For anyone wishing to visit or live in The City, this is invaluable and hilarious! Hope it doesn't offend anyone. "HOW TO TALK SAN FRANCISCAN" Bankers Heart: A hideous black granite sculpture in the plaza of the Bank of America building. Bezerkely: Berkeley on acid; record company of same name. Bonnie Baker: Bay to Breakers yuppie breeder running race held every May. Bottom: Opposite of a Top. Bridge and Tunnel Crowd: The kids from East Bay burbs that swarm all the clubs on Saturday night. Lifted from New York. Breeders: Heterosexuals. Buds, doses: The proper way to greet someone on Haight Street. Alternatively, "bugs and roses." Cafe Hairdo: Cafe Fleurs. Owing to a late 80's article shot at Fleurs entitled "Hairdos of Castro Street." Castro Clones: Gay leather look-a-likes that prowl the Castro Street bars. Connectedness: A holdover new age phrase still in use by Ecstasy Heads. Coitus Tower: Coit Tower. Shaped like a fire hose nozzle. Financed by a woman with a big time fireman fetish. Dick ranch: Gay bar, or any place that contains a disproportionate amount of men (only used by breeder jocks.) Ecstasy: San Francisco's decade old drug of choice. Fascist: Anyone to the right of The San Francisco Bay Guardian. Five & Tens: East Bay residents (area code 510). Fog Belt: Area west of Twin Peaks. Full on: Quite, extremely. Fully: Totally. Girlfriend: Gay male term of endearment. Grub'n: Verb to eat, or delicious. Haightball: A particularly intense brand of pick-up basketball found in the Panhandle. Hella: Very, really. Herpes Triangle: The Golden Gate Grill, The Balboa Cafe, and The Baja Cantina- three yuppie breeder pick-up bars in Cow Hollow. The only places in town where it is acceptable to order a Coors Light. Hippie Hill: A popular sunbathing spot in Golden Gate Park. Hills and the flats: Two distinct socioeconomic and geographical areas of the East Bay. Jerry's Kids: Grungy nomadic creatures that clutter Haight Street when the Dead are in town. Joe: Joe Montana, former quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers. Johnny: A policeman. Liquid heroin: Jagermeister and peppermint schnapps. Tastes like Vicks Formula 44. L.U.G.: Lesbian until graduation. Very East Bay. Mount Tam: Mount Tamalpais, just over the Golden Gate bridge in Marin. Multimedia Gulch: Area South of Market thought to contain the best and brightest in the burgeoning, if overhyped, field of multimedia. NEMO: New Montgomery Street in bike messenger lingo. Nickels and dimes: Five and ten dollar bags of your drug of choice. Niners: San Francisco 49'ers. The only sports team San Franciscans are truly religious about. No doubt: A way of agreeing without really listening. It beats "uh huh." Out there: Strange. Polk Street: Gay hustler sleazoid mecca. Where the married queers from the Castro go to cheat on their husbands. Right On: You know what it means and it's back in style in The City. Ring toss: Any of the many predominantly male nude beaches. Sadcore: A new style of somber, lopey music now popular in the Bay Area. Severe: Those who possess a shaved head, ten or more piercings, radical tattoos, and an ability to look extremely mean when needed. SF Comical: The biggest joke in town, the San Francisco Chronicle. Shot to the curb: Drag queen parlance for an ugly or badly dressed girl. Snivel: to bum or leach. Sniveler: SF Slacker. Snob Hill: Nob Hill. Soak and pokes: A hot tub spa with private rooms where breeders do the old in and out. Specific Whites: Pacific Heights, the upscale yuppie part of town. St. Maytag: St. Mary's Church, on Geary and Gough. Resembles a washing machine agitator (also known as "Our Lady of the Spin"). Swish Alps: A predominantly gay neighborhood in the hills above the Castro. The Avenues: Where all the people who voted for Frank Jordan live. Also known as The Sunset. The Big One: The inevitable earthquake that will one day level the city and kill us all. The Castro: Castro Street area. Strangely suburban-like and homogenized gay bar mecca. The City: Never Cisco or Frisco, seldom San Francisco. The Glass Coffin: Twin Peaks, an over-50s' bar on Castro near Market, which is surrounded by windows. The Hood: The Lower Haight. Not to be confused with that hippie crap on Upper Haight. The Jukebox: The Marriott on Mission St. a.k.a. The Wurlitzer. The Kind: The kind green bud. Which San Franciscans still frequently enjoy. The Park: Golden Gate Park. The Pink Palace: The city's most notorious low income housing project (on Hayes). The Stick: Candlestick Park, a windy and cold stadium where the 49'ers and Giants play. The Wall: The strip of cement on Sansome where bike messengers congregate in between tags. Top: The opposite of a bottom. Upper Safeway: The no man's land between the Castro and the Haight. If you can see the enormous Safeway sign from your home, then you live here. Veal cake: Somewhere between chicken and beef when it comes to taste in men. Then there are the corn fed and the milk fed. Wiggin': Stressing or freaking out. Heard mostly in the Haight. William Hurts: Men who try to get laid by being pitiful, sympathy-inducing men.