I had twelve bottles of whiskey in my cellar; and on a gray New Year's morning my wife suggested that I should consign the contents of each bottle to the drain—otherwise…. So I said that I would do it, and toward evening I set about the disagreeable task.
I uncorked the first bottle and poured the contents down the drain with the exception of one glass, which I drank. Then I uncorked the second bottle and emptied the whiskey down the drain with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork out of the third bottle and drank the contents with the exception of one glass, which I spilled down the drain.
I pulled the bottle out of the cork of the next, drained a drink from it, and threw the rest in a glass; pulled the drain from the next glass and poured the cork in the bottle; then I corked the drain with the glass, filled the drink in the bottle, and drank what had been poured out.
When I had emptied them all, I straightened the staggering house with one hand and counted the bottles, corks, glasses, and drains with the other. There were twenty-nine. In order to be certain that the result was correct, I counted them once more as they passed before my eyes; now there were seventy-five. As the house and the corks floated by I added them anyway, and finally I had counted all the houses, bottles, corks, glasses, and drains, with the exception of one house and one bottle, which I drank.
Translated from a German newspaper sidebar entitled “Scottish Jokes”.
translation © 1967