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Audience Participation
4 November 1977 (?)
Uptown Theater
Chicago, Illinois
© 2000 by Paul Goldberg
The first time I saw Frank Zappa perform was in the late 1970's at the Uptown Theatre in Chicago. This was around the time of Sheik Yerbouti, and I think it was the same band that appears in the Baby Snakes video, including Adrian Belew and the great Terry Bozzio.
FZ was using a new wireless remote control technology instead of a cord between his guitar and the amplifiers. This gave him the freedom to walk all the way out to the edge of the proscenium during his solos. Somehow, we had managed to get seats in the third row, so at times he was so close we could have reached out and touched him. At one point, he's playing this incredible solo, he comes over right near us and the guitar is just inches away, the sound is so loud that it has a physical presence (I think FZ once described his live performances as a process of creating an "air sculpture"). The fingers of his left hand are moving impossibly fast across the fretboard, and he's making eye contact with us, just staring implacably with an air of concentrated precision.
This music is THE BEST! A feeling wells up in me I can't really explain. I feel like . . . what? Like Freaking Out! Like jumping onto the stage in ecstasy!
Mercifully, Zappa strolls away along the edge of the audience, and the intense feeling subsides a bit. But now he's strolling back, and he's in my face again, I can't take it anymore, I'm freaking out!!! And then, suddenly, a 24 oz. paper cup full of Coke flys over my shoulder and onto the stage toward Zappa. Without missing a note, Zappa ducks the neck of the guitar down and the Coke flies over it. Just as quickly, Zappa's bodyguard leaps over our heads and runs up the aisle in pursuit. He's a big, bald oriental guy we dubbed "Oddjob" after a character from a James Bond movie. Zappa finishes his solo, and withdraws back to the main stage near his equipment rack. The band goes into a steady vamp, and all eyes are fixed on Frank as he fastidiously wipes down his guitar with a towel. Oddjob comes out from the wings dragging a wasted-looking kid behind him. He holds the kid up near Zappa, dangling him by the collar of his dirty khaki jacket. The kid's eyes are wild, like a trapped animal. Zappa picks up a microphone and asks the kid, "Now, why did you go and do something STUPID like that?" The crowd roars. FZ points the mike toward the kid like a man-on-the-street TV reporter. The kid incoherently shouts, "LEMMEPLAYARRGGARRGGH!!" FZ says "What?" "LEMMEPLAYYERARRRGUITARRRGGHRRR!!" the kid screams even louder. "You want to play my guitar?" FZ asks contemptuously. The kid lunges forward, grabs the mike with both hands, and screams, "I WANNA FUCK EVERY GIRL IN THIS AUDIENCE!" Oddjob pulls him offstage, the kid literally dragging his heels behind him, ranting and wildly waving his arms. On that beat, as if it were rehearsed, the band goes into the next song, and the show goes on.
At this point I truly realized that Frank Zappa's music was unlike anything else I had ever heard. And boy, was I glad I hadn't jumped onto that stage!
Editor's note: The date of this show is uncertain; 78/09/29 is another possibility. The likeliest date was chosen due to our anal rentoontentoontentiveness, so blame us if it's incorrect. - Stu
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