What's your sign?

 

Problem:  This is the O.G. pick-up line.  There is nothing worse than picking up a girl trying to use a line that is as old as your grandmother.  If you can't think of anything better than this, save yourself the pain, and get yourself a hooker.

 

Parden me, are you tired?  Girl:  Yeah 

You:  I wonder if it has anything to do with you running through my head all night:

 

Problem:  Cheese ball.  Trite.  Maybe not as old as your grandmother, but at least as old as your mother.

 

Is your father a thief?  Girl:  Why?

You:  Cause he stole the stars out of the stars and put them in your eyes.

 

Problem:  Old as dirt.

 

Excuse me, do you have any Italian in you?  Girl:  What?

 

You:  Do want some?

 

Problem:  Aggresively sexual.  Unless, you're like at a whore convention, or you're in Italy, you're going to be crap out of luck.

 

Are those space pants you're wearing?  Girl:  Why?  You:  Cause that ass is out of this world.

 

Problem:  The line is unoriginal and if you're first line is about her ass you have no class.

 

You know, I was never too good at math...like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69.

 

Problem:  If the girl is naive she won't get it.  If she's a prude, you'll get slapped.  If she's a whore, she might not even like 69.  Drop it like a bad habbit.

 

Can I buy you a drink, or should I just give the money?

 

Problem:  Do you want a whore or a girlfriend.  You should never spend money on a girl upon first meeting, unless you are already making out with her. 

There are too many women out there who will honestly take your money or drink and walk away without feeling any obligation what so ever.  Only use this line if you want to be broke by the end of the night, or unless they sign some contract that guarantees ROI.

 

Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?

 

Problem:  Asking for a phone number right off the bat will only work if you're a celebrity or a face man with swagger.

 

What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

 

Problem:  You're telling her that she has bad taste.  Also who wants to be described as nice?

 

Hey, what's up?

 

Problem:  Unless you're something pretty special, she'll probably just look at you funny.  You better have something a little more clever to at least get a giggle.