOOKING GUY shuffles off.)
PROFESSOR: (simmering down) Why, it was only last quarter
you had NO
extracirricular activities; now tell me how you're EVER going to
make it
to the COOL TABLE with THIS! (slams down school newspaper with
prominent
headline "Local Elderly Woman Talks about Being Old"; the byline
"Harrison
Bumgarner" is highlighted.)
HARRISON BUMGARNER: I... I...
PROFESSOR: (pleading) Harrison, you are a young man of such
potential. I
know if you apply yourself, you could be making 'D's and 'F's like
the
other students. Instead, not only are you getting 'B+'s and 'A-'s,
but
when I see something like this... it just, it just...
(PROFESSOR opens school newspaper to editorial section and
points to
headline "GUI-Based Protocol to Return Usenet to its Former Glory."
HARRISON BUMGARNER's face lights up with some amount of genuine
excitement.)
HARRISON BUMGARNER: Yes, it's an HTML based...
(PROFESSOR's face turns bright red.)
PROFESSOR: (with renewed anger, pounds table) YOU'VE GOT YOUR
WELL AND
YOU'VE GOT YOUR VANILLA USENET, AND IF THAT'S WHAT OUR FEARLESS
LEADER...
(immediately falls silent and hangs head for about thirty seconds.
In the
background, we hear the PA system relaying the hourly reminder
in a
soothing, fatherly voice; "...remember, it is in the best interests
of
everybody not to question the authority of our sovreign FearLessLeader.
The repression of individuality makes everything work seamlessly..."
This
silence also offers a great opportunity for the viewer to regroup
and make
heads and tails of this fiendishly difficult premise.)
(SCOTT THOMPSON-LOOKING GUY appears at door again.)
SCOTT THOMPSON-LOOKING GUY: Excuse me, do any of you know
where I could
find Mrs. Zimmerman's office?
PROFESSOR: (head still down, with a calm tone) Down the hall, room 312.
(SCOTT THOMPSON-LOOKING GUY shuffles off.)
PROFESSOR:If it's good enough for FearlessLeader...
HARRISON BUMGARNER: I can't work with this material. Waaah! I give up.
(SCOTT THOMPSON-LOOKING GUY appears at door again.)
SCOTT THOMPSON-LOOKING GUY: Excuse me, do any of you know
where I could
find Mrs. Zimmerman's office?
(HARRISON BUMGARNER and PROFESSOR chase after SCOTT THOMPSON-LOOKING
GUY
with pitchforks.)
>My tenth grade sucked just as much as the rest of them. There were
>about 10 chyx in the entire (military) school and the one that
would
>acknowledge my existence (the most popular of them) would only
do so
>when no one could see the event happen (I knew her from elementary
>school.)
>
>Then why am I watching the damn thing at all? I dunno, I get a
good
>laugh at how surreal it is in some respects (What, has there been
a
>cure for zits since I was a teen?) and the My So Called Sex Life
And Dawson doesn't strike me as an interesting or likable character.
I
don't want to know what Makes Him Work.
>quality of it is also amusing. While with "My So Called Life" I
just
>got sad, with this show I keep imagining creative ways to kill
off
>characters. (Wesly Crusher, anyone?)
Dawson Leary, appalled by the lack of tact his friend displayed
in trying
to woo the teacher, holds his friend's head under Dawson's Creek
until the
arms stop thrashing around.
>And the fact that these painfully perfect-post-modern-boys don't
turn
>into Bevis&Butthead once the testosterone begins to flow through
their
>veins almost makes it seem like this is a "Sliders" spin off.
The male contingent of the show is at best passable (I mean,
this is a
chick show, right? Bring on the honies!) But that blond chyk...
hoo
doggies! I predict big things for her!
BUTTHEAD: Huh, huh- yeah... and one of them is in my pants. Huh huh.
BEAVIS: Hey wait, Butthead! This is really lame! I'm serious!
There's
simply no excuse for a Beavis and Butthead style dialog in this
day and
age! The average Usenet reader deseres better!
BUTTHEAD: Uhhh... huh, huh,...oh yeah!
BEAVIS: (serious expression turn back to regular Bevis expression)
heh
heh... But even though he uses my unauthorized likeness for his
modern
koans, J. Michael Bay still rules!
BUTTHEAD: Yeah... and I hear he has- like- a big weiner... Huh, huh... cones.
(Butthead changes the channel)
BEAVIS: Hey, Look! Look! That chick from Sliders is doing
it! And she's
naked! Whoah!
BUTTHEAD: (already sitting on his hand) Yeah, but that guy
from that
stupid movie about food is just sitting there looking at them do
it. Huh,
huh, (suprisingly effective accent) "ees so good you die!"
Speaking of B&B, I have this new bag: on a PBS "Science
Odyssey"[1]
dealing with the technological innovations of the 20th C., the
host tended
to frame the topics in the mindset of their day. For example, he
would say
(in an ironically dubious tone) "...and the newspapers are telling
us of
two men from Ohio who have constructed a heavier-than-air flying
machine... if you can imagine that!" At which point I mumble under
my
breath something to the effect of "Yeah, it's called an AIRPLANE,
you
idiot." I did this for the whole show! Brahahaha (laughter turns
to
crying) haangh haangh haangh huuuh huuh (produces hankerchief)
*SSSKKNNNXXX*. So lonely. So very, very lonely!
>Another interesting touch: much like Ally McBeal (a show I actually
>like a great deal) there is a token miniority already built into
the
>show, so if it becomes really popular the producers won't have
to
>figger out a way to add one to the cast later on.
>
>lee
I'm having a climax issue with this post (yes, that lime made
me laugh
out loud... Ok, maybe it just made me guffaw.)
Yours in Symmetry,
Shannon Dougherty (R- Ca.)
P.S. I hate you.
[1] My demographic ilk score more than your demographic ilk,
you
collegiate weasels! [2]
[2] Footnotes end here. "P.S."s to resume. (BTW, it's Shannon
Dougherty
who hates you, Lee, not me.)
P.S. I'm tired! I want to taste Mr. Valerian's stinky, stinky root
and get
some delicious, delicious sleep! I want to dream about seeing Lee
Bumgarner's name in print. Not his relative's who's always writing
angry
letters to the News & Record about how much the Kennedys suck.
--
http://www.nr.infi.net/~tagutcow/twidn.html - NEW:
Sto0pid MIDI files
"Art O'Brien: Cop" ~ "Bacon or Tripe?" ~ "NBC Opera Riot" ~ "A
Pro/Con Tribe"
"I Borne To Crap" ~ "Coroner Bit Pa" ~ "Be or Rot? Panic!" ~ "A
Robot Prince"
"Torn CIA Probe" ~ "Croon? It be Rap!" ~ "Nero Atop Crib"
~ "A Boor Crept In"
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