Fifteen years of my life was spent doing self mutilation as I shared in
my testimony home page. It began at about the age of 13 and continued on until the age of 28. The battle ended in 1997 when
I was completely delivered from cutting myself by the Lord Jesus Christ.
My name is Louise and I am a 38 year old female. Scars cover my arms, legs and neck but joy fills
my heart as I am set free from mutilating my own body. I thought I was a hopeless case… many ‘experts’ told
me I was. But I am living proof that I am not! There was hope for me and I am here to tell all of you that there is hope for
you also! We were not created to suffer as I always told myself. Life is not as miserable as it seemed. Anger and hatred no
longer control my heart and emotions. Life doesn’t have to be the way it was. The 2 main things that I so desperately
longed for was…
and I truly believe this is what we all are yearning for. I can tell you, truthfully, that it can be found! But do not
expect to find it in material things, in music, in lovers, or anything else tangible for that matter. I found true happiness.
I found true love. And I can tell you that it has changed both my heart and my life. So much, that I need to tell you all
about it. Because it is available for you also!!
The first thing and most important step is to understand why you are cutting. I really didn’t
know why I was doing it. I can go as far as to say I wasn’t even in complete control of it. What I did know however,
was how I felt. My emotions of raging anger surely were evident. And they were prodded on by thoughts that I had. Thoughts
of how no one cared and how alone I was and thoughts of who hurt me and who laughed at me. Thoughts of who was doing ‘this’
to me and who was doing ‘that’ to me… continually. I don’t know if you are having the same thoughts,
but I can tell you that you ARE having thoughts that are leading to your cutting. They may be the same as I had… they
may be different. But I can tell you this… they are negative and deceitful. They are lies and conjure up powerful emotions.
The scriptures (Holy Bible) speak of an enemy roaming around looking to devour us all. That enemy is the devil. I know…you
don’t believe it. But I can tell you this… God says it’s true. You can surely believe whatever you like…
but the cutting is real. The blood and scars are real. The fury and anger and crying out from loneliness is real. The emotions
are real. You can read online and in many books about cutting and find many different voices regarding self mutilation. Many
of these people have never been in our shoes. They’ve never sliced their own body parts in a raging fit or experienced
the overpowering emotion that triggers a cutter. I know I’m just one of thousands of voices out there trying to help
a cutter In any way I can. But please remember… I was a cutter myself… I also am an over comer of cutting. Cutting
and self mutilation of one’s own body is a demonic thing. Meaning demons are influencing the individual to cut themselves.
Some people are demon possessed (as I was). When I was younger I had written many poems. I spent a lot of time “releasing”
by writing down my feelings and thoughts. In many of my poems I had referred to the devil as being my father. The creepy thing
about this is that the Bible (God’s Word) tells us that a person who is not born again is a child of the devil. That
until we become Christians… our father is not God. That people are under the power of the devil until they become sons
of God. Now, I surely did not know any of this back then so my question would be where did this information in my mind come
from? I can boldly tell you now… from the demons. To get to the point as quickly as possible… a person who cuts
is either greatly influenced or possessed by demons. And to be released from their power one must become a Christian and be
filled with the Holy Spirit. The good news? Jesus Christ is our deliverer and desires to free us from the bondage of the devil.
He loves us incredibly much and yearns to see us set free. But a person can only be set free by turning their heart to the
Lord Jesus Christ and away from their own sins in their life. When I surrendered my life (gave up control) in 1998, the Lord
Jesus came into my life and not only my life but my heart also. All the depression, anger, hatred, misery, and feelings of
loneliness vanished from my life! I was a new creature in Christ Jesus and no longer a cutter. Oh how glorious is God! I tell
you the truth… deliverance will come when you call on the Lord Jesus Christ!
Through the many years of my cutting I had no one to talk to about it. There was no one else I
knew who had the scars or the wounds I had. No one else who understood the pain I was feeling and the intense emotions that
controlled me. No one I knew could understand my extreme loneliness and aching heart. I tell you friend, I am here for you.
Perhaps you just want to vent to someone who can relate? Maybe you so desperately want to stop this self mutilation and don’t
know where to turn? Maybe an ear is all you need? Someone to just listen. Or possibly you are seeking someone to pray for
you or with you about this. Perhaps you are ready to give up your life to Jesus and be delivered from cutting up your body
forever? My friend, I am here. The whole basis for this site is to help you. I have lived the life of a cutter and I know…
I know... So please contact me and let’s see what wonderful things the Lord will do!
In Jesus’ love and service,