A good Mad Scientist is always looking for ways to increase the madness quotient around the lab, and ferrets are just the ticket to get that done.

All ferrets joining the lab staff are expected to pull double duty, acting as Evil Minions when necessary, and serving as research faculty in the Fuzzy Institute for the Study of Non-Newtonian Physics and Other Anomalous Phenomena. For more information on the Fuzzy Physics Institute, follow the Busyness link.

The lab is well equipped, but we need to pinch pennies to save for the big ticket items needed for World Conquest. (Please donate!) You can learn our techniques for constructing cheap and useful items on the Lab Equipment page.

But, we don't spend all our time wielding pipe cutters and utility knives. Sometimes we like to relax by writing parody songs. (Naturally, Dr. Demento is our hero and a role model in the lab.) We inflict our efforts on the world via the Songbook page, as stage one in our plan to ... ah, but you will learn of that in due time, my pretties.

Why ferrets, I pretend to hear you ask? How did I get started on the slippery slope of the Ferret Math equation? Well, if you have a hankering for sappy narratives, you can learn the answer by reading Pogey's Story.