My first inclination is to begin my spiritual autobiography somewhere around age forty, when I began to move away from a sterile,
non-theistic view of the universe toward one based on a hard-to-define but very real sense of the presence of the Divine in
my life. Yet, as I think about those formative years, I see that there really was a thread of spirituality that extended back
to that time. I'm trying now to pick out that thread.
Shortly after World War II, my father bought a house about six blocks north of the apartment where we had lived since I was
two. For the first time, I had a room of my own.
One evening, as I was getting ready for bed, I stripped down to my underpants, and then, as I pulled them off, something in
the experience made me say to myself, "Now my spirit is free." I put the underpants back on, and that feeling of freedom went
away. I took them off again. I felt more free. I repeated this several times.
I didn't interpret the feeling of nakedness as sexual. That would come later, and that's an important part of my spiritual
autobiography. In fact, any consderation of who I am, on a deep level, has to take into account two forces shaping my life:
the spiritual force and the sexual force. Other elements of my life - music, dance, theater, cats, writing, swimming, love
of nature, science, philosophy, mathematics, computers, publishing - all these have entered into my identity in some way,
but at the deepest level, my spiritual autobiography deals with these two forces.
- Ages 8 to 14
- I discovered the joy of being naked.
- I discovered my body could give me pleasure.
- I was part of a Protestant youth group, but began to read about and be attracted to other religions.
- Ages 15-17
- I tried to satisfy my spiritual thirst with conservative religion.
- My sexuality was supressed.
- Ages 18-21
- Spiritual searching.
- Breaking away from my Christian background.
- My first sexual experiences with other men.
- Ages 22-26
- Graduate school and military service.
- A time of some sexual experimentation.
- Spirituality was on hold.
- Ages 27-36
- Sexual experiences: sometimes casual, sometimes with steady boyfriends.
- A seemingly directionless life.
- Ages 37-48
- Ages 49-58
- Ages 59-63
- Ages 64-present
- As my work with the Inner Focus School did not focus on the erotic, I'm now in a period of integrating
erotic spirituality with my healing work.
- I'm working with a process called Thought-Form Cleansing, as described in The Rainbow Bridge, published by The Triune Foundation.
- Continuing my work with Native American spirituality, I've twice attended a ceremony called a Naraya.