" I resign. I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member "
" Blood's not thicker than money. "
( Double Dynamite )
" Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. "
( A Day at the Races ).
"Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably more than she ever did. "
( Duck Soup ).
" I cannot say that I do not disagree with you. "
"Room service? Send up a larger room"
"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."
"I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book."
"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?"
"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"Outside of a dog, books are a man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho: So, Mrs. Smith, do you have any children?
Mrs. Smith: Yes, thirteen.
Groucho: Thirteen! Good lord, isn't that a burden?
Mrs. Smith: Well, I love my husband.
Groucho: Lady, I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.